Author: S.Sulianah (Graphologist and Founder of Grapholistic International)
Your Handwritings and Characters Analyst www.grapholistic.com
If you are wondering, why am I including fickle-mindedness in the list of traits that could hinder your self-esteem and development, and how could it possibly influence your self-esteem?
Apart from the self-criticism trait that was highlighted in the earlier episode, the fickle-minded trait will make you questioned yourself and continuously changing your decisions. It shows how you are not confident with your perspectives, opinions and even your own analysis. It tells you and of course the other people that you are working with or living with, that you have no idea why you had even made that decisions in the first place. Furthermore, this trait will not only lower the perception you have towards yourself and diminish the confidence to make decision on your own, it will also affect your relationship with others. When you constantly decide in an erratic way, it will be unpleasant and irritating to those people who are affected by your indecision. Gradually, you will create distrusts. Those people who you are dealing with will questioned not only your leadership, most importantly your credibility and reliability. What could be the possible causes of someone being fickle-minded?
To begin with, being inconsistent and unsure when making decisions can happen when you have no idea what is going on. Or even if you do, you may not be sure about that subject or could be that you do not have any experiences dealing in that kind of situations.
Because you were not sure, you might be worried that “What if your decision could affect the entire team in a wrong way, or even tear apart the whole plan?” Well, those worries are valid. Like for instance, your team is trying to save someone from drowning. The first step probably is to dive straight to the lake which you had instructed. But then suddenly someone saw an alligator. In this case, clearly you need to change the decision by probably getting a boat or rope instead of diving straight ahead to help. Changing decision like in this case is understandable. The kind of fickle decisions which could make you doubt yourself, or people to doubt your reliability is when you keep changing your 'final decisions' solely relying on others’ opinions. For instance, you have decided with your team to fix those ceiling lights in your office. As usual, you had instructed your staff to source for suppliers and purchase those lights. Once you received the delivered items 2 weeks later, out of nowhere one of your friends who came to visit you in the office suggested you change the lights to bulb instead of LED. You decided to listen to your friend’s opinion even though you had spent hours deciding with your staff that LED is less costly for your office monthly electricity expenses. You listened to a friend who was not involved in the decision-making and has no idea what is going on. The point is you rely on external inputs, wasting time and money. You did not even stop to think about it yourself. From your position you might not realized that your behavior is evident to your staff clearly showing how you are not confident with your own decisions and could easily be influenced. It is worst if this is not your first time.
Because of the way he make decisions, employees do not trust him. They may look like they listened but in fact once they get out of the meeting, they let it go. It was not a surprise when employees could not handle it anymore that they decided to leave. Being fickle in small decisions for your personal one person situations may not affect anyone but if you are working in an organization, doesn’t matter whether you lead a team or not, the way you think, respond and when taking actions will impact you and other groups of people in a larger scale.
So, how can you make changes in the way you think?
How to check the handwriting for fickle or inconsistent thinking and decision-making?
What can you do if you have these handwriting traits?
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Author: S.Sulianah (Graphologist and Founder of Grapholistic International) Your Handwritings and Characters Analyst www.grapholistic.com INTRODUCTION TO CASE STUDYHaving a highly effective project manager in your company is an asset. It will determine the success of not only your company’s business but also the environment and relationship between your employees in your workplace. As simple as when a project manager refused to listen and analyse your operational staff’s feedback or findings. Not letting the team members know the project manager is there when they need to talk, which could gradually build frustrations. Like a domino effect, the progressive feelings of abandonment and non-inclusive will develop in your employees. CASE STUDY OBJECTIVEThis case study is an excerpt from my soon to be published book under the HR and Management Series. This study is focused on human behavior and how a character trait could influence individual’s decision-making, thinking pattern, observation, communication with colleagues, perspectives, the way they speak, the way they think, outlook towards their personal goals and their reliability in a business setting. In addition to that, this study had also used the science of handwriting analysis to study their personality, characters, behaviors and possible cause and effect, if any, during the course of my observation and analysis. The case analysis is a comprehensive long-term account with evidence in a corporate business organisation setting. It was an analysis of one of the senior project managers for a period of 13 years, which is significant in the connection with the other case studies in this series. ProfileProject Manager, Scott (Not real name) About 20 years of work experience In his mid-30s Scott has been working in the engineering field for over 20 years with experiences as an engineer and as of this present day, a project manager. The first impression I had of Scott is his sweet smile, approachable and reliable. As a human resource manager during my years in the company, one of the suggestions I would recommend to my former director was to bring him to any of the meetings with clients if there is a need to. Not only because he has years of experience with the company and exposure to deal with clients in that industry, but Scott could also adapt to the surrounding, respectful and know what to say and what not to in a formal setting. EXPRESSING FEELINGS AND THOUGHTSIf you have read the first case study of the senior project manager, Lewis, who tend to keep his feelings and opinions to himself, Scott is the complete opposite of his senior. This is to the extent of his facial expression. Even if the message that he is going to tell you is not bad news or something to be bitter about, he will still express his feelings with a scowl. In the earlier years when we were working together, whenever he came to my room or when he approached me to tell me something, he will look like as if he wanted to start a confrontation, disagreeing with whatever he had in mind. How did I dealt with this?Since I knew I will be working with him for a long time, and would not prefer to be annoyed everytime, I had told him frankly what I think about the way he presented himself. And added that his behaviour was encouraging me to vent my displeasure at him, which is not a good practice for both of us. So, as for with me, he did change the way he spoke to me, but with the others he still continued the same. How about when he is giving instruction to the technicians or junior engineers in his team?
The sharp end strokes also signifies his frustrations towards others, be it in his personal life or in the professional settings. In terms of expressing himself, Scott usually never hides these feelings. And he will let it out and the one who is unlucky during that moment will meet with his wrath. TRUSTING OTHERS Scott is in the level of 10 out of 10 in the spectrum when trusting others. To begin with, since he makes his selections based on how he feels about someone, his choices are more towards who he favors. I was a witness to his real life examples a handful of times over the 13 years how he got cheated by others for his 'generosity' and anything similar to that. And there were no way he will listened to anyone's advice to not trust that person. I clearly remembered one day after lunch, he told me that he had informed one of the technicians about a case which is supposedly to be a confidential between the two of us. I told him that “I don’t trust that guy at all and are you sure he will not share with anyone?” My analysis of that person was a compendium of my observation of his character, personality, body language and behaviour over 5 years, which includes my instincts. It was also the reason I never agreed in recruiting him in the first place. At that time, Scott responded to me with “You are overthinking”. Guess what happened three weeks after that conversation? This technician who was supposed to return after visiting his hometown did not come back to the office at all. And the worst part was that Scott had lent him about $20,000 before he left the country with a reason that he needed the money for his dad’s operation. Later that week, Scott found out that the staff’s dad was fine and never was hospitalized. I had written more in-depth about lending and borrowing money in my book Be Brave: Uncensored Motivational Quotes. Highlighted in the book are the possible reasons why you tend to let yourself lent your hard-earned money to others. One of the root causes is the need for acceptance by others. In Scott’s case, this is not his first time trusting someone. I had the chance to ask him the reasons he tend to commit himself into others’ misery. Most of his responses were related to how he sympathized with their conditions. But because I was quite concerned with Scott’s ignorance, I asked him again “Do they really need it? If they do need it for to survive, they will not be able to spend their hard-earned salary on beers enjoying themselves during happy hours and weekends every week.” As a human resource manager during that time, I was also concerned about how Scott viewed this situation. He also mentioned about their relationships. If he did not lend them the money, they will not listen to his instructions. A wrong equation and perception on Scott’s part. So, what I noticed over the years was how Scott’s insecurity gradually impacted his final decisions and the way he treated himself and others. He will put in effort to exert his authority without even caring whether the other person is a technician, his senior or someone who does not even report to him.
The low t-bar is supported with a striking off signature that added to the intensity of this trait. Out of concern, I had advised him a number of times to get rid of the strike off on his signature because the intensity of the way he treated himself and the kind of words he speaks to himself were becoming more evident. DECISION-MAKING
There were many occasions that I had to not rely on his views and appraisals of the staff who were working in projects with him. Usually, project managers will be asked to appraise their team members’ performances in which their feedback will affect the staff’s yearend bonus, and salary increments. However, for the staff under Scott’s teams, I had to do my own personal observation and analysis. Why is that so? Scott evaluation changes at an extensive degree that his feedback became an unreliable source of information. For instance, today he will comment about the technician working with him in Project A as someone who will not listen to his instructions, on another day when his mood is fine, he will say that the technician does listens to him. Because similar situations had happened numerous times over the years, I had learned to not rely on his point of views a hundred percent. Observe how he had slanted his handwriting. Extreme right. DECISION-MAKING STYLES: LESS RATIONAL, DEPENDENT, SPONTANEOUS, LESS INTUITIVEWith reference to a study on decision-making styles by El Othman, R., El Othman, R., Hallit, R. et al., it is observed that Scott follows a more dependent decision-making, with being spontaneous and less rational. According to the study, higher extroversion and neuroticism scores were significantly associated with lower rational style scores. Higher agreeableness and conscientiousness were associated with higher dependent style scores. Higher agreeableness, conscientiousness and neuroticism scores were significantly associated with lower intuitive style scores.
Intuition is definitely not in Scott’s How to Stay Alive guidebook. It is not that he does not have the intuition to rely on before making decisions like trusting people, he ignored to stop and think through before making his first step. For him, he associated that with overthinking and therefore he will react spontaneously. In addition to that is the way he usually will get easily irritated with inappropriate coping responses when he is trying to overcome his personal challenges. CHARACTER LIMITATION AND ITS IMPACT Scott might not understand the importance of how his behaviour had impacted his relationship with the people he is working with. Not prioritizing to stop and think before expressing his opinions and annoyance will and had a ripple effect to his relationship with the individuals in the company. They started to distant themselves from him, more and more individuals leaving the organisation especially those who had direct communication with him, less respect towards him as a person and his position in the company, distrusting his credibility, high level of miscommunication between him and the staff, team members refusing to listen to his instructions and with him misusing his authority as a manager these had and would impact the company’s personnel management in the years ahead. SOLUTIONSThe following were a number of ways that I managed to implement when I was in the organisation. Just between Scott and myself, when I was the company’s human resource and operational manager, and him as the project manager of the teams.
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Watch the Livestream of the Samsung Alternative Careers Uncovered
Watch the Livestream of the Samsung Alternative Careers Uncovered - Friday 6 May 2022
SAMSUNG FB LINK - https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2275996375886684 I am so grateful to be invited by Samsung to be one of the guest speakers for this event. Not only because it is a new experience synergizing my field of expertise with a brand like Samsung, but mostly the opportunities to chat, connect and work with individuals during and for the event who are equally passionate in their field of expertise and interests. S. Sulianah (Graphologist – Handwriting Analyst) Grapholistic International Your Handwritings and Characters Analyst www.grapholistic.com Singapore | New York City | Los Angeles | Malaysia | Indonesia | London | Dubai *Behind the Scene Story*
The making of this video was like a full production which again I did not expect ha ha... I felt like an actress for a day.
The one thing that impressed me with the final edits is that the Creative and Video Production teams make it so smooth. During the shoot, since there were no scripts I had to come out words on my own and also with inputs from the passionate Copywriter. And of course, I thought that urghh I can do better if I would read from scripts. But actually no need. Be natural. Anywaysss, I love the final piece so much! So pro! *Most Important* The marketing and creative team are so so comfortable to work with, very professional, good listeners, passionate, respectful and supportive. Their characters actually made me feel good being there with them over the course of the past 2 months preparing for everything including the final presentations. Watch Full Campaign Video here: https://youtu.be/IEsT2rM6XuA Rehearsal Behind-the Scenes Shots
Rehearsal timeeee..
Behind-the-scenes shots as Guest Speaker for Samsung Alternative Careers Uncovered
Behind-the-scenes compiled video shots as Guest Speaker for Samsung Alternative Careers Uncovered
My Favourite Pictures of The Day
My favourite pictures of the day. With the muscles behind-the-scenes who I personally enjoyed working with for the last 3 months incld the previous event.
Working with the Marketing and Creative team's Copywriter, Producer, Art Director and Account Manager was one of my favorite highlights. They were so comfortable to work with, very professional, good listeners, passionate, creative, respectful and supportive. Their characters actually made me feel good to be part of these moments with them and preparing for everything. And I dnt know why the way we all joke around like as if we have known one another for a very long time. Also my fellow speakers too... they were so passionate, respectful, and very supportive. S. Sulianah (Graphologist – Handwriting Analyst) Grapholistic International Your Handwritings and Characters Analyst www.grapholistic.com Singapore | New York City | Los Angeles | Malaysia | Indonesia | London | Dubai #Samsung #samsungalternativecareersuncovered #SamsungGalaxyTabS8Ultra #graphology #handwritinganalysis #grapholisticinternational #graphologist #handwritinganalyst #ssulianah How Self-Criticism Traits can developed in our life?
Self-criticism can be developed either by ourselves or when we are brought up in that environment. The environment could be by our parents, siblings, friends you spend time with and anyone you spent your time with. This can also be developed by yourself from the past experiences and if it is self-criticizing, we can say that those are unpleasant and negative experiences which usually are the ones that had made a negative impact to you.
So, are you a person who always criticized yourself?
So, how can you identify self-criticism and whether you are experiencing this? There are signs such as you keep blaming yourself for anything wrong that had happened in your life. Any mistakes or tragedy that had happened which sometimes might not be even related to you but because of external factors but you still put the blame on yourself. Other than that, are the way you speak to yourself. Like “Urgh you are so stupid” “Or you can do better. You should have done better”. The tone of your voice which you used with yourself is negative, the same like how those others speak to you.
How can you eliminate self-criticisms from within you?
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As for the feelings of being stuck, one of the most obvious signs on your handwriting is the baseline. Observe the directions of the baselines of your main text and signature. Baselines descending in which the directions is downwards when you are writing from left to right, or if you write from right to left will be the same. |
We would like to take this opportunity to wish each and everyone of you wherever you are in this world a Happy New Year 2022! Wish you have a more amazing new experiences and time with yourself and your love ones in the new year.
Thank you supporting us by trusting us to be part of your self-development and self-exploration journey.
We look forward to still be part of your life in the years to come. Stay safe!
Publishers Weekly Reviewer - BOOKLIFE REVIEWS
Sulianah offers a compendium of original maxims, thoughts, and advice for readers eager for continual inspiration, with the promise that, even when the material gets frank or challenging, the author will resist the urge to censor. Sharing a few lines or even short paragraphs on each page on a host of topics, Sulianah urges readers toward self love and acceptance (“Believe in yourself even though others do not believe in you”), overcoming self doubt (“You can overcome anything in your life. The question is whether you want to”), and understanding and even exiting unhealthy relationships (“Do not make compromises when others devalue you as a person.”)
The result reads like the advice a friend might want to offer to someone caught in an unhealthy relationship or situation but at times, out of politeness, might soft-pedal. No soft-pedaling here, though: “If someone cannot accept who you are, why are you desperate to be who they want you to be?” asks Sulianah, whose experience as a poet shines through in the crisp, direct, at times epigrammatic prose. While generally upbeat and encouraging, Sulianah’s straight talk at times comes with sharp elbows: one chapter is titled “Confidently Respond to Certified Idiots,” which addresses situations like the boss who won’t listen, acquaintances who ask to borrow money, and how to respond when someone raises their voice.
The thread tying the at times loosely organized advice together is “be brave,” and in entries that range from a couple quick, sharp lines to ones that share a personal anecdote and spread across a couple pages, Sulianah identifies familiar, relatable real-life situations and practical, self-preserving guidance for how to handle them. Throughout, the imperative to be courageous and to protect one’s self worth shines through: “Not even your parents are allowed to make you feel down about yourself,” Sulianah declares, and readers seeking encouragement will find much to buoy themselves here.
Clear, practical, original inspirational quotes urge readers to prioritize their self worth.
LINK TO BOOKLIFE REVIEWS PAGE
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