GRAPHOLOGY | HANDWRITING AND CHARACTERS ANALYSIS FOR PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT AND EVENTS - GRAPHOLISTIC INTERNATIONAL
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​Grapholistic Podcast Transcripts

​Season 1 Episode 2
(Phase 1) The Tick

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The first phase to the journey of building your self-esteem is The Tick. The tick is the self-realization, self-awareness of what you want, what you need and what you are looking for in your life for yourself apart from the daily routines that you have to go through. This is when you set your goals for yourself, and path your way through it. The part where you will be more motivated to wake up every morning and move forward. 
 
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Hi everyone.
 
Welcome back to Grapholistic Podcast. I hope you have been doing great.
 
In this episode we will go in further to explore what is in Phase 1. If you recall the last episode, there are five phases which I mentioned. Today we will talk more about this, for Phase 1. 

This tick which is that feeling of realization you have as I mentioned earlier was something that will bring you to the next stage. With this realization, it will actually support you throughout the entire phases in building your self-esteem and other personality traits.
 
There are ways to explore this phase into a deeper level. This is considered like a self-realization.
 
Firstly, let us start by imagining it first. Imagine what you want for yourself. Anything including the material aspect of it. For instance, if you would like to own a BMW or a 3-storey house, imagine it that in your mind. If you would like to have a happy family where you want attention from your parents who are too busy with their work and don’t have time to spend with you, imagine what you want from them. If you want to be in a certain position in the company you are working at now, imagine what it is and why.
 
Like I mentioned for example, when the first time I realized this phase was when I was in primary 6. The only thing that I wanted was to pass my PSLE, so go to the first choice of the secondary school I wanted to be in, be in the normal academic stream and leave my primary school and friends. That was like my imagination or my target during that time.
 
Now the second step is to write it down. Get a new diary or notebook with the cover design you like. Make this book as your personal use to write all these and anything later including your plans and all.
 
When you write it down, write it clearly. In recent years, I learnt that when we write goals, include the emotions that you would like to feel. I don’t remember I wrote any of that when I was in primary 6. So, since I learn new things and it works, I am sharing with you now to include the feelings you would like to feel when you manage to attain those goals of yours such as when you own that BMW what would you like to feel? When you get to be the first student in school for your O Levels, what do want yourself to feel? When you start your first day at the company of your choice, your company of your dreams, what do you want to feel?
 
This is important because most of the time once you achieved something which you want, do you realize that your heart feels empty. Like you don’t feel anything. You do want that, don’t you?  
 
What I am doing nowadays when I write what I want from my imagination, I will include these optimistic words. Hold on, I will share with you an example.
 
For instance, “I am so happy and satisfied that my 100,000 YouTube subscribers tells me that they find these contents helpful for them. The comments are like they appreciate that it has been guiding them to be grateful about themselves. They feel motivated now than before.”
 
See how I used simple, positive, and detailed words in my sentences. I learned something about details over the years. At times, I wanted something but I was not specific of what I wanted. Like for instance, I want to travel because it has been my dreams to travel around the world since I was like in secondary school. Yeah then, having that dream is positive but the word travelling is general. It could be to Malaysia, across the borders nearby you which I have been too many times. So, what do I mean by that? Then I decided to make it specific. Instead of using travelling in general, I rephrase the word in my diary, Travel to Alaska in Feb 2018 for winter. Travel to Russia in Feb 2019 for winter. Just put the names and the dates. Well, I successfully did it. And then I repeat the same for all my travel plans. Include the dates and specific location if there is any.
 
And if you noticed I wrote it in a way that it is already achieved. With this, it brings us to the third step of how to write this goal. I learnt this quite recently which is to write goals like as if we have already achieved it. They called it the manifestation of your goals.
 
I will give you some of the successful examples that I am really excited to share with you just so that you will be motivated to try this. Like I mentioned earlier, these phases are used to throughout my life. Meaning it is on repeat.
 
When I was in secondary school, starting from secondary one, my ambition became more active. I was more motivated than before to do more than just going to school. I started to think about my future aims in life. I think it is because of my exposure to books, novels and the characters in the novels which are aside from their love life, I am intrigued when they studied in university or when they travel and when they are successful in their career. Then I wanted to do something for myself.
 
Since then, everything I write it down. Including what I would like to do everyday. Like small goals everyday such as to complete reading half of this novel, finish editing my Vlog episode 1 or clean my room. Those are like small goals. Everytime I am done with it, I will cross it off. Crossing it off sounds like an unnecessary step but you will realized at the end of the day that you will look forward to your next day. That simple action is actually a satisfaction and motivator. 
 
The fourth step is to say it out loud. What I meant to say it out loud here is not to tell the whole world, your friends, or your family members. If you want to tell them is up to you. This is a conversation with yourself.
 
So, every day, after prayers since I was at that age 15, what I did was I will tell God to give me the ease which means make it easy to achieve my dreams that is to get my diploma, degree, masters and study till PhD. I want to achieve those in my life.
 
By the way, I am not the type to tell my friends my goals even though how close I am with them. I just don’t feel comfortable telling them anything. The only person normally I will share my goals or plans with is my dad because he is more open-minded and will always encourage me to try it.
 
There are 3 reasons I don’t share my plans or goals to my close friends. Firstly, is because, my mum did remind me before when I was young that there is no need to share with people about yourself. Because sometimes they don’t really want to know. And it will sound like a show-off.
 
Secondly, personally, I feel like every time I tell someone how excited I am about a plan, something not right will happen. Either the plan will be cancelled, or I will fall sick. For instance, there was one time I told my late grandmother that I was so excited to travel to Indonesia with my parents and she told me don’t be too excited. You will fall sick there. I understood now it is something to do with what we have registered in our subconscious. Because I believe that will happen, so it will happen. But whenever I travelled to other countries, I will not tell my friends.
 
Lastly the reason, is because I have tried telling my story once in a while to one or two friends and they ended up telling about their own story. So basically, I don’t think people generally are really interested to know about me which I understand and don’t mind though. They have their own life. Well…  so that is what I learnt on the way. But I do once in awhile share with my closest friends whom I trust abit more than others what I planned. But normally not too detailed.
 
So, if you are planning to share your stories and plans to the people surrounding you just be cautious.
 
Okay back to the use of words and saying it out loud. Remember the words that I used when I pray and still am using is “please give me.” I didn’t ask for permission from God. I said that I want these and please make it easier for me to do it.
 
Whatever your religion is, try to use this method too in your prayers if you have not. I use the words God here is because that is what I literally do in real life but if you are someone who don’t believe in one, you can use your own methods to speak to that entity you always do. When I speak to God in my prayers, I speak to myself too both consciously and subconsciously. I am training myself to register it at the back of my mind.
 
Try to use this method even when being with friends or going out with people. Whenever the relationship is going to be the next step to be more serious than just friends, I will do the same. It is not only about my goal, studies or career. If the person is for you, make it easier but if not, pls don’t waste both of your time and his or hers.
 
The keywords in talking to yourself, your God is to tell and not ask. Cos sometimes after you ask a question, and you are given the signs as an answer, you will still not noticed it. I have asked and sometimes given signs for years but I still didn’t realize it. And I didn’t know that is the sign and I had to breakdown the code.
 
I did try to use words like a permission, I felt heavy most of the time when I used it. It does not solve any of my problems. I will give you some interesting examples. There was one moment around in the year 2007, I wanted to continue my degree while working full-time, that was after about 5 years I had graduated from my diploma.
 
I kept asking God in my prayers and also asking myself is it good for me to continue my studies now or shouldn’t I because I remember I don’t have enough savings of like $32,000 to pay for the school fees. Well, it didn’t help me though. I stayed stuck with that decision. Then one day, nearly more that 6 months I was stucked with that situation, something just ticked in me. I decided that I really wanted to continue my studies. Then during one of my prayers, what I did was, I told God that I want to continue my studies and take my degree, and I need help in solving the issue of paying for my school fees.
 
Guess what guys, you will be surprised what happened next. I don’t know whether I should categorise this as miracle because I told my dad about this plan and I told him how much I have and whether I should apply for bank loan which I don’t really want to because of the interest and the long-term payment I have to pay. He didn’t want me to apply loan too. Then I didn’t expect him to say, he will help me pay first. Then, I was like okay that is great as long as not affecting his saving, but I will pay him monthly, $500 from my salary which was at that time my monthly income was about $1,800 and it will take me about 5 or 6 years to pay everything. I know the concept of parents should have paid for their children school fees, but I decided to not burden my dad. So, I told him that I will pay him back. That is how it happened just like in 1 or 2 days it is all settled.
 
And this process so far it works for me. So, I used it on repeat. 

I experienced the same thing in 2017 when I wanted to continue my Masters. Same process of whether I should continue taking my masters or not because my plan was divided into, I wanted to migrate to another country, study in overseas or find another job instead. I was stuck with weirder and more vast roadblocks that I had created myself. If I am not wrong, I was stuck for nearly 2 years trying to decide whether I should take my Masters now..
 
Then my ex-colleague who is now a friend of mine, Hans bought for me a GRE book so that I can take the entry exam to those courses. Before that I did took a GMAT, but I didn’t really put in any effort into it so as expected I didn’t pass. Initially, I applied for Masters in Psychology everywhere including my own country, but I didn’t get any responses. This was during that 2 stuck years when I still could not decide.
 
Then again, one day, that same kind of tick and feeling came into me. I did the same process, tell God that I am doing this and make it easy for me. That kind of sentences.
 
Next day, yeah I know next day is fast. It was an immediate decision which is within less than 2 hours. I searched online for Masters in Marketing in Google and the first results was NTU MSc MCI came into the picture. I read through it and immediately submitted my application online. This time, money was not really an issue for me. I have the money of $42k to pay for my school fees during that time only that part of me was hoping that there will be more money just so after using this I still can live my life buying anything I wanted, travel and not limiting my spending just to pay for my school fees. I have experienced those moment before and don’t want to repeat it again. And of course, eventually, the money part is settled, again. I no need to worry about it anymore.
 
You may ask why I decided to take the marketing course instead of the psychology maybe because my timing is not right. Okay, firstly, my degree was a double major in marketing and psychology. At the back of mind, I knew that if I were to apply to masters in any business related major, my application would have been accepted long ago even by NYU or the universities in Australia and Canada which I had applied. And I believed that because I was still stuck with my decisions, I do not want to apply for it first.
 
Secondly, I remember that I did told my ex-classmates who are now my close friends, my degree psychology lecturer and also myself that I will never want to take psychology again because it was so tough.  I guessed if I really wanted to take my psychology masters again, I have to reverse those words.
 
So, after submitting my application for my masters in marketing and consumer insights, a day later I received an email from NTU inviting me to an interview with the professor. Next 2 days I received confirmation email that I was selected to be part of the course.
 
Okay, you see how this works. The seed that I planted was when I was 13 years old. And then gradually, it grows, and I could pluck the flowers or fruits stage by stage throughout my life.  I will not have any idea regarding the process that I will go through to achieve those. I let it play its own story. For instance, the money I got to pay for my studies. It was like a miracle happening right in front of me. But it wasn’t. I don’t want to categorise that as a miracle. God give me what I wanted and what I had pathed throughout my journey.
 
Because you see, everything that you do, the core step is you have to self-reflect whether that is really really what you want and what exactly you feel about yourself. Because everything is already there in yours and your subconscious. It is how you tap it out. Sometimes people do talk to me, Oh maybe I should save money to travel like you. Is that the first thing that you want to do?
 
When you have all these in your mind, and your plan, you will naturally attract the things surrounding you that will lead you to this goal. When you do something such as reading a book, automatically, you will be inclined to read books that would make your journey to your goals more meaningful. You will automatically attract people and friends who will make your life easier to reach your goals. Take not those who does not fit to be in your life at that moment such as will make you think negatively about yourself, or who prefers to talk about the past will automatically distanced themselves.
 
And anytime, you ever feel down, demotivated to move on, you will meet random strangers who will smile to you and make your day, who will tell you about themselves who nearly give up when they were younger but decided to move on and that is their best decision they have ever made. Within seconds, you will be motivated and forget about what you are worried about and then you will decide to move on and move forward.
 
Talking about the topic of subconscious, there is this book which an ex-colleague of mine, Ramesh, shout out to him, who gave me as my farewell gift last year. The book title is The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy. Read this. It was explained in a simple way and based on true events. He explores on how subconscious mind works and how we can learn to use our subconscious mind in finding, setting and achieving our goals including the simplest thing such as solving our problems, finding the things we misplaced at our home. Read this. I will only recommend books that could make a difference on the way you think and perceive life. This is one of those books.
 
Alright guys, we have looked into the four steps on how to self-reflect and what to do when you already have that tick in you but you have no idea how to move forward with it.
 
In order to add value to what you have listened in this podcast, try it for yourselves. These entire phases are the process to building your personality and self-esteem.
 
This process is also helpful when you realized that you have no motivation to move forward in achieving your goals, in your journey and in waking up and doing the things you need to do daily.
 
This will help you when you don’t have the energy to work and you find that every day, your mornings, your noons and nights seems like you are just doing the same routine and that pissed off with everything around you.
 
And when you implement this whole-heartedly, try to share it with those who needs to be motivated. You will not know when someone needs it and how it can make a difference to a person. 

In the next episode, we will look into Phase 2 which is changing our bad habits. All these episodes are connected which means that I might not mention some steps in episode 1 again because it will be confusing for you, but I will tell you more about the other part of the journey behind phase 1. 

Meanwhile, I will end this episode here. Thank you for listening. I will see you in next episode.

 
To watch this recorded podcast, and any other videos such as behind the scenes and handwriting analysis and anything related to this podcast you can visit our YouTube channel or visit www.grapholistic.com
 
Take good care of yourself. Goodbye.


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​The Tick by S.Sulianah | Grapholistic Podcast

​The Tick is the first step of your journey in building your self-esteem. It is that feeling of realization telling you that there is something you need to do which is more than live in this world. 

That tick in your heart could also be a feeling that there is something within you that you need to change or improve. Self-realization with efforts, determination and willpower will and did paid off.

FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
Instagram @ctsulianah23 @grapholistic05
Website www.grapholistic.com

Listen to Grapholistic Podcast on Spotify, Apple, Google, Anchor and all other platforms.

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Podcast Transcripts are available at https://lnkd.in/gUWG65d
YouTube Live Recorded Video - https://bit.ly/3wXrtqv
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