How to be Happy ... and also Smart (when in less positive surrounding) | Grapholistic | S.Sulianah

I have written this how to be happy is because of how this seems to be a hot topic and everyone has different experiences and lifestyle that might or might not find this practical. The ones that I listed here and talk about in my podcast, Grapholistic Podcast is to motivate individuals to have the courage to realize that they have this happiness within themselves. It is all in there without the need to search for it. Inhibited within you. You only need to bring it out from your within.

Firstly, is to be self-aware of your own character and personality. The main step to realizing and knowing about yourself. What you like and the triggers that could test your patience. Learning about your character is part of this step which will take some time for you to be comfortable with who you are which can also be  a defense mechanism for you when you encounter with challenges in your life. 

Secondly is be aware of the surrounding which means that you have to be there in your life to self-reflect on the presence around you including other living environment such as the trees, animals, insects and humans. These could then develop you to feel at peace and also know that you are not alone. 

Thirdly, this is such a sensitive part to highlight but I find that it has been a pattern and consistent in my life when with people. This is about trust. Trusting someone and also being a person who is trustworthy.

Sometimes, you feel like you can trust strangers more than your family or friends because you know that hardly you will see them again. They might share your story to others but high probability those are not the people you know. Recently, I encountered with a situation on trust and I responded it in a way that those group of friends did not anticipate. I am considered a person with patience, like I can stand and close one eye with remarks or comments that are unpleasant to me for years or for decades. It is not healthy but some things that I don't see everyday, I can mold it to be in the unnecessary category in my life.

So, recently, which is a couple months ago, there was this situation when I told this friend (@Emma) not to tell another friend (@Maya) first about the t-shirt which Maya gifted us because I couldn't fit in. I planned to actually take the design and make it into a t-shirt of my size so I can wear it later. Specifically, I told her not to tell first because I do not want to hurt Maya's feelings. And guess what.. she told Maya. That was like the first within that month she broke my trust. Frankly, and luckily I did not tell her any of my secrets or about me since we were friends. Well, my guts and instinct seems to have good signals.

Then, subsequently, she did the similar thing by telling the same person about something else. I totally forgotten about her character which was told by a mutual friend about 20 years ago, how she is a person who has a big mouth and not to be trusted. Like I said, I prefer not to judge a person by someone else's experience. And when it happened to me, it was something else. I was patience too in the first instance, until something else happened right after that which pinned my bubble of patience. This in fact surprisingly, did affect my happiness during that time. I was fine until this happened. But I could feel the friction on our last two gathering. I am a sensitive person in this way which I could feel if something is not right about a person or when I am with another person. The story to learn here is it doesn't matter how long you have known a person. But once they break your trust, you have to make sure you do something to it instead of being in that relationship and 'try to endure it'.

About 20 years ago, a friend who I used to hangout with did the same too broke my trust with her fantasy story. And I did the same. Confronted her, she denied but that doesn't stopped me from leaving the friendship and not to waste my time to hang around with her. And again, it was another gut feeling that proves to me that my reaction was a right step. Because recently, she did say something which I made sure I did not say it out loud to her throughout our friendship. Well, this time, it was totally a cut-off. But this time it was about respect which I also talked about in my podcast. 

My type of person is once I am committed to leaving, I will do 100% and never turning back. If you have friends like me or whoever in your life like this, don't take it lightly and take advantage. If you want people to respect you, make sure you respect them first. 

Also, learn to build this trustworthy character within you. It is actually a charm and an exemplary character that could make people be comfortable with you and be with you. I have people who told me secrets and I have never told anyone even when we don't keep in touch anymore. Some friends had told me that they are inclined to chatting with me because of how I can keep secrets and stories. And yes, this is one of the communication skills that you need to start to build because it is a principled trait for personal and business use. 

Forth, stop comparing yourself with others. Doesn't matter in what perspective be sure that you focus on yourself instead of others which includes your siblings and friends. That is why the first step is so important which is the foundation. When I was about 10 to 12 years old, my mom used to compare me with my best friend who was also my neighbor during that time. Then, when I was about 16 or 17 years old, she started to do the same again with someone else and I told her if you like that person so much, you can take her as your daughter. Since then, she did not even mentioned or compare me with anyone. 

Fifth, please please remember to appreciate and be grateful with your accomplishments. Be grateful and whenever you attained something in your life, reward yourself. It could be small tasks or goals that you have set in a day-to-day basis or it could be the large scale goals. As long as you remember to give yourself a pat on your shoulder and congratulate yourself, you will be motivated to live your life everyday. Rely on yourself and not on others to congratulate you. 

Well these points are the ones that I can remember at the moment and also the ones that I am experiencing in my life which I find it practical to share. At anytime, something else struck me, I will keep you updated. Enjoy the video! 

SUMMARY POINTS:

1) Be Self-Aware. Learn to observe your own behavior and feelings. 
2) Be aware of your surrounding
3) Sometimes keeping opinions to yourself is better than telling others. Why?
4) Stop comparing with others
5) Appreciate and be grateful of each and every of your accomplishments.

Listen more on Grapholistic Podcast
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