Season 1 Episode 11
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Hello Everyone!! Welcome back to another episode of Grapholistic Podcast. The pod all about handwritings and characters analysis. I am your podcaster, Sulianah. I am the founder and the Graphologist for Grapholistic International. Grapholistic International is a company which I built since 2005 focusing on personality development and handwritings and characters analysis.
In this episode, I will continue with Phase 4 in building your self-esteem and foundation of your personality. This part of phase 4 is considered one of the most essential steps to build your foundation. That is setting goals. Setting goals, be it a small one for your day-to-day activities or long-term as far as 5 years is one of the core reasons that could motivate you to go through your daily activities and encourage you to wake up every morning.
During the 17 years of my time working with organisations managing personnel and the business human resources, I had the opportunities to observe individuals performances, mindset, the way the make decisions and even their way to communicate to others as minor as their behaviour, tone of voice and accepting or rejecting ideas and suggestions.
I could see the differences between the employees who set goals and those who don’t. The ones who has no specific goals set for themselves doesn’t matter whether it is for their personal life outside of the company or their day to day goals. The goals they have in mind affects the way they think towards themselves and their personal value, which eventually are usually projected in the way they speak to others, the way they produce the end results which is the quality of their job, their productivity, their perspectives on things that are happening around them, the way they speak to their co-workers that means their tone of voice, respectful, manageable ego and many other factors.
Setting goals for yourself is the fifth point in Phase 4 under the Long-Term Process. The aim of settings goals is to keep you to move forward. The reason you wake up every morning looking forward to perform your roles in your personal life.
Every day when you wake up you will not drag yourself out of bed. What are those goals? Set it, think about it, and you will feel happier when you get out of bed every morning. For instance, your goals are to run your own businesses in the future. Now you are at the beginning stage of your career where you are working as a fresh graduate in a company. Gaining experiences in many ways, exploring, and testing the market all that is considered part of the process. While doing this, if you don’t have something to look forward to, you will not be motivated to live your current life.
You will feel down, depressed, no mood to sit in your office and perform the daily responsibilities that you are paid to do. When you don’t have that energy, the outcome will be unpleasant meaning that your work performance will be not on par with the company’s expectations. Everything will be like a domino effect. Your social communication and relationship with your colleagues and your friends will not be exciting and you don’t look forward to talk to them. These will happen. I have seen this in those companies I have worked with before. Employees’ performances were sometimes questionable even though the company gave a lot of benefits and appreciate the employees. There was at one moment of time that I had advised my director who is the owner of the company that personal motivation and goals settings could be the possibilities. When the employees might not have certain goals and aim for themselves, or when they couldn’t see their goals attainable in the company, that is it. It will affect their outputs, quality and even respect towards their job.
Throughout the years, my motivations have been always what I wanted in my life. I want something that I could look forward to and achieve for myself. Just so you know, I am doing all these without being forced by my parents because sometimes people have to do some things by forced and it is their parents’ dreams not theirs.
Over the years, I observed that even though I faced with situations like failures, or like heart breaks, it will last about probably maximum 3 or 4 weeks or the recent ones was like 2 months. I keep myself back up because there are other things in life that is more important than those problems I am facing. Don’t get me wrong, I will still experience heart breaks and be upset but because I feel that there is something else in life that need my attention, that motivation comes back up again.
While talking to you about this, I had just gone through a heartbroken moment for again unrequited feelings about someone. I went through the same old process like when I lost someone. Missing them, wondering whether there is something that could be changed, but then now I am back up again. Attracted to new people, flirt again with new people, back to the gym and exercise routine, continue writing, publishing new books and exploring new business ideas to bring myself to that goal that I have been imagining and manifesting since I was 15 years old. If you are experiencing similar situation like mine, you know that within you, you can handle it. It is whether you want it or not. And it is okay, if you feel like crying while listening to Driver’s License by Olivia Rodrigo, or you feel like you need to cry it out while listening to the whole tracklist of folklore thinking about that person again. It is okay to feel like shedding tears or keep repeating the song because frankly all the songs are really a good one. But then on the other hand, you know at the back of your mind, there is something else that you need to do in your life. Something more important. A purpose that will make you feel the satisfaction that you have been craving for. The value that only you could feel it and could know the difference. That freedom of choice.
In this episode, I will continue with Phase 4 in building your self-esteem and foundation of your personality. This part of phase 4 is considered one of the most essential steps to build your foundation. That is setting goals. Setting goals, be it a small one for your day-to-day activities or long-term as far as 5 years is one of the core reasons that could motivate you to go through your daily activities and encourage you to wake up every morning.
During the 17 years of my time working with organisations managing personnel and the business human resources, I had the opportunities to observe individuals performances, mindset, the way the make decisions and even their way to communicate to others as minor as their behaviour, tone of voice and accepting or rejecting ideas and suggestions.
I could see the differences between the employees who set goals and those who don’t. The ones who has no specific goals set for themselves doesn’t matter whether it is for their personal life outside of the company or their day to day goals. The goals they have in mind affects the way they think towards themselves and their personal value, which eventually are usually projected in the way they speak to others, the way they produce the end results which is the quality of their job, their productivity, their perspectives on things that are happening around them, the way they speak to their co-workers that means their tone of voice, respectful, manageable ego and many other factors.
Setting goals for yourself is the fifth point in Phase 4 under the Long-Term Process. The aim of settings goals is to keep you to move forward. The reason you wake up every morning looking forward to perform your roles in your personal life.
Every day when you wake up you will not drag yourself out of bed. What are those goals? Set it, think about it, and you will feel happier when you get out of bed every morning. For instance, your goals are to run your own businesses in the future. Now you are at the beginning stage of your career where you are working as a fresh graduate in a company. Gaining experiences in many ways, exploring, and testing the market all that is considered part of the process. While doing this, if you don’t have something to look forward to, you will not be motivated to live your current life.
You will feel down, depressed, no mood to sit in your office and perform the daily responsibilities that you are paid to do. When you don’t have that energy, the outcome will be unpleasant meaning that your work performance will be not on par with the company’s expectations. Everything will be like a domino effect. Your social communication and relationship with your colleagues and your friends will not be exciting and you don’t look forward to talk to them. These will happen. I have seen this in those companies I have worked with before. Employees’ performances were sometimes questionable even though the company gave a lot of benefits and appreciate the employees. There was at one moment of time that I had advised my director who is the owner of the company that personal motivation and goals settings could be the possibilities. When the employees might not have certain goals and aim for themselves, or when they couldn’t see their goals attainable in the company, that is it. It will affect their outputs, quality and even respect towards their job.
Throughout the years, my motivations have been always what I wanted in my life. I want something that I could look forward to and achieve for myself. Just so you know, I am doing all these without being forced by my parents because sometimes people have to do some things by forced and it is their parents’ dreams not theirs.
Over the years, I observed that even though I faced with situations like failures, or like heart breaks, it will last about probably maximum 3 or 4 weeks or the recent ones was like 2 months. I keep myself back up because there are other things in life that is more important than those problems I am facing. Don’t get me wrong, I will still experience heart breaks and be upset but because I feel that there is something else in life that need my attention, that motivation comes back up again.
While talking to you about this, I had just gone through a heartbroken moment for again unrequited feelings about someone. I went through the same old process like when I lost someone. Missing them, wondering whether there is something that could be changed, but then now I am back up again. Attracted to new people, flirt again with new people, back to the gym and exercise routine, continue writing, publishing new books and exploring new business ideas to bring myself to that goal that I have been imagining and manifesting since I was 15 years old. If you are experiencing similar situation like mine, you know that within you, you can handle it. It is whether you want it or not. And it is okay, if you feel like crying while listening to Driver’s License by Olivia Rodrigo, or you feel like you need to cry it out while listening to the whole tracklist of folklore thinking about that person again. It is okay to feel like shedding tears or keep repeating the song because frankly all the songs are really a good one. But then on the other hand, you know at the back of your mind, there is something else that you need to do in your life. Something more important. A purpose that will make you feel the satisfaction that you have been craving for. The value that only you could feel it and could know the difference. That freedom of choice.
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How can you start to set your goals doesn’t matter whether it is for a long-term or short-term?
The first step is for you to ask yourself this question. What do you want for yourself, for your life? This is what you want not about others. Not your parents. Not your partner. You have to know what you want first. Both the destination and what you want to achieve from this journey. Meaning that for instance your goal could be to be a CEO of a Multi-National Corporation, or you can also mention exactly the company name that you want up to you, or your goal could be to be the top student in your university or in school. You should be detailed when you say those goals. If you said you want to be the Top student, say it as in first, second or third. I did mine when I was taking my N Level exam I said it as top third. So well, I got the top third. Exactly top third student. Can you imagine if I said I would like to be the first top student?
Or your goal can be the most highly paid artist in your country or the industry, or owns several companies and managing it. Or you can say be the richest or be the most well-known artist in the world. Remember, there are no limits to your imagination. Your mind can take in anything as abundance as being in the cover of a fashion magazine. Or as famous and reputable songwriter. Whatever your goals are there is no limits. Then remember to say the word successfully, happy, still can feel the freedom of life, healthy in your goals. You have to say out those. Just that you have to be detailed and not confused with what you want. So if you need the time to think, take that time to think.
Secondly, add in the details.
Like if you want to be highly paid artist, you want to also be someone who will have creativity and ideas that will flow smoothly and of many varieties to meet your clients’ requirements.
If you want to own many companies, add in more details the type of companies and what it will be doing. Add in your imaginations that mentioned I want to own a company that is successful with great, credible and reliable connections and vast pool of customers with multi-million profits with reliable and credible employees.
I realized this is important when there was one time I managed to achieve one of my goals, and I realized that I don’t want it that way. I had overlooked that there were other factors that I should have said. It was my position in the company I used to work in. I was aiming for a salary and a better employer and work environment, but I had forgotten to mention the position opportunities. I did managed to achieved the first two but not the last one.
Same goes to when you have a goal to be with a certain type of partner. You have to list it down what you want and what you think would fit your personality. I have never tried this before but I saw two videos online of these two individuals who did this method. They said that at first they did not have this in hand and they had bad experiences with their exes. So, they started to list down the characteristics. That is when everything changes. I have not tried this in relationships because I don’t feel like having one at the moment. But I did try this for my workplace. 14 yrs ago before I worked with one of the companies, I said to myself after experiencing working with other companies, I want to work in company with a better employer, a good boss with good environment and co-workers and I want to stay for at least 5 years because I don’t want to job hop and I want to learn and manage many things apart from only one scope of work. Then, I ended up in that place like what I had wanted. It is like the only companies that I enjoyed working in. My boss and co-workers were also good in terms of attitude. They are not perfect definitely because I worked with humans but in terms of style of working and attitude it fits me in some way. When I said fits means it doesn’t mean that if someone is lazy it is because I am lazy too. What I meant is, if someone is not meeting the company’s expectation in performance, I am there to highlight it to them and they are open to listen and changed accordingly. Something like that. And if ever we argue because of different perspectives at work, it does not affect us personally. After the arguments in the meeting, we will be back to usual. Well, I worked there for 13 years and when I left to pursue my new goals, I left in good terms and is still in good relationship with everyone.
So, this was what I meant by details.
Recently, I watched a video of someone who said about setting goals but his advise is not to be too focus on how to get there because it will restrict the journey like probably if there are other better options, we will not be swayed towards that option. This too I would like to add in as a good guide for you when setting goals. Let the journey brings you to your goals, sometimes it could be so easy that you will not expect it. But remember to say what you really need though.
The third point is to add in the emotions to your goals meaning that you have to remind yourself that you are now happy and still want to be happy or be happier when you achieved those targets. Remember that you have to first feel grateful of what you have in present. Then when you achieve those goals you have in mind, you will still be satisfied, happy, healthy, still feel the freedom of your life etc.
And for the fourth point. Every time you have achieved something, you have to keep yourself grounded. Which means you have to be self-aware that you have got what you wanted. You will have to remind yourself to be satisfied, grateful, and appreciate those accomplishments. Because if you don’t, you will noticed that you will not feel anything. And this will happened. And sometimes you might not even be satisfied with it when those are actually what you had asked for. So, when you experience those moments, stay in the present, look around, let yourself feel the environment, feel that moment, observe at the people surrounding you.
Like if you finally graduated from your masters degree or bachelor degree or PhD. Be self-aware that you are already holding that certification. Self-reflect with flashbacks of the journey you had gone through to achieve that degree. The day you apply that course, how you had made the decision to submit the registration. The moment you went for an interview with the professor. The day you received an email confirmation that you were accepted into the admission. The orientation day when you meet your classmates for the first time. The feelings you had, how anxious and nervous you were to say hi to those classmates of yours. Your first day in lecture looking around to that massive lecture hall, wondering whether you can make it to the end. Those days and nights you have to stay awake and spent time to write your reports, did research, discuss with your classmates and group mates for projects, the hardships that you had to go through to express your ideas and thoughts to your group mates. The patience that you have to deal with yourself managing your classmates and group mates. The wonderful moments when you get to see your classmates and lecturers and share your thoughts. The new relationships you build throughout the months you spent with your classmates. And then feel the feelings and your thoughts when you received your grades for every modules you had successfully completed. The grades that define your success, your hard works, efforts and patience. And then when you finally hold that certificate on the stage with your classmates. When you finally accomplish and holding that certificate the one that you have been aiming for since you were 15 years old. 20 years later you got to hold it in your hands.
I have simplified this process because to set goals and implementing it is not complicated. It is more like plan and take action, provided you do take action. If not no one can help you. Only you can help yourself achieve those.
And these goal-setting process not only applies for cases like I mentioned earlier. It applies to simple goals like going through your day today. Like going out for a date with your crush the plans that you had made to make her or him have a wonderful time with you. It applies to planning for your vacation trips. And anything that you think is a goal for you.
Setting goals is manifesting your imagination. Seed it when you were young like if you are in your teenage years, if you are not in your teens now, seed it right away whatever your age is now. There is no limit to this. All these factors are not important, and it doesn’t define whether you will accomplish it or not. As long as you plant your seed of imagination and goals, you will be surprised to see how it grows.
When you find something is lacking in you, be aware of it and do something to it. It will work out well. I can assure you because it works out for me and those people I had talked to. I am a human like you are. We are built the same only at different time, sent to a different location and different situations. And our only differences are our inclinations and personality. Whenever there is this an excuse seeping into your brain wherever it is coming from, shut it down immediately.
Remember the situations I mentioned in previous episode when I wanted to be like my friend who speaks and writes so fluently in English and then I accidentally saw her psychology thesis and the way she writes. I learnt to write with better interesting sentence with A grades after I set her as my model and goal. See how it all flows? I wanted to change and improve, and automatically it happens. This happened in less than a week if I remember correctly. Achieving your goals or targets doesn’t even take months or years sometimes.
And many times, these will materialize without you expect anything. At times whenever you feel like giving up or disappointed or wondering whether the choices you had made are right, you will meet with a stranger or anyone you don’t even know who will smile and then talk to you about his or her day and by coincidence he or she will chat with you exactly about the same problem you are experiencing. How they deal with it and then within minutes you will come back up again and forgot about your worries and this time you have to move forward to what you are aiming for. This will happen because you have set it in your mind that thing that you wanted, that imagination that you have in your mind. And for me I believe in the power of that energy surrounding me and for me I know God will help me when I need it. And I know that because I keep telling myself and imagining the same thing that it became like an automatic reflex.
Before I end this episode, remember to ask yourself what are you looking forward to today to complete? And if you have ever set and achieved your goals all this while, have you taken the time to sit and reflect on your journey and ask yourself how you feel about it?
I hope that if today you are not feeling as good as yesterday, by listening to this podcast, I hope it will make your day better.
See you in the episode. Bye!
To watch this recorded podcast, and any videos related to building self-esteem, and handwriting analysis you can visit our YouTube channel, Grapholistic International or visit www.grapholistic.com to get your handwriting analysed. Check the package options available from our website.
The first step is for you to ask yourself this question. What do you want for yourself, for your life? This is what you want not about others. Not your parents. Not your partner. You have to know what you want first. Both the destination and what you want to achieve from this journey. Meaning that for instance your goal could be to be a CEO of a Multi-National Corporation, or you can also mention exactly the company name that you want up to you, or your goal could be to be the top student in your university or in school. You should be detailed when you say those goals. If you said you want to be the Top student, say it as in first, second or third. I did mine when I was taking my N Level exam I said it as top third. So well, I got the top third. Exactly top third student. Can you imagine if I said I would like to be the first top student?
Or your goal can be the most highly paid artist in your country or the industry, or owns several companies and managing it. Or you can say be the richest or be the most well-known artist in the world. Remember, there are no limits to your imagination. Your mind can take in anything as abundance as being in the cover of a fashion magazine. Or as famous and reputable songwriter. Whatever your goals are there is no limits. Then remember to say the word successfully, happy, still can feel the freedom of life, healthy in your goals. You have to say out those. Just that you have to be detailed and not confused with what you want. So if you need the time to think, take that time to think.
Secondly, add in the details.
Like if you want to be highly paid artist, you want to also be someone who will have creativity and ideas that will flow smoothly and of many varieties to meet your clients’ requirements.
If you want to own many companies, add in more details the type of companies and what it will be doing. Add in your imaginations that mentioned I want to own a company that is successful with great, credible and reliable connections and vast pool of customers with multi-million profits with reliable and credible employees.
I realized this is important when there was one time I managed to achieve one of my goals, and I realized that I don’t want it that way. I had overlooked that there were other factors that I should have said. It was my position in the company I used to work in. I was aiming for a salary and a better employer and work environment, but I had forgotten to mention the position opportunities. I did managed to achieved the first two but not the last one.
Same goes to when you have a goal to be with a certain type of partner. You have to list it down what you want and what you think would fit your personality. I have never tried this before but I saw two videos online of these two individuals who did this method. They said that at first they did not have this in hand and they had bad experiences with their exes. So, they started to list down the characteristics. That is when everything changes. I have not tried this in relationships because I don’t feel like having one at the moment. But I did try this for my workplace. 14 yrs ago before I worked with one of the companies, I said to myself after experiencing working with other companies, I want to work in company with a better employer, a good boss with good environment and co-workers and I want to stay for at least 5 years because I don’t want to job hop and I want to learn and manage many things apart from only one scope of work. Then, I ended up in that place like what I had wanted. It is like the only companies that I enjoyed working in. My boss and co-workers were also good in terms of attitude. They are not perfect definitely because I worked with humans but in terms of style of working and attitude it fits me in some way. When I said fits means it doesn’t mean that if someone is lazy it is because I am lazy too. What I meant is, if someone is not meeting the company’s expectation in performance, I am there to highlight it to them and they are open to listen and changed accordingly. Something like that. And if ever we argue because of different perspectives at work, it does not affect us personally. After the arguments in the meeting, we will be back to usual. Well, I worked there for 13 years and when I left to pursue my new goals, I left in good terms and is still in good relationship with everyone.
So, this was what I meant by details.
Recently, I watched a video of someone who said about setting goals but his advise is not to be too focus on how to get there because it will restrict the journey like probably if there are other better options, we will not be swayed towards that option. This too I would like to add in as a good guide for you when setting goals. Let the journey brings you to your goals, sometimes it could be so easy that you will not expect it. But remember to say what you really need though.
The third point is to add in the emotions to your goals meaning that you have to remind yourself that you are now happy and still want to be happy or be happier when you achieved those targets. Remember that you have to first feel grateful of what you have in present. Then when you achieve those goals you have in mind, you will still be satisfied, happy, healthy, still feel the freedom of your life etc.
And for the fourth point. Every time you have achieved something, you have to keep yourself grounded. Which means you have to be self-aware that you have got what you wanted. You will have to remind yourself to be satisfied, grateful, and appreciate those accomplishments. Because if you don’t, you will noticed that you will not feel anything. And this will happened. And sometimes you might not even be satisfied with it when those are actually what you had asked for. So, when you experience those moments, stay in the present, look around, let yourself feel the environment, feel that moment, observe at the people surrounding you.
Like if you finally graduated from your masters degree or bachelor degree or PhD. Be self-aware that you are already holding that certification. Self-reflect with flashbacks of the journey you had gone through to achieve that degree. The day you apply that course, how you had made the decision to submit the registration. The moment you went for an interview with the professor. The day you received an email confirmation that you were accepted into the admission. The orientation day when you meet your classmates for the first time. The feelings you had, how anxious and nervous you were to say hi to those classmates of yours. Your first day in lecture looking around to that massive lecture hall, wondering whether you can make it to the end. Those days and nights you have to stay awake and spent time to write your reports, did research, discuss with your classmates and group mates for projects, the hardships that you had to go through to express your ideas and thoughts to your group mates. The patience that you have to deal with yourself managing your classmates and group mates. The wonderful moments when you get to see your classmates and lecturers and share your thoughts. The new relationships you build throughout the months you spent with your classmates. And then feel the feelings and your thoughts when you received your grades for every modules you had successfully completed. The grades that define your success, your hard works, efforts and patience. And then when you finally hold that certificate on the stage with your classmates. When you finally accomplish and holding that certificate the one that you have been aiming for since you were 15 years old. 20 years later you got to hold it in your hands.
I have simplified this process because to set goals and implementing it is not complicated. It is more like plan and take action, provided you do take action. If not no one can help you. Only you can help yourself achieve those.
And these goal-setting process not only applies for cases like I mentioned earlier. It applies to simple goals like going through your day today. Like going out for a date with your crush the plans that you had made to make her or him have a wonderful time with you. It applies to planning for your vacation trips. And anything that you think is a goal for you.
Setting goals is manifesting your imagination. Seed it when you were young like if you are in your teenage years, if you are not in your teens now, seed it right away whatever your age is now. There is no limit to this. All these factors are not important, and it doesn’t define whether you will accomplish it or not. As long as you plant your seed of imagination and goals, you will be surprised to see how it grows.
When you find something is lacking in you, be aware of it and do something to it. It will work out well. I can assure you because it works out for me and those people I had talked to. I am a human like you are. We are built the same only at different time, sent to a different location and different situations. And our only differences are our inclinations and personality. Whenever there is this an excuse seeping into your brain wherever it is coming from, shut it down immediately.
Remember the situations I mentioned in previous episode when I wanted to be like my friend who speaks and writes so fluently in English and then I accidentally saw her psychology thesis and the way she writes. I learnt to write with better interesting sentence with A grades after I set her as my model and goal. See how it all flows? I wanted to change and improve, and automatically it happens. This happened in less than a week if I remember correctly. Achieving your goals or targets doesn’t even take months or years sometimes.
And many times, these will materialize without you expect anything. At times whenever you feel like giving up or disappointed or wondering whether the choices you had made are right, you will meet with a stranger or anyone you don’t even know who will smile and then talk to you about his or her day and by coincidence he or she will chat with you exactly about the same problem you are experiencing. How they deal with it and then within minutes you will come back up again and forgot about your worries and this time you have to move forward to what you are aiming for. This will happen because you have set it in your mind that thing that you wanted, that imagination that you have in your mind. And for me I believe in the power of that energy surrounding me and for me I know God will help me when I need it. And I know that because I keep telling myself and imagining the same thing that it became like an automatic reflex.
Before I end this episode, remember to ask yourself what are you looking forward to today to complete? And if you have ever set and achieved your goals all this while, have you taken the time to sit and reflect on your journey and ask yourself how you feel about it?
I hope that if today you are not feeling as good as yesterday, by listening to this podcast, I hope it will make your day better.
See you in the episode. Bye!
To watch this recorded podcast, and any videos related to building self-esteem, and handwriting analysis you can visit our YouTube channel, Grapholistic International or visit www.grapholistic.com to get your handwriting analysed. Check the package options available from our website.