Criticisms. The expression of others’ perspectives of that might hurt your feelings, offensively haunt you and miffed you every day. You weep at night thinking about it. Agitate you at any second of distractions. Bitterly vengeful.
Those words that hurt your feelings and haunt every corner of your thoughts.
You will keep thinking whether you are actually that person he/she had said.
Questions that kept clouding your thoughts. “Is he blind to criticize me that way? He thinks he is good enough that he could say I am like that? Who do you think he is? I know better than him!”
Criticizing someone seems to be much easier than to endure the effects of being criticized. Normally, we will not realize that we had criticized or bring down a person. However, if you are the victim, you will notice it.
If you are the person who is providing the feedbacks or the person who criticize, how can you detect the reaction of the person you were talking to? Normally, you can observe by the change in his facial expressions instantly. His smile will fade. He might start fidgeting and started to be uncomfortable in his position, or could be tapping his finger on the table.
As a criticizer, you have to be sensitive on the receiver’s response. Stop the conversation if you find that it could lead to an argument or violence. Most of the time, you could sense it. On the other hand, if the person seems to be able to accept it, maintain your tone and momentum of respect. Speak with diplomacy to avoid appearing as though you are pinpointing the negative aspects of his personality. Speak with respect and you will receive a more positive response out of it. If you are in a position to instruct, you can show a mild and subtle leadership firm appraisal or suggestions. Raise your voice only if you need to. Be patient when you deal with people.
If you feel that you are not able to speak with diplomacy, learn and find out on how to communicate effectively. You can be blunt, but be blunt charismatically. Check out books such as ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ by Dale Carnegie and ‘Making Friends’ by Andrew Matthew. The writers had highlighted areas which we might not notice our weak points in communication. Dale Carnegie mentioned about how we can handle people. People want us to be interested in them. To avoid hatred, we have to be tactful and communicate what you have in mind and feelings with diplomacy.
Check whether you are diplomacy or not through your handwriting. Check your letter ‘m’. The second hump should be written lower than the first hump.
In a scenario as the person who is being criticized.
How to handle it? Firstly, we should learn how to appreciate ourselves. Learn from experiences when we communicate with people. It will build up our self-confidence and strength to handle issues and others’attitude.
When someone criticizes us, if we think itis not right, just hold on to your thoughts and angst. Instantly analyze ourselves. If he is telling you in a nice way with respect and you disagree, respond intelligently. You can keep it to yourself first and reflect it back later. Some feedbacks are constructive which might be good for you. However, if you think that person was merely exaggerating and accusing, you can approach him the next day and clear it with him. Do not ever lose your temper unnecessarily.
On the other situation, what if the other person is criticizing us like Simon Cowell did in national TV? First of all, why do you have to join that kind of competitions if you are not prepared to be criticized in public? This explains in reality, why do you have to say something that opens the door for someone to comment negatively about you if you are not prepared.
If you have a arge loop stem for your lower case ‘d’ or ‘t’, please mind what you say when you socialize. If you cannot accept feedbacks or jokes that might hurt you, avoid saying something that leads to someone hurting you with their vicious words. Mind what you speak.
What you can do to your ‘d’ and ‘t’? The d-loop relates to our sensitivity in accepting criticism related to appearance. While’t’loop signifies our sensitivity related to ideas or philosophies.
With the application of Grahotherapy, this is what you can do. Flatten and close the loops the next time you write your ‘t’ and ‘d’. Consistently practice that.
When you apply this technique, set it in your mind that you are doing this to improve yourself and accept positively any criticisms that come along. Tell yourself that you will manage and handle it well without negatively affecting you and lose your confidence.
On the other hand to complement with this, improve on self-esteem. Do not degrade yourself. Apply Graphotherapy –Place your t-bar above the middle zone, do not exceed over the stem. You will be more assured of your own capabilities and strengths. On the highlights, you will be able to manage any negative external influence with confidence.
When you are able to accept criticisms and feedbacks from people, you will learn a lot. Sometimes is not about what they said about you, it is about how you learn to strengthen your character, be firm and bullet-proof.
It does not mean that you will not feel hurt after you change those traits in your handwriting. However, you will be less sensitive when someone said something about you that you disagree. At a certain point of time, you will know what to ignore and what to accept for improvement.
These changes will gradually inhibit in you subtly. Observe and you will see the improvements.
Wish you all the best, and root in your mind that you can own what you wish for as long as you believe you can!!