Season 1 Episode 5
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Learn to identify important traits in a person’s character by analyzing their handwriting before you commit yourself into a friendship and relationship. Learn about the way they think, how they perceived life, are they a person who listens, whether they talk a lot. These can be identified from their handwriting’s strokes, pressure, baselines, and curves. Your analysis and observation will help you to reduce conflicts when you talk to each other and most importantly, avoid the unexpected.
For more on handwriting analysis, comprehensive graphology reports and personality development coaching, visit www.grapholistic.com
We also provide team and group analysis where you can have more than 2 of your friends or team members in an online session and get each and everyone's handwriting analysed by our certified Graphologist (Handwriting Analyst).
Group analysis will cover individuals' handwriting traits including thinking pattern, decision-making, managing emotions, social and communication and who you can expect to behave or react in certain way when something happens within the group. Suitable for friends, partners, company's team members, school group mates and family members. Depending on your group size, the group analysis will take about minimum 30 mins to 2 hours, anywhere you are in the world.
Rates starts from USD 25 per person. Minimum 2 people in a group session.
Visit www.grapholistic.com to book your session.
Any feedback and questions regarding podcast, email to grapholistic (@) yahoo.com
For more on handwriting analysis, comprehensive graphology reports and personality development coaching, visit www.grapholistic.com
We also provide team and group analysis where you can have more than 2 of your friends or team members in an online session and get each and everyone's handwriting analysed by our certified Graphologist (Handwriting Analyst).
Group analysis will cover individuals' handwriting traits including thinking pattern, decision-making, managing emotions, social and communication and who you can expect to behave or react in certain way when something happens within the group. Suitable for friends, partners, company's team members, school group mates and family members. Depending on your group size, the group analysis will take about minimum 30 mins to 2 hours, anywhere you are in the world.
Rates starts from USD 25 per person. Minimum 2 people in a group session.
Visit www.grapholistic.com to book your session.
Any feedback and questions regarding podcast, email to grapholistic (@) yahoo.com
Hi everyone. Welcome back to Grapholistic Podcast.
In this episode, we will delve in further into how you can choose your friends using methods that could help you be with the correct people. As I have shared in episode 4, the people you hangout with are important. It need not be perfect, but you have to be with people who could aspire you and make you feel good about yourself. Negativities are the no go.
I am not sure about your parents, but mine usually will tell me to ignore ignore what people said, because every time if I find a person to be very rude and selfish with their comments, I will tend to talk to them back and I will not care about their age or who they are which means I don’t care if they are older than me, or whether they are my aunts or uncles. But I will not like raise my voice. There is this tone that I used that will make you questioned your intelligence.
Because one thing I realized is that, building self-esteem and learning to appreciate our self-worth is not just about how we build it within ourselves. The architecture of it comes also from how we manage the surroundings.
You see, our mind is like a filter. It will sift through the good feedbacks and compliments, while the bad comments will still be stuck on that filter even though there are a million more positive feedbacks that we received. So, in order to have a concrete healthy and high self-esteem foundation you need to make sure the people surrounding you inspire you to do so.
As you might have known by now that I have been practising the science of handwriting analysis for over 23 years. The reason this study excites me was when I was really pissed off with the people I was with when I was at the age of 15 years. Actually, it was before that but when I was at 15, I wasn’t taking any of it anymore.
I couldn’t understand my friends. The way they speak were disrespectful, their tone of voice were so sarcastic, the words they used were like dagger, it hurts. And also there will be friends who will create stories from the novels they read and say that this is their life, which was not even real. Then there will be another stage of life where I meet people hmmm actually friends who are free riders in projects specifically when I was taking my diploma in polytechnic.
All these human problems were bombarding me in my life which affect my peace in many ways. I hated and disliked that feeling. Everytime I went home, I will complained to my dad about my friends to my dad. It was not even about my studies. At that time, the only way I solved that problem sometimes were to respond sarcastically but not spending time with them were not in my list. I don’t remember thinking that that was an option. But I noticed that my sarcasm skills during that period, I can say was at the professional level.
In case you have not listened to the previous episodes of this podcast, I mentioned earlier that I found out about the science of handwriting analysis when I was at the age of 15. My dad brought back a brochure that shows a number of courses, but one course caught my attention which is this course, Diploma in Science of Handwriting Analysis.
So, after finding out what the course was about I told my dad I was interested in it and I am cutting the story short, he helped me to apply for the course. Take note this was when I was still studying for my secondary school, when I had to study all the 7 academic subjects like Maths, English, Geography, Malay, physic, chemistry and literature. It was challenging. I nearly give up on my handwriting analysis cos it was tough to understand something which is out of the box.
The first thing I did while I was studying this course was to look at my handwriting. I didn’t even care to check my friends’ handwritings first even though that is the reason I took the course was to understand their character.
But I am glad I made this first step which was to look at mine and understand myself first. If you are not certified to analyse handwriting, it is okay. I have several services available from affordable price as low as $99. You can send your handwriting through my website when you make an order for your graphology report.
So, there are many areas to look into in handwriting analysis. Since it is a science that has existed for centuries, I still was sceptical in the beginning. But when I kept learning and testing it in real life, I didn’t expect that level of accuracy.
The first few areas that I noticed in my handwriting was the professional skill I had, which was sarcasm. Apparently, when someone laughs to what you said, it might not be because that it is some hilarious comedic skit you just made. I cannot deny that my friends find me funny and quirky which I was proud off and I used it to charm people. Then I realized that those things I said some of those are really not that good. One of the sarcasms I can recall now is like when a garbage truck passed by, I will say like the perfume truck is here. And that made people laughed. Anyway, I cannot really recall anything anymore but I know for sure that I don’t mention about people’s physical or mental conditions. That is a no no for me.
And what I learnt was that sarcasm is actually a defence mechanism and I was defending myself from those friends and people who I thought that “hmmm before they attack me let me attack them first.” It was subconscious. I did not realize it initially.
From my handwriting during that time, this can be seen from the sharp end of my t-bar. T-bar is the horizontal stroke on your small letter t. Sharp end is where you end your t-bar. Most of the time it should be towards the right. Since we are talking about this, in case you end your t-bar towards the left which means you write from the right side towards the left, and most of the time I see this kind of handwriting, they are with sharp end, this signifies that you have the tendency to criticise yourself. So, change it by writing it from left to right.
There was one point of time when I was about early 20s, this trait was no longer there but the external bombardments from those people older than me really pissed me off and at that time I started to mellow down with my sarcastic remarks. I didn’t have anymore ideas like I used to. I don’t have feelings to argue with them back that will make them feel bad. Then, I told my brother that I am going to make a comeback for my sarcasm trait to be on my handwriting. For your info, it doesn’t work anymore and I was already quite tired of that trait.
The next trait that I noticed was present on my handwriting was the most important character, which is self-esteem, that is how I look at myself during that time. My t-bar was below the healthy zone. Which means below the middle zone. Even though I was fine achieving many academic improvements like better than I was in primary school, I was also good at sports like soccer, long distance run and captain ball. I felt something was lacking, always dissatisfied and not really happy in some ways, angry, frustrated, pissed off. There were many sharp ending strokes not only on my t-bar, in general on my handwriting.
Then, what I did was to improve all these traits using the method, Graphotherapy, which is included as part of the course when I studied handwriting analysis. Graphotherapy is a method to change the handwriting strokes, pressure, direction, placements of your text and signatures and many other areas on the handwriting that are red flags and that can be improved. By the way, it is not necessary or advisable to change all traits. Only those traits that are important.
Subsequently, I can see changes in the way I think, the way I act towards something. The way I think here means instead of focusing on “what ifs” in the unpleasant way, I will think in a way that what if it will work. What if it will work out well if I try.
Then, my school results and performance improved significantly which means that I started to score highest in class and then also in school overall. You will noticed that I only mentioned scores here because during that time, that was the only area that can be measured. And then I started to be grateful and appreciate things technically meaning that I will be aware of it that I had made an achievement. And when someone else has higher marks, I don’t have the feelings of jealousy or envy. In fact, at times I purposely didn’t study for a test so I will fail cos I just want to feel how it is like when failing a test or coming late in the morning so I can go for detention or sit on the parade square while reading a book just to get attention of a teacher. But only for class tests which does not contribute to the final overall scores. And not final exams. I don’t play with final exams.
And when I changed and improved myself, automatically I attract the people whom are in the positive side of the spectrum. It is like an aura. An energy that is transmitted within me. So, if you were to improve yourself, this automatically will happen to you too. Your face and outlook which probably is emitting darkness or sadness will turn to light. You may not realized this but others will.
And automatically friends who are not meant to be with you will naturally leave without the need for you to say anything. For instance, I used to sit in the foyer during recess chatting with a group of friends, then when I was in the improved mode, I decided that you prefer to spend time reading books in the library. So, this same group of friends will ask you to hangout like usual and you said nicely you will be in the library. They will either join you or they will let you be. If there are any arguments, like they are being sarcastic to you, then you know that those friends are not meant for you. Leave them be. But if those friends decided to join you or let you be yourself, but you are still friends with them, then you need not worry. I was still friends with those friends.
I am glad that when I was in secondary school when this happened, it was not like the ones I experienced in my primary school. My friends were respectful, and we still chat and hangout whenever there is a need to. But do take note that these changes doesn’t happen at one time. I noticed that it happened gradually and most of the times, I didn’t expect I will act certain way which I normally don’t. Then, I will have to do flashback and self-reflection to see “hey, I really did it?” I don’t think I will do this if I were to say no, I don’t think I can make it 10 years ago.
How you can do this in practical? You can use this method that I shared as a guide. Then test whether it will make sense in the story of your life.
But whatever it is, firstly is to look at yourself. Analysed your own character, understand it, be self-aware and don’t blame others about what are not doing right in your life because this is your life, you carve the path, you draw that visual in your imagination. You focused on yours. This may sound selfish but this is a long-term marathon. Anyway, we are not talking about whether you ignore someone who is in pain and need your help to bring them to the hospital because you have to help them whatever you can. We are now talking about developing your character holistically.
Then after you learn about yourself through your handwriting, you have to make sure you improve those that are the weakest link. Improving in yourself in a holistic way. I changed and improved myself during that time not only through Graphotherapy. I changed by exploring also using other methods. I attended courses that are motivational. Listen to motivational speech. Nowadays you can listen to podcasts or watch in YouTube. Go read motivational books. Learn to use positive words in the things you say such as instead of don’t forget to buy the book, I will say remember to buy the book. Use the word remember not don’t forget. Instead of saying, I try to do that, I will say okay I will do it. And many others like I shared in previous episodes.
Then, practice writing your views and opinions daily in your personal diary or your private blog. If you are frustrated, write about it. If you are lost with your thoughts, write about it. If you are not happy with someone, write about it. For me, I seldom share about my frustrations to friends because I don’t want my negative energy to spread to them and furthermore, they have their own life to take care. But if you have a friend whom you trust, why not share with them.
Once you learn about yourself, then go take a peek at your friend’s handwritings who you usually hangout with. And now it is time to learn about them.
What are the handwriting traits that you can focus on? Firstly, before that I hope at this stage you kind of already know what are the things that you are not comfortable with people including the people that will you will spend your time with. So, you have the gist of it. Mainly that would fit your character. Are you the type who likes people who talks so much? Are you the type who likes someone to dominate the group and you be the follower? Other traits like humane traits such as respectful, kind and all I believe those are what we would like to have in a person who we talk to. For me yes. I am not sure about yours.
I used to have a friend who I spent time with during when I was in secondary school. Overall wise, she is quite kind and naturally quite funny too. You may ask how I ended up spending time with her? If I remember correctly, she came to me maybe cos I am not the type to go to people to join them in a group until they invite me.
I am aware of the grouping thing but I am not sure whether it still does exist like the popular group or the nerd group. Hmmmm… I have seen these on TVs and movies but I don’t remember seeing this in real-life. Let me think… I guess maybe based on interests yes. Like I noticed a group of friends who like to hangout together because they will play soccer during recess time. Another group of girls who will be at the foyer who will chat, and they are the pretty girls whom the guys like. Another group maybe like they were best friends since secondary one. Another group like hangout in the library always. Maybe that kind. Not like the most popular group or nerd group like they featured in TV. I might have overlooked on this but yeah.
So, this friend that I used to spend time with, she has that kind of character like kind and funny. She was also good in telling stories. Like good good. I even told her many times, you should use your capabilities to write a book or a novel. She was and maybe still is very confident in creating stories like as if it was her actual life. I didn’t know this until her mum called me one day and asked me whether I knew this guy my friend always hangout with. So, when her mum told me his name and I was like errrrmmm… isn’t that her fiancé?
Since that incident, I decided to check my friend’s handwriting traits whether there are any signs of dishonesty or lying, which can be found normally on the left and right loops inside the small letters ‘O’. But, I don’t see any during that time. The only trait that was visible during that time which I concluded potentially matches her actions were the diminishing handwriting sizes, which means her handwriting size reduces towards the end of the sentences and also she has also very very low t-bar.
During that time, since I was still an evergreen with this study, I had little capabilities to derive the traits instantly. Apart from that, I had to open my eyes and heart to observe her behaviour. I was and still am not the type of person who likes to judge people based on their looks or anything. I am easily attracted to people just randomly actually. But that time, I learnt to be open to see through people. So, apart from that handwriting analysis studies, with the help of another friend of ours, she told me one thing she noticed. She said this, “Sulianah, I knew it. I feel something was not right. Her stories are too unbelievable.” Because every time she knows this friend is lying or create a story, she noticed that that friend will clear her throat like this… ehe ehem before continuing her story. Guys, I did not even noticed it. I heard that but I didn’t noticed that is a lying trait.
Well, how does this kind of friends affect me during that time? I can just act as if it was alright isn’t it? Why make a big deal out of it? Simple. I am a person who disliked talking on the phone. And every time she called me after school we will chat for more than one hour which is more of her talking. I don’t mind listening to people talking as long as it is the truth and not some stories created for the sake of the person’s fantasy. Basically, it was wasting my time, and made me really angry, and upset because I was lied to point blank. I think that is why since then, I always create a gap between me and whoever I am friends with. Unless I am in love with the person even though she is just a friend, I might take a bit of a risk to get closer but if they are just friends like spend time with together, I had the tendency to not to put in too much of my time and heart into it because I don’t want to have expectations. Depending on what you want actually.
And how did I solved that problem? I confronted her on the phone just because she repeated the story again. And of course, she denied it.
Since then, I never trust a thing she said. I will be like “ah ah ok.” But I had zero interest. Subsequently, I gave myself space from her. That was why I said earlier about clingy. She kept looking for me. We were still friends, but I never trusted her since then. So, you see how this can work out. I couldn’t deny the frustrations and anger when I realized that she lied and definitely that was not the first time.
But because I need to prioritize myself, I had to learn to leave doesn’t matter whether we spent time together for the last 2 to 3 years. You might tell me why don’t you teach her the Graphotherapy technique to change herself? Well, this technique or whatever methods there are in this world, if someone refused to realize or accept their flaws, nothing will work out. And I don’t tell people to change unless they come to me to ask me for help that they want to change. I am not here to interfere with people’s life.
And when you start to grow up and live your life, experiencing friendships with different type of people, you will realized that you will feel more confident on who you choose as your friends and you will be more particular. It is okay to be particular. Don’t be influenced with what people say like “Oh you are so petty” or “Why are you so particular?” “Why are you stressed out with you be friends with?” This is your life. You make your own decisions.
You might feel worried that what if I don’t have any friends? What if I am just out cast? A question for you.. would you rather be unhappy with people you hang out with like draggy to meet them, who disrespect you in any way doesn’t matter with words or physical, ignoring you or would you rather be at home alone spend time with yourself, read a book, watch movies alone, spend time with your family, go to movie theatres and watch movies by yourself and then when you go home you feel satisfied? Which scenario is better for you?
I am saying this based on my personal experiences. But provided that you build your own confidence because the difference is this. If you build your own self-confidence, when you are a performer which means that you are not the type of person who only talks but not put it into actions, you respect people, not arrogant, this positive energy will emit out and shown externally. And you need not worry because when for example you are now in school, and you might not have a specific group you always hangout with. There will be a group of friends who will noticed your working style and they will invite you to be in their group project. And then you will realized that, that group will be the best group you had ever worked with. They will look for you.
This happened to me many times like I said earlier, since I was in polytechnic year 2 I did not commit myself to spend time with specific groups. So, recently when I was taking my masters, I did the same too. Then one time, I was a loner which means that for a few modules I was with another group of classmates.
For one of the modules, this classmate of mine invited me and ask me whether I want to join her group. They knew me for one of the modules earlier and basically I did my own individual presentation which I was proud of with the results. And I was skeptical when she invited me because she doesn’t look friendly at all. So, I said to her, okay let me update you later. What I did was I quickly texted a classmate of mine wondering if they will be in this module, but she said they will not. So basically, I had no choice. Cos I don’t want to be in another groups also whom basically I feel like I might not match their working style. This was based on my observation. So, I said yes to this classmate of mine. I tell you something. After taking maybe 5 modules, that is the best match I had ever had. I heard from stories that she was mean to others and there was one person who told me directly about their experience with her after my experience with her and that group I was in. She was nothing like what they said. In fact, was opposite.
The first thing in a group work is to have a listening ear, and then evaluate what others suggest or said in a group, then if you don’t agree, say in a way that you accept and let us improve on it by adding something else to make it more interesting. I have worked on other modules with other groups, even though not all individuals in the groups made me or some people goes mad, but those who really behave in a way that is unpleasant usually are the ones that make the experience bad. Like I said, this one comes just naturally. She and the other teammates listens, and like I said when people listen even though they disagree to it nicely, we can accept it with an open heart. Which means that if they speak, we listen. Then say that is interesting. We can try that especially if you have no idea or solution to make it better, take the ideas in. Then along the way, change. And the results will be better presentation, smooth presentation, you will feel free to speak out. And I don’t feel that good for other modules I took in the groups. It was like so forced.
There were many scenarios that I could share here that when I analyzed throughout my life it is like there are pros and cons but when you see it in a long-run, the feelings that you want to feel out of it is important. Like this case, we get good marks for the presentation as for overall grade I had A-.
Another scenario was also during that same period when I was with another group who called me to join in the group. I worked well with one of them cos she and me basically match like I guess we like each other. But I just couldn’t match with the other two in terms of work wise. As for casual hi and byes were okay but not also casual talks basically there is no common topic that we match. Hmmm… but we are fine with physical touch. Okay, I don’t know how to categorise this. The only thing I remember about that group work is that “Urghhh another group discussions”. Coincidentally for that module there were lots of group discussions required. I told a friend of mine who is my close friends. I don’t like the term best friends seriously. Close friends too is abit like weird. It is more like I love her. So, I told this friend of mine Farah about my experiences in school and I said, yeah I had an A for that subject and my project marks were good but until now, I don’t know what the hell the project was, how it contributed to my learning and I dnt even understand what my group mates were saying. And I am not this type of person just so you know. I will normally know what is happening in the group.
Currently, you might be in this situation where you already have friends that you have been with for years. And if you are with them and love those feelings you have when you are with them, you enjoy being with them, and every time you are alone, you will smile whenever you think about those moments with them, they treat you well, they think about you and you think about them, when they speak, they will think before they speak just to make sure it doesn’t hurt your feelings and opinions, and when you speak to them, you think the same too, you are always excited to meet them, they are too and looking forward to meet you, they are not selfish and are generous in giving you the love and time, listen to you and you listen to them. Then you should appreciate them and those moments with them. Be grateful that you have those friends or those people in your life because that love and bond you have with them are natural and not by forced.
However, if you have the opposite symptoms like “Urgghhh what excuses should I give today just so I can avoid going out with them?” Or you have to tell yourself to be patience when they speak something that is hurtful to you but you don’t want to tell them off? Or when you said secrets is a secret, don’t tell the person first but then the person tell. Or voice raising in a rude way but while I am saying this, I feel like raising voice in any way is not right though. If you have any problem or dissatisfaction with someone, if you value them, you should talk it out in person not to raise voice and scold them. I feel like that is certainly a no go for me.
Or symptoms like they keep talking and talking, and when it is your turn to speak, they will insert their stories in? And when you ended up having to say to them this, “Stop listen let me speak first”… this is one of those signs that you have to evaluate whether is it even worth it to tell them what you need to say because they might not even care. I mean some of these might happen in 10 or 30% during that relationship but I feel like there is always limit to being patience. My personal limit sometimes can reach to 10 years until it became too much that I will always take the risk to let go especially when I realized that when too much is too much.
When you finally get to learn about yourself, and appreciate your self-worth, and what you need in a friend, you will not be worried to leave the friendship and stop yourself from hanging out with the person. You need to be brave and know your worth.
Just so you know, I had done this so far, twice with those I used to be close with and friends for a decade. When I said close means spent time like at least once a month for dinner for 3 hours but I didn’t share that much about myself cos as expected I don’t trust some people to tell about myself and in this case I was right, and this time I did make wise decisions.
And another one was with the friend I talked about earlier.
What I want to say here is that, you have a choice. Don’t tell yourself you don’t have a choice.
Before I end this episode, these are some ways that I had tried and usually I did to prepare myself and maybe not to have too high expectations of others.
Normally, I will glance at my friends’ handwriting just so I know how to speak to them and learn to listen to them. For instance, certain people will speak fast, others will take time to process what we say, one or two will tell the story from head to tail or others like me will go straight to the end story because I feel like people have short attention span.
One of these traits can be seen from the surface of the small letters ‘m’ and ‘n’. Whether it is sharp, rounded. From there, I will learn how to manage my listening skills and be aware to tell myself please be patience and shut your mouth and listen. Because, I had observed that some friends will ignore this person and decided to lose their attention and look another way. For me, what I did was to listen and make sure there is eye contact, and then I will ask questions related to the subject. You have to show interest in communicating and socializing. This is how you build your rapport, that is also being respectful which I will talk more in Season 2. But in any point of time, if you see me outside doing the opposite of this to a person, means I might be in a mode when I am teaching that person a lesson to have some manners.
You can also see from the small letters ‘e’ whether is there any hole in the small letter ‘e’. If there is no hole, this person is a selective listener. If it is consistent in the handwriting, you can expect that this person is a selective listener. You can expect that they will switch their ears off when you are talking at some point.
Then, other areas that you can look into when learning to understand a person will be how they foresee situations, how they perceive unexpected changes in life, how they look at their problems. Check their baselines whether are they declining downwards or in the upwards direction? Declining downwards baseline are more towards negative perspectives when there are new changes in life for instance. Or sometimes they could be in a disappointment stage. If they look so upset everytime you meet them, and don’t want to speak about it, have a check on their handwriting baseline. Make sure it is written on an unlined paper.
Then from there, you can confirm whether your observation is correct. And subsequently, if you think it is the right time to ask “Is everything okay”, and “If you need help or anything you can talk to me”.. go ahead with it. Checking baselines is one of a must when analysing handwritings.
I was doing a search for handwriting examples from celebrities for one of my presentations years ago, and I found two samples of handwritings of two authors. They are no longer around just in case you might be speculating who I am talking about. One author, he had a downward baseline, and the other author has an upward ascending baseline. Then, I read about their background including the types of books they wrote. The one with the upward baseline, just from the book cover, it shows colours, bright, joyful vibes even with the title of the books. While the other one, shows more like darkness, disappointments, gloomy that kind of vibes. According to the story written about them, the second one did not have a good life. He suffered from depression and sadly he ended his own life. You can check out the pictures of these two handwritings on my website and YouTube channel. I will upload it soon.
As for someone who has a moderate upwards baseline, as long as it is not at an extreme angle, it signifies how they are optimistic in their way of thinking and overcoming the challenges. Friends with straight baselines, you can expect that they are more calm when experiencing struggles or when they are in panic situations.
There are different ways to approach this. You can use handwriting analysis to search for a friend that suits you which for me is not that practical I can say because I have no idea how you would ask a stranger to write, and you see whether they are compatible with you.
Another approach is when you already know the person from school, from work, from the same office building, your neighbour, a friend of your friend, from internet including matchmaking apps and agencies, then you can start to speak to the person and then if you like them, find out about them through their handwriting, through when you speak with them, open your eyes, mind and heart and observe.
We offered comprehensive graphology report which is one of the services I offered has this section which will tell you about the type of person suitable for you, actually I will not tell you the type of person or their occupation, I will highlight more on the character of the other person. For instance, you will be compatible with someone who puts words into actions. It will balance yours and theirs together to reduce the conflicts and arguments. You will be compatible with those who are disciplined and follows time management and planning instead of those who don’t. Then, you will tell me isn’t that what everyone wants. Yeah true but not everyone though. Some people don’t mind if their friends don’t care about being on-time, some people don’t care their partners only preach but no actions. Because these are not their priorities.
What I normally do is, I rely on the first instincts, whether the person fits me based on the energy between us, our common interests, how we behave, respect towards each other, then when our friendship goes one or two steps to the category of possibilities of friends I am going to spend time with, I will then see their handwriting to understand them more.
So, what do you need to do now? I suggest you to go read up. Check out these books. I started reading these books which was found in my dad’s library when I was in my teenage years. It was written by Dale Carnegie, how to make friends and influence people. And this book which I told my dad to buy for me during that time, Making Friends by Andrew Matthews. They talked about how to listen in conversations, managing tone of voice, and when you have these, you will automatically charm and attract the right people especially if you know at the back of your mind what you need and what you want, what kind of character in a person that you can or cannot stand or who you would like to be with.
Meanwhile, I will end this episode here. Thank you for listening again.
To watch this recorded podcast, and any videos summarizing the process related to this podcast, anything to do with handwriting analysis and behind the scenes videos, you can visit our YouTube channel or visit www.grapholistic.com.
You can also get your handwriting analysed at a reasonable rate as affordable as $99 for personal analysis or for corporate employees. Check the options available from our website www.grapholistic.com.
At the meantime, take care wherever you are. I will see you in the next episode.
In this episode, we will delve in further into how you can choose your friends using methods that could help you be with the correct people. As I have shared in episode 4, the people you hangout with are important. It need not be perfect, but you have to be with people who could aspire you and make you feel good about yourself. Negativities are the no go.
I am not sure about your parents, but mine usually will tell me to ignore ignore what people said, because every time if I find a person to be very rude and selfish with their comments, I will tend to talk to them back and I will not care about their age or who they are which means I don’t care if they are older than me, or whether they are my aunts or uncles. But I will not like raise my voice. There is this tone that I used that will make you questioned your intelligence.
Because one thing I realized is that, building self-esteem and learning to appreciate our self-worth is not just about how we build it within ourselves. The architecture of it comes also from how we manage the surroundings.
You see, our mind is like a filter. It will sift through the good feedbacks and compliments, while the bad comments will still be stuck on that filter even though there are a million more positive feedbacks that we received. So, in order to have a concrete healthy and high self-esteem foundation you need to make sure the people surrounding you inspire you to do so.
As you might have known by now that I have been practising the science of handwriting analysis for over 23 years. The reason this study excites me was when I was really pissed off with the people I was with when I was at the age of 15 years. Actually, it was before that but when I was at 15, I wasn’t taking any of it anymore.
I couldn’t understand my friends. The way they speak were disrespectful, their tone of voice were so sarcastic, the words they used were like dagger, it hurts. And also there will be friends who will create stories from the novels they read and say that this is their life, which was not even real. Then there will be another stage of life where I meet people hmmm actually friends who are free riders in projects specifically when I was taking my diploma in polytechnic.
All these human problems were bombarding me in my life which affect my peace in many ways. I hated and disliked that feeling. Everytime I went home, I will complained to my dad about my friends to my dad. It was not even about my studies. At that time, the only way I solved that problem sometimes were to respond sarcastically but not spending time with them were not in my list. I don’t remember thinking that that was an option. But I noticed that my sarcasm skills during that period, I can say was at the professional level.
In case you have not listened to the previous episodes of this podcast, I mentioned earlier that I found out about the science of handwriting analysis when I was at the age of 15. My dad brought back a brochure that shows a number of courses, but one course caught my attention which is this course, Diploma in Science of Handwriting Analysis.
So, after finding out what the course was about I told my dad I was interested in it and I am cutting the story short, he helped me to apply for the course. Take note this was when I was still studying for my secondary school, when I had to study all the 7 academic subjects like Maths, English, Geography, Malay, physic, chemistry and literature. It was challenging. I nearly give up on my handwriting analysis cos it was tough to understand something which is out of the box.
The first thing I did while I was studying this course was to look at my handwriting. I didn’t even care to check my friends’ handwritings first even though that is the reason I took the course was to understand their character.
But I am glad I made this first step which was to look at mine and understand myself first. If you are not certified to analyse handwriting, it is okay. I have several services available from affordable price as low as $99. You can send your handwriting through my website when you make an order for your graphology report.
So, there are many areas to look into in handwriting analysis. Since it is a science that has existed for centuries, I still was sceptical in the beginning. But when I kept learning and testing it in real life, I didn’t expect that level of accuracy.
The first few areas that I noticed in my handwriting was the professional skill I had, which was sarcasm. Apparently, when someone laughs to what you said, it might not be because that it is some hilarious comedic skit you just made. I cannot deny that my friends find me funny and quirky which I was proud off and I used it to charm people. Then I realized that those things I said some of those are really not that good. One of the sarcasms I can recall now is like when a garbage truck passed by, I will say like the perfume truck is here. And that made people laughed. Anyway, I cannot really recall anything anymore but I know for sure that I don’t mention about people’s physical or mental conditions. That is a no no for me.
And what I learnt was that sarcasm is actually a defence mechanism and I was defending myself from those friends and people who I thought that “hmmm before they attack me let me attack them first.” It was subconscious. I did not realize it initially.
From my handwriting during that time, this can be seen from the sharp end of my t-bar. T-bar is the horizontal stroke on your small letter t. Sharp end is where you end your t-bar. Most of the time it should be towards the right. Since we are talking about this, in case you end your t-bar towards the left which means you write from the right side towards the left, and most of the time I see this kind of handwriting, they are with sharp end, this signifies that you have the tendency to criticise yourself. So, change it by writing it from left to right.
There was one point of time when I was about early 20s, this trait was no longer there but the external bombardments from those people older than me really pissed me off and at that time I started to mellow down with my sarcastic remarks. I didn’t have anymore ideas like I used to. I don’t have feelings to argue with them back that will make them feel bad. Then, I told my brother that I am going to make a comeback for my sarcasm trait to be on my handwriting. For your info, it doesn’t work anymore and I was already quite tired of that trait.
The next trait that I noticed was present on my handwriting was the most important character, which is self-esteem, that is how I look at myself during that time. My t-bar was below the healthy zone. Which means below the middle zone. Even though I was fine achieving many academic improvements like better than I was in primary school, I was also good at sports like soccer, long distance run and captain ball. I felt something was lacking, always dissatisfied and not really happy in some ways, angry, frustrated, pissed off. There were many sharp ending strokes not only on my t-bar, in general on my handwriting.
Then, what I did was to improve all these traits using the method, Graphotherapy, which is included as part of the course when I studied handwriting analysis. Graphotherapy is a method to change the handwriting strokes, pressure, direction, placements of your text and signatures and many other areas on the handwriting that are red flags and that can be improved. By the way, it is not necessary or advisable to change all traits. Only those traits that are important.
Subsequently, I can see changes in the way I think, the way I act towards something. The way I think here means instead of focusing on “what ifs” in the unpleasant way, I will think in a way that what if it will work. What if it will work out well if I try.
Then, my school results and performance improved significantly which means that I started to score highest in class and then also in school overall. You will noticed that I only mentioned scores here because during that time, that was the only area that can be measured. And then I started to be grateful and appreciate things technically meaning that I will be aware of it that I had made an achievement. And when someone else has higher marks, I don’t have the feelings of jealousy or envy. In fact, at times I purposely didn’t study for a test so I will fail cos I just want to feel how it is like when failing a test or coming late in the morning so I can go for detention or sit on the parade square while reading a book just to get attention of a teacher. But only for class tests which does not contribute to the final overall scores. And not final exams. I don’t play with final exams.
And when I changed and improved myself, automatically I attract the people whom are in the positive side of the spectrum. It is like an aura. An energy that is transmitted within me. So, if you were to improve yourself, this automatically will happen to you too. Your face and outlook which probably is emitting darkness or sadness will turn to light. You may not realized this but others will.
And automatically friends who are not meant to be with you will naturally leave without the need for you to say anything. For instance, I used to sit in the foyer during recess chatting with a group of friends, then when I was in the improved mode, I decided that you prefer to spend time reading books in the library. So, this same group of friends will ask you to hangout like usual and you said nicely you will be in the library. They will either join you or they will let you be. If there are any arguments, like they are being sarcastic to you, then you know that those friends are not meant for you. Leave them be. But if those friends decided to join you or let you be yourself, but you are still friends with them, then you need not worry. I was still friends with those friends.
I am glad that when I was in secondary school when this happened, it was not like the ones I experienced in my primary school. My friends were respectful, and we still chat and hangout whenever there is a need to. But do take note that these changes doesn’t happen at one time. I noticed that it happened gradually and most of the times, I didn’t expect I will act certain way which I normally don’t. Then, I will have to do flashback and self-reflection to see “hey, I really did it?” I don’t think I will do this if I were to say no, I don’t think I can make it 10 years ago.
How you can do this in practical? You can use this method that I shared as a guide. Then test whether it will make sense in the story of your life.
But whatever it is, firstly is to look at yourself. Analysed your own character, understand it, be self-aware and don’t blame others about what are not doing right in your life because this is your life, you carve the path, you draw that visual in your imagination. You focused on yours. This may sound selfish but this is a long-term marathon. Anyway, we are not talking about whether you ignore someone who is in pain and need your help to bring them to the hospital because you have to help them whatever you can. We are now talking about developing your character holistically.
Then after you learn about yourself through your handwriting, you have to make sure you improve those that are the weakest link. Improving in yourself in a holistic way. I changed and improved myself during that time not only through Graphotherapy. I changed by exploring also using other methods. I attended courses that are motivational. Listen to motivational speech. Nowadays you can listen to podcasts or watch in YouTube. Go read motivational books. Learn to use positive words in the things you say such as instead of don’t forget to buy the book, I will say remember to buy the book. Use the word remember not don’t forget. Instead of saying, I try to do that, I will say okay I will do it. And many others like I shared in previous episodes.
Then, practice writing your views and opinions daily in your personal diary or your private blog. If you are frustrated, write about it. If you are lost with your thoughts, write about it. If you are not happy with someone, write about it. For me, I seldom share about my frustrations to friends because I don’t want my negative energy to spread to them and furthermore, they have their own life to take care. But if you have a friend whom you trust, why not share with them.
Once you learn about yourself, then go take a peek at your friend’s handwritings who you usually hangout with. And now it is time to learn about them.
What are the handwriting traits that you can focus on? Firstly, before that I hope at this stage you kind of already know what are the things that you are not comfortable with people including the people that will you will spend your time with. So, you have the gist of it. Mainly that would fit your character. Are you the type who likes people who talks so much? Are you the type who likes someone to dominate the group and you be the follower? Other traits like humane traits such as respectful, kind and all I believe those are what we would like to have in a person who we talk to. For me yes. I am not sure about yours.
I used to have a friend who I spent time with during when I was in secondary school. Overall wise, she is quite kind and naturally quite funny too. You may ask how I ended up spending time with her? If I remember correctly, she came to me maybe cos I am not the type to go to people to join them in a group until they invite me.
I am aware of the grouping thing but I am not sure whether it still does exist like the popular group or the nerd group. Hmmmm… I have seen these on TVs and movies but I don’t remember seeing this in real-life. Let me think… I guess maybe based on interests yes. Like I noticed a group of friends who like to hangout together because they will play soccer during recess time. Another group of girls who will be at the foyer who will chat, and they are the pretty girls whom the guys like. Another group maybe like they were best friends since secondary one. Another group like hangout in the library always. Maybe that kind. Not like the most popular group or nerd group like they featured in TV. I might have overlooked on this but yeah.
So, this friend that I used to spend time with, she has that kind of character like kind and funny. She was also good in telling stories. Like good good. I even told her many times, you should use your capabilities to write a book or a novel. She was and maybe still is very confident in creating stories like as if it was her actual life. I didn’t know this until her mum called me one day and asked me whether I knew this guy my friend always hangout with. So, when her mum told me his name and I was like errrrmmm… isn’t that her fiancé?
Since that incident, I decided to check my friend’s handwriting traits whether there are any signs of dishonesty or lying, which can be found normally on the left and right loops inside the small letters ‘O’. But, I don’t see any during that time. The only trait that was visible during that time which I concluded potentially matches her actions were the diminishing handwriting sizes, which means her handwriting size reduces towards the end of the sentences and also she has also very very low t-bar.
During that time, since I was still an evergreen with this study, I had little capabilities to derive the traits instantly. Apart from that, I had to open my eyes and heart to observe her behaviour. I was and still am not the type of person who likes to judge people based on their looks or anything. I am easily attracted to people just randomly actually. But that time, I learnt to be open to see through people. So, apart from that handwriting analysis studies, with the help of another friend of ours, she told me one thing she noticed. She said this, “Sulianah, I knew it. I feel something was not right. Her stories are too unbelievable.” Because every time she knows this friend is lying or create a story, she noticed that that friend will clear her throat like this… ehe ehem before continuing her story. Guys, I did not even noticed it. I heard that but I didn’t noticed that is a lying trait.
Well, how does this kind of friends affect me during that time? I can just act as if it was alright isn’t it? Why make a big deal out of it? Simple. I am a person who disliked talking on the phone. And every time she called me after school we will chat for more than one hour which is more of her talking. I don’t mind listening to people talking as long as it is the truth and not some stories created for the sake of the person’s fantasy. Basically, it was wasting my time, and made me really angry, and upset because I was lied to point blank. I think that is why since then, I always create a gap between me and whoever I am friends with. Unless I am in love with the person even though she is just a friend, I might take a bit of a risk to get closer but if they are just friends like spend time with together, I had the tendency to not to put in too much of my time and heart into it because I don’t want to have expectations. Depending on what you want actually.
And how did I solved that problem? I confronted her on the phone just because she repeated the story again. And of course, she denied it.
Since then, I never trust a thing she said. I will be like “ah ah ok.” But I had zero interest. Subsequently, I gave myself space from her. That was why I said earlier about clingy. She kept looking for me. We were still friends, but I never trusted her since then. So, you see how this can work out. I couldn’t deny the frustrations and anger when I realized that she lied and definitely that was not the first time.
But because I need to prioritize myself, I had to learn to leave doesn’t matter whether we spent time together for the last 2 to 3 years. You might tell me why don’t you teach her the Graphotherapy technique to change herself? Well, this technique or whatever methods there are in this world, if someone refused to realize or accept their flaws, nothing will work out. And I don’t tell people to change unless they come to me to ask me for help that they want to change. I am not here to interfere with people’s life.
And when you start to grow up and live your life, experiencing friendships with different type of people, you will realized that you will feel more confident on who you choose as your friends and you will be more particular. It is okay to be particular. Don’t be influenced with what people say like “Oh you are so petty” or “Why are you so particular?” “Why are you stressed out with you be friends with?” This is your life. You make your own decisions.
You might feel worried that what if I don’t have any friends? What if I am just out cast? A question for you.. would you rather be unhappy with people you hang out with like draggy to meet them, who disrespect you in any way doesn’t matter with words or physical, ignoring you or would you rather be at home alone spend time with yourself, read a book, watch movies alone, spend time with your family, go to movie theatres and watch movies by yourself and then when you go home you feel satisfied? Which scenario is better for you?
I am saying this based on my personal experiences. But provided that you build your own confidence because the difference is this. If you build your own self-confidence, when you are a performer which means that you are not the type of person who only talks but not put it into actions, you respect people, not arrogant, this positive energy will emit out and shown externally. And you need not worry because when for example you are now in school, and you might not have a specific group you always hangout with. There will be a group of friends who will noticed your working style and they will invite you to be in their group project. And then you will realized that, that group will be the best group you had ever worked with. They will look for you.
This happened to me many times like I said earlier, since I was in polytechnic year 2 I did not commit myself to spend time with specific groups. So, recently when I was taking my masters, I did the same too. Then one time, I was a loner which means that for a few modules I was with another group of classmates.
For one of the modules, this classmate of mine invited me and ask me whether I want to join her group. They knew me for one of the modules earlier and basically I did my own individual presentation which I was proud of with the results. And I was skeptical when she invited me because she doesn’t look friendly at all. So, I said to her, okay let me update you later. What I did was I quickly texted a classmate of mine wondering if they will be in this module, but she said they will not. So basically, I had no choice. Cos I don’t want to be in another groups also whom basically I feel like I might not match their working style. This was based on my observation. So, I said yes to this classmate of mine. I tell you something. After taking maybe 5 modules, that is the best match I had ever had. I heard from stories that she was mean to others and there was one person who told me directly about their experience with her after my experience with her and that group I was in. She was nothing like what they said. In fact, was opposite.
The first thing in a group work is to have a listening ear, and then evaluate what others suggest or said in a group, then if you don’t agree, say in a way that you accept and let us improve on it by adding something else to make it more interesting. I have worked on other modules with other groups, even though not all individuals in the groups made me or some people goes mad, but those who really behave in a way that is unpleasant usually are the ones that make the experience bad. Like I said, this one comes just naturally. She and the other teammates listens, and like I said when people listen even though they disagree to it nicely, we can accept it with an open heart. Which means that if they speak, we listen. Then say that is interesting. We can try that especially if you have no idea or solution to make it better, take the ideas in. Then along the way, change. And the results will be better presentation, smooth presentation, you will feel free to speak out. And I don’t feel that good for other modules I took in the groups. It was like so forced.
There were many scenarios that I could share here that when I analyzed throughout my life it is like there are pros and cons but when you see it in a long-run, the feelings that you want to feel out of it is important. Like this case, we get good marks for the presentation as for overall grade I had A-.
Another scenario was also during that same period when I was with another group who called me to join in the group. I worked well with one of them cos she and me basically match like I guess we like each other. But I just couldn’t match with the other two in terms of work wise. As for casual hi and byes were okay but not also casual talks basically there is no common topic that we match. Hmmm… but we are fine with physical touch. Okay, I don’t know how to categorise this. The only thing I remember about that group work is that “Urghhh another group discussions”. Coincidentally for that module there were lots of group discussions required. I told a friend of mine who is my close friends. I don’t like the term best friends seriously. Close friends too is abit like weird. It is more like I love her. So, I told this friend of mine Farah about my experiences in school and I said, yeah I had an A for that subject and my project marks were good but until now, I don’t know what the hell the project was, how it contributed to my learning and I dnt even understand what my group mates were saying. And I am not this type of person just so you know. I will normally know what is happening in the group.
Currently, you might be in this situation where you already have friends that you have been with for years. And if you are with them and love those feelings you have when you are with them, you enjoy being with them, and every time you are alone, you will smile whenever you think about those moments with them, they treat you well, they think about you and you think about them, when they speak, they will think before they speak just to make sure it doesn’t hurt your feelings and opinions, and when you speak to them, you think the same too, you are always excited to meet them, they are too and looking forward to meet you, they are not selfish and are generous in giving you the love and time, listen to you and you listen to them. Then you should appreciate them and those moments with them. Be grateful that you have those friends or those people in your life because that love and bond you have with them are natural and not by forced.
However, if you have the opposite symptoms like “Urgghhh what excuses should I give today just so I can avoid going out with them?” Or you have to tell yourself to be patience when they speak something that is hurtful to you but you don’t want to tell them off? Or when you said secrets is a secret, don’t tell the person first but then the person tell. Or voice raising in a rude way but while I am saying this, I feel like raising voice in any way is not right though. If you have any problem or dissatisfaction with someone, if you value them, you should talk it out in person not to raise voice and scold them. I feel like that is certainly a no go for me.
Or symptoms like they keep talking and talking, and when it is your turn to speak, they will insert their stories in? And when you ended up having to say to them this, “Stop listen let me speak first”… this is one of those signs that you have to evaluate whether is it even worth it to tell them what you need to say because they might not even care. I mean some of these might happen in 10 or 30% during that relationship but I feel like there is always limit to being patience. My personal limit sometimes can reach to 10 years until it became too much that I will always take the risk to let go especially when I realized that when too much is too much.
When you finally get to learn about yourself, and appreciate your self-worth, and what you need in a friend, you will not be worried to leave the friendship and stop yourself from hanging out with the person. You need to be brave and know your worth.
Just so you know, I had done this so far, twice with those I used to be close with and friends for a decade. When I said close means spent time like at least once a month for dinner for 3 hours but I didn’t share that much about myself cos as expected I don’t trust some people to tell about myself and in this case I was right, and this time I did make wise decisions.
And another one was with the friend I talked about earlier.
What I want to say here is that, you have a choice. Don’t tell yourself you don’t have a choice.
Before I end this episode, these are some ways that I had tried and usually I did to prepare myself and maybe not to have too high expectations of others.
Normally, I will glance at my friends’ handwriting just so I know how to speak to them and learn to listen to them. For instance, certain people will speak fast, others will take time to process what we say, one or two will tell the story from head to tail or others like me will go straight to the end story because I feel like people have short attention span.
One of these traits can be seen from the surface of the small letters ‘m’ and ‘n’. Whether it is sharp, rounded. From there, I will learn how to manage my listening skills and be aware to tell myself please be patience and shut your mouth and listen. Because, I had observed that some friends will ignore this person and decided to lose their attention and look another way. For me, what I did was to listen and make sure there is eye contact, and then I will ask questions related to the subject. You have to show interest in communicating and socializing. This is how you build your rapport, that is also being respectful which I will talk more in Season 2. But in any point of time, if you see me outside doing the opposite of this to a person, means I might be in a mode when I am teaching that person a lesson to have some manners.
You can also see from the small letters ‘e’ whether is there any hole in the small letter ‘e’. If there is no hole, this person is a selective listener. If it is consistent in the handwriting, you can expect that this person is a selective listener. You can expect that they will switch their ears off when you are talking at some point.
Then, other areas that you can look into when learning to understand a person will be how they foresee situations, how they perceive unexpected changes in life, how they look at their problems. Check their baselines whether are they declining downwards or in the upwards direction? Declining downwards baseline are more towards negative perspectives when there are new changes in life for instance. Or sometimes they could be in a disappointment stage. If they look so upset everytime you meet them, and don’t want to speak about it, have a check on their handwriting baseline. Make sure it is written on an unlined paper.
Then from there, you can confirm whether your observation is correct. And subsequently, if you think it is the right time to ask “Is everything okay”, and “If you need help or anything you can talk to me”.. go ahead with it. Checking baselines is one of a must when analysing handwritings.
I was doing a search for handwriting examples from celebrities for one of my presentations years ago, and I found two samples of handwritings of two authors. They are no longer around just in case you might be speculating who I am talking about. One author, he had a downward baseline, and the other author has an upward ascending baseline. Then, I read about their background including the types of books they wrote. The one with the upward baseline, just from the book cover, it shows colours, bright, joyful vibes even with the title of the books. While the other one, shows more like darkness, disappointments, gloomy that kind of vibes. According to the story written about them, the second one did not have a good life. He suffered from depression and sadly he ended his own life. You can check out the pictures of these two handwritings on my website and YouTube channel. I will upload it soon.
As for someone who has a moderate upwards baseline, as long as it is not at an extreme angle, it signifies how they are optimistic in their way of thinking and overcoming the challenges. Friends with straight baselines, you can expect that they are more calm when experiencing struggles or when they are in panic situations.
There are different ways to approach this. You can use handwriting analysis to search for a friend that suits you which for me is not that practical I can say because I have no idea how you would ask a stranger to write, and you see whether they are compatible with you.
Another approach is when you already know the person from school, from work, from the same office building, your neighbour, a friend of your friend, from internet including matchmaking apps and agencies, then you can start to speak to the person and then if you like them, find out about them through their handwriting, through when you speak with them, open your eyes, mind and heart and observe.
We offered comprehensive graphology report which is one of the services I offered has this section which will tell you about the type of person suitable for you, actually I will not tell you the type of person or their occupation, I will highlight more on the character of the other person. For instance, you will be compatible with someone who puts words into actions. It will balance yours and theirs together to reduce the conflicts and arguments. You will be compatible with those who are disciplined and follows time management and planning instead of those who don’t. Then, you will tell me isn’t that what everyone wants. Yeah true but not everyone though. Some people don’t mind if their friends don’t care about being on-time, some people don’t care their partners only preach but no actions. Because these are not their priorities.
What I normally do is, I rely on the first instincts, whether the person fits me based on the energy between us, our common interests, how we behave, respect towards each other, then when our friendship goes one or two steps to the category of possibilities of friends I am going to spend time with, I will then see their handwriting to understand them more.
So, what do you need to do now? I suggest you to go read up. Check out these books. I started reading these books which was found in my dad’s library when I was in my teenage years. It was written by Dale Carnegie, how to make friends and influence people. And this book which I told my dad to buy for me during that time, Making Friends by Andrew Matthews. They talked about how to listen in conversations, managing tone of voice, and when you have these, you will automatically charm and attract the right people especially if you know at the back of your mind what you need and what you want, what kind of character in a person that you can or cannot stand or who you would like to be with.
Meanwhile, I will end this episode here. Thank you for listening again.
To watch this recorded podcast, and any videos summarizing the process related to this podcast, anything to do with handwriting analysis and behind the scenes videos, you can visit our YouTube channel or visit www.grapholistic.com.
You can also get your handwriting analysed at a reasonable rate as affordable as $99 for personal analysis or for corporate employees. Check the options available from our website www.grapholistic.com.
At the meantime, take care wherever you are. I will see you in the next episode.