There could be clear or innate expectations that you will look for in an employee doesn’t matter whether you are recruiting fresh from the open market or from recommendations. The candidate should have the characteristics that fits your company’s objectives, with the appropriate work ethics apart from the ability to perform the roles and responsibilities of the position.

I had worked in corporate organisations for 20 years and had the opportunities to observe but  also be a part of the decision-making process in recruiting and managing personnel with the employers and business owners.

The one area in recruitment that I still questioned the effectiveness is the practice when employers recruit an individual based on the recommendations from their friends and acquaintances without analyzing the person’s characters first. Ignoring all the red flags which are obscured by the relationship they have with the person who had made the recommendation. It was like watching your parents take in a stranger into the house and let them stay with you. This is similar to when your employer does the same without knowing the candidate’s background, work ethics, or even asking in-depth questions that means an official job interview. And of course, in this case there is no such thing anymore as decision-making using their intuition. Recruiting decisions were solely by “Let us help my friend’s friend”, “Let us find something for him to do eventually we will get him a suitable position”,  “Oh I trust my friend so this person should be good”. At times, these individuals are not even needed by the company and eventually became a redundant resource. And most of the time, the employees do not fit in the company, become a problematic liability and then the employer and teams will end up in a backwards spiral or trying to save the company’s reputation. 

​This case study’s focal point is one of the many similar examples of A liability that could have been avoided in the first place if you learn from your past mistakes and intuition. It is one of those case studies that I hope employers and business owners should read. I had categorized this case in the negative spectrum. This spectrum is a nightmare of an experience for HR managers, executives, directors and employers as it involves employee’s work performance and most importantly work ethic. The employee in this case study used to work with this company for about 5 years before he was terminated due to his unacceptable behavior towards a client and staff, using words that were unpleasant and unprofessional. 

​Profile: Senior Engineer. Hector (not his actual name)
Age: 60+ years old
Worked with the company for about 5 years. Was an employee with the company few years back, but his contract were terminated due to his performance and cheating on his overtime reports. 

The following analysis were my personal observation as a HR Executive during the first year of this engineer’s employment. This was about 15 years ago when my boss who is now my ex-employer decided to recruit Hector as a full-time engineer in the company. When my ex-boss informed me of his decision to recruit Hector just because Hector approached him for help of an employment, I had expressed my disagreement and listed down my reasons.

When I first met him I didn’t know the back story of his previous termination with the company so I had relied on my personal impartial observation and analysis. Everything about my analysis of Hector especially my intuition screamed ‘Nope’ and ‘To be careful’. There were tints of This guy cannot be trusted when I was first introduced to him, and I could feel negative energy when he first entered the meeting room. When my ex-boss left me with him to settle the official employment process, he was totally different from before. He was arrogant and clearly acted in a way telling me who was 30 years younger than him that he is the superior one and has all the authority to influence anyone. And again, the uncomfortable energy that I was sensing during that time was actually more than whatever he had showed himself as. My feedback to my ex-boss about my perspectives were totally ignored. Thinking of it later it was not surprising since my ex-boss will usually recruit either his friends or friends’ friends based on his relationships with them. I let him be, however, at my side I interacted with Hector with a lot of precautions.
 
A few months later, there was this an incident that happened when Hector approached me and questioned about his salary. He questioned in an authoritative tone of voice once again how his salary does not fit with the consultation rates that our company had proposed to our client for a project he was involved in. Meaning, why is he getting a salary for example $4,000 per month when the project deal was closed at $350,000. A question that was unexpected. First and foremost is how can a person who kept bragging to his co-workers and employer that he has years of work experiences could not understand how running a business works. Since Hector has arrogance and egoistic in his character, I replied with “You actually have no rights to questioned how much the company charge the client. You had agreed with the salary he offered to you so whatever the company earned is actually none of your business.” I was expecting him to respond to me with another attack, but he turned timid right after that. I reported this case to my ex-boss immediately just in case the story turns to another telenovela if he heard it directly from Hector. Like I mentioned earlier, I had to take extra precautions when dealing with Hector.
​
In the first few years of when Hector was on employment with us, I did not use my handwriting analysis (graphology) skills to look into Hector’s handwriting because at that time I wanted to challenge myself to learn to also understand people through their body language, tone of their voice, behavior and also learn to test my intuition and analysis. 

During the first few years of Hector’s employment, there were evidence of his eat snake attitude. Eat snake is a phrase we use in Asia mainly Singapore and Malaysia which originates from a Hokkien phrase, Jiak Zhua. This means avoiding responsibilities and slacking off from tasks. Other co-workers who had worked  with him in projects had reported to the boss of his eat snake attitude. Reports were not completed, overseas projects that he was assigned by the boss to be the main person of contact ended up haywire.  Not only that they were victims of him whenever he will twist their words and stories for his advantage. Employees management were so bad at the project site he was in that I had to travel overseas to talk to the team members and him. His communication with our client, his co-workers and the company management were terribly unpleasant and not organised. There was an instance that he tried to embarrass our company in front of a client by complaining loudly in the client’s office main area without thinking about our company’s reputation that I had to hit his leg under the table to tell him to shut it up. And there were two instances that because of him, two well performed good employees left the company and another was terminated.

The employee who decided to leave the company had reported to our company that Hector cheated when reporting machines testing results for the project. Instead of siding to this employee, our ex-boss trusted Hector even though there were clear evidences. In terms of work performance and work ethics, I would rate this employee is at 10 while Hector is at 0.1 with a scale of 10 as most reliable and with good performance.

The other case was a tragic story because this employee who was terminated trusted Hector. This employee who also owns an employment agency company which my ex-boss was well aware of had told Hector that when he will be stationed in China with him, he will be taking the opportunities to also look into the market to expand his business. Yes it was a conflict of interest but also he trusted the wrong person to share his plans. So, Hector notified the boss behind his back. And because of that this employee was terminated immediately. Between Hector and this employee, the work performance is also totally incomparable. Hector will be at 0.1 while this employee is at 9.5 but all those again does not matter to the ex-boss in this case apparently.

In terms of trustworthiness, from the personal relationships’ perspectives between Hector and his co-worker, he was well-known as someone who the co-workers will avoid at any cost. From the side of professionalism which is encompassing responsibilities such as writing reports and completing projects, Hector does not fit to be in the scale of the Trustworthy and Reliable Employee category. However for the sake of this case study, I am placing him at 0.1 even though personally I will put him as 0.0. 

​Let us study his handwriting whether he is actually that person that I had just analysed earlier solely based on my observations of his behavior, characters, mindset and work ethics. 

Hector’s handwriting form is thready. A wavy thread of connections between letters. This kind of handwriting is considered as cursory and is written with speed. There are words that are indecipherable because of the fast movement of the writing such as work or write? for or fr? airside or forside? Rm or Run?

​The positive part of the analysis of someone with a thready handwriting: adaptable in whatever conditions and situations he is in, able to make use of opportunities when he finds fit, diplomacy, with a considerable physical action, and inventive (Cited Nezos R., 2006). 

After understanding an employee through your observations and analysing their personality through their handwriting, what is that one step further that you need to do to solve any issues that could arise? If your employee has the filiform, thready handwriting and they do not use it in a way that will impact your company’s business and your other employees, then leave them be.

However, if you have noticed those traits dominating your employee and negatively impacting your employees who are with good work ethics, good performance and behaviour leaving your company because of this one person’s behaviour, you have to open your eyes and mind to decide logically. For this case study, Hector’s boss was blinded by Hector’s assumed loyalty and let himself be manipulated for 5 years and not forgetting the previous 3 years. When you are running your business, be open to listen to your other employees who would have been giving you feedback about this person over the years. Personal relationships should be set aside when you are managing your business because you will lose the employees who genuinely would like to work hand-in-hand with you to build your company and also for their personal growth.
 
Learn to be self-aware, self-conscious when you observe your employees and make any decisions. Ask yourself the basis of your decision to justify why you are deciding to trust A but not B. Because in a span of as short as one year, your decision to let the good employee go and give someone like Hector to breed in your company, you will not only lose that one good employee, but you are also actually piling doubts in the other employees’ minds because of your favouritism, indecisions, and biasness. And you will keep repeating this same process for years and years, adamant and ended up being stagnant in your personal growth. Eventually 8 years later, the ones who will be left behind with you in your company are all the Hectors. 

​Author: S.Sulianah (Graphologist and Founder of Grapholistic International)
Your Handwritings and Characters Analyst
www.grapholistic.com

If you are wondering, why am I including fickle-mindedness in the list of traits that could hinder your self-esteem and development, and how could it possibly influence your self-esteem?

Apart from the self-criticism trait that was highlighted in the earlier episode, the fickle-minded trait will make you questioned yourself and continuously changing your decisions.

It shows how you are not confident with your perspectives, opinions and even your own analysis. It tells you and of course the other people that you are working with or living with, that you have no idea why you had even made that decisions in the first place.

Furthermore, this trait will not only lower the perception you have towards yourself and diminish the confidence to make decision on your own, it will also affect your relationship with others.

When you constantly decide in an erratic way, it will be unpleasant and irritating to those people who are affected by your indecision. Gradually, you will create distrusts. Those people who you are dealing with will questioned not only your leadership, most importantly your credibility and reliability.

To begin with, being inconsistent and unsure when making decisions can happen when you have no idea what is going on. Or even if you do, you may not be sure about that subject or could be that you do not have any experiences dealing in that kind of situations. 

Because you were not sure, you might be  worried that “What if your decision could affect the entire team in a wrong way, or even tear apart the whole plan?”

Well, those worries are valid. Like for instance, your team is trying to save someone from drowning. The first step probably is to dive straight to the lake which you had instructed. But then suddenly someone saw an alligator. In this case, clearly you need to change the decision by probably getting a boat or rope instead of diving straight ahead to help. Changing decision like in this case is understandable. 

The kind of fickle decisions which could make you doubt yourself, or people to doubt your reliability is when you keep changing your 'final decisions' solely relying on others’ opinions.

For instance, you have decided with your team to fix those ceiling lights in your office. As usual, you had instructed your staff to source for suppliers and purchase those lights. Once you received the delivered items 2 weeks later, out of nowhere one of your friends who came to visit you in the office suggested you change the lights to bulb instead of LED. You decided to listen to your friend’s opinion even though you had spent hours deciding with your staff that LED is less costly for your office monthly electricity expenses.

You listened to a friend who was not involved in the decision-making and has no idea what is going on. The point is you rely on external inputs, wasting time and money. You did not even stop to think about it yourself. From your position you might not realized that your behavior is evident to your staff clearly showing how you are not confident with your own decisions and could easily be influenced. It is worst if this is not your first time. 

Because of the way he make decisions, employees do not trust him. They may look like they listened but in fact once they get out of the meeting, they let it go. It was not a surprise when employees could not handle it anymore that they decided to leave. Being fickle in small decisions for your personal one person situations may not affect anyone but if you are working in an organization, doesn’t matter whether you lead a team or not, the way you think, respond and when taking actions will impact you and other groups of people in a larger scale.

1. First and foremost, change it by being aware of your behavior and understand the way you think. You must first observe and analyze the way you respond to the surrounding and in different situations. How you will usually think, behave and respond in circumstances like when you have more time to decide, and in urgency.
   
   
2. Then, learn to focus on the problem solving instead of relying on what if you don’t listen to them, and you might lose them as your friend if you don’t consider their opinions. Build your own backbone.
   ​
   
3. If you have a boss or employee or even your partner who you think might have this character in them, you can check their handwriting slants.
   

1. In handwriting analysis, one of the handwriting traits that signifies inconsistent thinking like being fickle, you can observe that the handwriting will have variation in slants. Slants are the direction your letters are leaning to. Either left, right or upright. If the individual has inconstant decisions, their handwriting slants will be a mixture of two. The intensity will depend on the overall degree of slants and variations. 
   
   Also be careful if the person has three of this at one time in their handwriting. The person could be manipulative too. ​With reference to the previous example of an employer who I used to work with, he has two of slants mixed between left and upright most of the time. And sometimes the slants will be upright and towards the right. Yes, this could also signify someone who is flexible and in fact he was.
   
   However, if you have these traits you have to learn how and when to use it at the right place and at the right time. Because if not, the personality can turn to be an unpleasant behaviour not only to others but to your own disposition.
   
   
2. Other than that, you can also observe other traits that could possibly exists on the handwriting that signifies indecision. The variation in the size of the handwriting that is the height and or width or both of the middle zone. If it fluctuates intensively, it signifies that how he is not sure of himself. He might be okay now but, in a few minutes, he will not be.  
   
   For instance, you might notice that your employer will be so into not getting involved with the same client who has not been paying the project’s fees on-time to your company. Because of that your boss insisted he will not get involved with any new projects with them anymore. He will spend four hours talking to you about the client and how he will refuse their new project offer next time until they pay the outstanding. Then, two days later, your boss came to your room and tell you with excitement and pride that he just signed off a new agreement for a new project with the same client. Well, if this is how unpredictable your boss is, high possibility his handwriting sizes varies extremely. 
   
   
3. Another handwriting trait that will present in the person’s handwriting is low self-esteem. I had covered in earlier episode how to identify self-esteem on the handwriting. One of the low self-esteem trait is the placement of the t-bar which is below on the middle. T-bar is the horizontal line of your letter-t. If the person writes with a low t-bar, he is likely to be insecure about himself.
   
   High chances is he will doubt any of his decisions and tend to rely on others’ opinions. So, he will end up listening to someone else’s opinions instead of his especially if he has the desire to get approval from them mostly someone who sounds more authoritative.
   

1. As for variation in slants, learn to be conscious of how you write and the direction the slants is leaning to. If you tend to write upright, focus on upright. If right or left, do the same. Mixing slants slightly is okay but if too much, it will be too extreme and will definitely affect your behavior and the way you think. Be self-aware with the way you write.
2. This applies the same to the size of your handwriting. Be consistent. Not rigid just be consistent on your handwriting size.
3. As for your t-bar, write it above the middle zone. That is enough. The method of changing the handwriting is called Graphotherapy. It will take some time to noticed changes in your personality but definitely with the correct technique you will see the difference.

​To re-post these contents on your website, social media, blogs, articles, YouTube etc, please remember to cite the Author's name, S.Sulianah, and link to her company's website www.grapholistic.com

Author: S.Sulianah (Graphologist and Founder of Grapholistic International)
Your Handwritings and Characters Analyst
www.grapholistic.com

Having a highly effective project manager in your company is an asset. It will determine the success of not only your company’s business but also the environment and relationship between your employees in your workplace. As simple as when a project manager refused to listen and analyse your operational staff’s feedback or findings. Not letting the team members know the project manager is there when they need to talk, which could gradually build frustrations. Like a domino effect, the progressive feelings of abandonment and non-inclusive will develop in your employees.

​This case study is an excerpt from my soon to be published book under the HR and Management Series. This study is focused on human behavior and how a character trait could influence individual’s decision-making, thinking pattern, observation, communication with colleagues, perspectives, the way they speak, the way they think, outlook towards their personal goals and their reliability in a business setting. In addition to that, this study had also used the science of handwriting analysis to study their personality, characters, behaviors and possible cause and effect, if any, during the course of my observation and analysis.
 
The case analysis is a comprehensive long-term account with evidence in a corporate business organisation setting. It was an analysis of one of the senior project managers for a period of 13 years, which is significant in the connection with the other case studies in this series. 

Project Manager, Scott (Not real name)
About 20 years of work experience
In his mid-30s

​Scott has been working in the engineering field for over 20 years with experiences as an engineer and as of this present day, a project manager.
 
The first impression I had of Scott is his sweet smile, approachable and reliable. As a human resource manager during my years in the company, one of the suggestions I would recommend to my former director was to bring him to any of the meetings with clients if there is a need to. Not only because he has years of experience with the company and exposure to deal with clients in that industry, but Scott could also adapt to the surrounding, respectful and know what to say and what not to in a formal setting. 

​If you have read the first case study of the senior project manager, Lewis, who tend to keep his feelings and opinions to himself, Scott is the complete opposite of his senior. This is to the extent of his facial expression. Even if the message that he is going to tell you is not bad news or something to be bitter about, he will still express his feelings with a scowl. In the earlier years when we were working together, whenever he came to my room or when he approached me to tell me something, he will look like as if he wanted to start a confrontation, disagreeing with whatever he had in mind. 

​Since I knew I will be working with him for a long time, and would not prefer to be annoyed everytime, I had told him frankly what I think about the way he presented himself. And added that his behaviour was encouraging me to vent my displeasure at him, which is not a good practice for both of us. So, as for with me, he did change the way he spoke to me, but with the others he still continued the same.

The sharp end strokes also signifies his frustrations towards others, be it in his personal life or in the professional settings. In terms of expressing himself, Scott usually never hides these feelings. And he will let it out and the one who is unlucky during that moment will meet with his wrath. 

Scott is in the level of 10 out of 10 in the spectrum when trusting others. To begin with, since he makes his selections based on how he feels about someone, his choices are more towards who he favors. I was a witness to his real life examples a handful of times over the 13 years how he got cheated by others for his 'generosity' and anything similar to that. And there were no way he will listened to anyone's advice to not trust that person. I clearly remembered one day after lunch, he told me that he had informed one of the technicians about a case which is supposedly to be a confidential between the two of us. I told him that “I don’t trust that guy at all and are you sure he will not share with anyone?” My analysis of that person was a compendium of my observation of his character, personality, body language and behaviour over 5 years, which includes my instincts. It was also the reason I never agreed in recruiting him in the first place. At that time, Scott responded to me with “You are overthinking”. Guess what happened three weeks after that conversation? This technician who was supposed to return after visiting his hometown did not come back to the office at all. And the worst part was that Scott had lent him about $20,000 before he left the country with a reason that he needed the money for his dad’s operation. Later that week, Scott found out that the staff’s dad was fine and never was hospitalized. 

I had written more in-depth about lending and borrowing money in my book Be Brave: Uncensored Motivational Quotes. Highlighted in the book are the possible reasons why you tend to let yourself lent your hard-earned money to others. One of the root causes is the need for acceptance by others. In Scott’s case, this is not his first time trusting someone. I had the chance to ask him the reasons he tend to commit himself into others’ misery. Most of his responses were related to how he sympathized with their conditions. But because I was quite concerned with Scott’s ignorance, I asked him again “Do they really need it? If they do need it for to survive, they will not be able to spend their hard-earned salary on beers enjoying themselves during happy hours and weekends every week.” As a human resource manager during that time, I was also concerned about how Scott viewed this situation. He also mentioned about their relationships. If he did not lend them the money, they will not listen to his instructions. A wrong equation and perception on Scott’s part.
 
So, what I noticed over the years was how Scott’s insecurity gradually impacted his final decisions and the way he treated himself and others. He will put in effort to exert his authority without even caring whether the other person is a technician, his senior or someone who does not even report to him. 

There were many occasions that I had to not rely on his views and appraisals of the staff who were working in projects with him. Usually, project managers will be asked to appraise their team members’ performances in which their feedback will affect the staff’s yearend bonus, and salary increments. However, for the staff under Scott’s teams, I had to do my own personal observation and analysis. Why is that so? Scott evaluation changes at an extensive degree that his feedback became an unreliable source of information. For instance, today he will comment about the technician working with him in Project A as someone who will not listen to his instructions, on another day when his mood is fine, he will say that the technician does listens to him. Because similar situations had happened numerous times over the years, I had learned to not rely on his point of views a hundred percent. Observe how he had slanted his handwriting. Extreme right. 

​With reference to a study on decision-making styles by El Othman, R., El Othman, R., Hallit, R. et al.,  it is observed that Scott follows a more dependent decision-making, with being spontaneous and less rational.
 
According to the study, higher extroversion and neuroticism scores were significantly associated with lower rational style scores. Higher agreeableness and conscientiousness were associated with higher dependent style scores. Higher agreeableness, conscientiousness and neuroticism scores were significantly associated with lower intuitive style scores.

​Intuition is definitely not in Scott’s How to Stay Alive guidebook. It is not that he does not have the intuition to rely on before making decisions like trusting people, he ignored to stop and think through before making his first step. For him, he associated that with overthinking and therefore he will react spontaneously. In addition to that is the way he usually will get easily irritated with inappropriate coping responses when he is trying to overcome his personal challenges. 

Scott might not understand the importance of how his behaviour had impacted his relationship with the people he is working with. Not prioritizing to stop and think before expressing his opinions and annoyance will and had a ripple effect to his relationship with the individuals in the company. They started to distant themselves from him, more and more individuals leaving the organisation especially those who had direct communication with him, less respect towards him as a person and his position in the company, distrusting his credibility, high level of miscommunication between him and the staff, team members refusing to listen to his instructions and with him misusing his authority as a manager these had and would impact the company’s personnel management in the years ahead.  

The following were a number of ways that I managed to implement when I was in the organisation. Just between Scott and myself, when I was the company’s human resource and operational manager, and him as the project manager of the teams. ​

​To re-post these contents on your website, social media, blogs, articles, YouTube etc, please remember to cite the Author's name, S.Sulianah, and link to her company's website www.grapholistic.com

Watch the Livestream of the Samsung Alternative Careers Uncovered - Friday 6 May 2022

SAMSUNG FB LINK - https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=2275996375886684​

I am so grateful to be invited by Samsung to be one of the guest speakers for this event. Not only because it is a new experience synergizing my field of expertise with a brand like Samsung, but mostly the opportunities to chat, connect and work with individuals during and for the event who are equally passionate in their field of expertise and interests.

S. Sulianah (Graphologist – Handwriting Analyst)
Grapholistic International
Your Handwritings and Characters Analyst
www.grapholistic.com

Singapore | New York City | Los Angeles | Malaysia | Indonesia | London | Dubai

The making of this video was like a full production which again I did not expect ha ha... I felt like an actress for a day.
 
The one thing that impressed me with the final edits is that the Creative and Video Production teams make it so smooth. During the shoot, since there were no scripts I had to come out words on my own and also with inputs from the passionate Copywriter. And of course, I thought that urghh I can do better if I would read from scripts. But actually no need. Be natural. Anywaysss, I love the final piece so much! So pro!
 
*Most Important*
The marketing and creative team are so so comfortable to work with, very professional, good listeners, passionate, respectful and supportive. Their characters actually made me feel good being there with them over the course of the past 2 months preparing for everything including the final presentations.

Watch Full Campaign Video here:  https://youtu.be/IEsT2rM6XuA​

Rehearsal timeeee..
Behind-the-scenes shots as Guest Speaker for Samsung Alternative Careers Uncovered

​Behind-the-scenes compiled video shots as Guest Speaker for Samsung Alternative Careers Uncovered

​My favourite pictures of the day. With the muscles behind-the-scenes who I personally enjoyed working with for the last 3 months incld the previous event.

Working with the Marketing and Creative team's Copywriter, Producer, Art Director and Account Manager was one of my favorite highlights. They were so comfortable to work with, very professional, good listeners, passionate, creative, respectful and supportive.

Their characters actually made me feel good to be part of these moments with them and preparing for everything. And I dnt know why the way we all joke around like as if we have known one another for a very long time.

Also my fellow speakers too... they were so passionate, respectful, and very supportive.

S. Sulianah (Graphologist – Handwriting Analyst)
Grapholistic International
Your Handwritings and Characters Analyst
www.grapholistic.com

Singapore | New York City | Los Angeles | Malaysia | Indonesia | London | Dubai

#Samsung #samsungalternativecareersuncovered #SamsungGalaxyTabS8Ultra #graphology #handwritinganalysis #grapholisticinternational #graphologist #handwritinganalyst #ssulianah

Self-criticism can be developed either by ourselves or when we are brought up in that environment. The environment could be by our parents, siblings, friends you spend time with and anyone you spent your time with. This can also be developed by yourself from the past experiences and if it is self-criticizing, we can say that those are unpleasant and negative experiences which usually are the ones that had made a negative impact to you.

So, how can you identify self-criticism and whether you are experiencing this? There are signs such as you keep blaming yourself for anything wrong that had happened in your life. Any mistakes or tragedy that had happened which sometimes might not be even related to you but because of external factors but you still put the blame on yourself. Other than that, are the way you speak to yourself. Like “Urgh you are so stupid” “Or you can do better. You should have done better”. The tone of your voice which you used with yourself is negative, the same like how those others speak to you.

1. Firstly, you have to be self-aware that you are doing this to yourself.
2. Then, you need to learn to respect yourself. Whenever that voice seeps into your thoughts, your mind, you have to change it immediately to something that is inspiring and positive.
3. Immediately shut off that voice from finishing its sentences and clouding your mind. Visualize it from being cut off from entering the physical brain, from entering your frontal cortex and gradually the nerves of your whole-being. Quickly change your words into the good part of your imagination.
4. And then whenever you made a mistake, don’t dwell on it. Sometimes we have a tendency to remember moments that were embarrassing, or like Damn I shouldn’t say that. I would too like then I will say Fuck shit. But then what you have to do is to say to yourself, “Ah… I don’t think they even remember that moment. Forget about it.” You will be surprised on how this will work well and you will eventually forget about those unnecessary memories.
5. And remember not to let others include you in their self-criticizing. I used to have a friend who did this. During conversations with our friends when she would like to talk about her own body size, she will mention me and her. So, in response to that, usually I will ignored her remarks. Whenever I don’t find worth it to argue and waste my time with ignorance, I will rather not talk about it in front of the person especially if I observed that it is not worth it. However, eventually, ten years later, I was in my clearer mind and brave enough to distanced myself from her and listen to my instinct to avoid similar individuals who keeps bringing me down.  

One of the handwriting trait that signifies self-criticizing is a sharp stroke of your t-bar. Check your small letter-t. The horizontal stroke is called the t-bar. If you write from right to left and the bar is sharp like a dagger, that is one of the self-criticizing handwriting traits. Usually, it will be written from right to left and is sharp.
 
And another handwriting traits is the i-dot. When you write your small letters I, the dot is not round. It is slashed and downward direction which is written from top to down instead of just the usual dot.
 
The other handwriting trait would be your signature. Individuals who has the tendency or habit of criticizing themselves will strike-off the signature, even if it is a small part of the signature. 

Firstly, for your letter t-bar.
Write the opposite of it. Write from left to right for the t-bar strokes. Or if you are comfortable with writing from right to left, mellow down on the sharp dagger like stroke.
 
Secondly, as for the i-dot, just dot your letter i. That is why it is called i-dot. Mellow it down by jotting a dot instead of aiming downwards towards yourself.
 
Lastly, as for the signature, remove the strike line. If you would like to underline, write it below your signature. Do not touch the signature. That is it.
 
Practice these whenever you have the chance to write. While writing, remember to change your mindset and psycho your mind by telling yourself that you can improve on not being hard to yourself and not criticizing anything that you do. If it is unpleasant or you make a mistake, just change the way you do things so you will not make the same error again and then let it go. Keep in mind that anything is possible, if you want to change like you want to you will change.

To re-post these contents on your website, social media, blogs, articles, YouTube etc, please remember to cite the Author's name, S.Sulianah, and link to her company's website www.grapholistic.com

This article is an excerpt from the new episode 11 from Grapholistic Podcast written by S.Sulianah. The pod all about handwritings and characters analysis. I am your podcaster, S.Sulianah. I am also the founder and the Graphologist for Grapholistic International. Grapholistic International is a company which I had started since 2005 focusing on personality development and handwritings and characters analysis.
 
In episode 1, I promised that Phase 5 which is the self-defence episode will be aired in episode 9. However, I made a lot of changes and decided to revamp my podcast structure to make it more detailed for you to follow through. So, now we are at episode 12 which I would like to share more details on the traits that could lower your self-esteem first just so you can avoid it during the course of building the foundation of your personality.
 
In this episode, I will then share with you how to learn more about yourself and the level of your self-esteem using the science of handwriting analysis. Just for your info, another term for studying the science of handwritings is called graphology. I will also share with you how you can identify and change your handwriting with a technique called Graphotherapy in order to improve your personality.
 
The Graphotherapy technique is a method that I have used to build my personal self-esteem and confidence. And so far over the course of 20 to 27 years I have used it, it is molding into who I am today. 

​These are the traits which I found out that had affected my self-esteem during the time when I was in my teenage years.
 
The traits that directly and also indirectly could bring your self-confidence down. The traits that could impact the way you speak to people, and most importantly to yourself. These are some of the significant traits which could lower your self-esteem.

1. Self-critical
2. Fickle mindedness
3. Timidity
4. Low self-confidence
5. Sarcastic
6. Sensitive to criticisms
7. Not being trustworthy
8. Comparing with others
9. Too concern of what others think about you
10. Spending your time with the wrong people
11. Allowing others to disrespect you

 
Even at moments when you have set your goals, change bad habits, developing your skills and successfully achieving those goals, if these traits are still present in you and you let it grow with you, it will make your life uncomfortable, you will end up not being grateful with your accomplishments, and eventually will cause distress and lower your self-confidence. The goals you set and the life you have to live on should not be causing you stress or pain. It should motivate you to live your life and be happy with yourself.
 
You will wonder why do people still don’t feel happy when they have everything? Sometimes they will feel like everything are not enough when they have more than enough, when they have everything that they ever wanted. So, why? Because all these traits are still embedded in their personality. If you experienced this issue with yourself which is you will constantly criticize yourself, then you have to learn how to stop doing that.
 
 
Then you may ask now how can you stop doing that? How can you manage or eliminate these traits from your personality?
 
In the upcoming episodes, I will share with you how to improve these traits using the Graphotherapy technique. And if you are interested to know how to first know whether it is present on your handwriting and how to then eliminate or reduce these traits by changing your handwriting, continue to listen to the next episode.

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​The next important point is while you are telling your story, learn to also be attentive to observe the other person’s body language. Listen to their body language. It is a response to the message you are delivering. If you talk to a person, firstly make sure they are having eye contact with you. For instance, when you are sharing your ideas at work and your boss is busy typing his proposal and doing something and not looking at you, please stop. Don’t waste time talking to him. You can either immediately stop talking, or you can say to him “Seems like you are busy. I will come back later when you are available to have a discussion.”
 
If you are talking to a friend, if he or she is not looking at you most of the time or she kept checking her phone, you can learn to stop immediately or cut the conversation to the end. The things you are saying is not valuable to them but to you it is important. Save it for others who wants to listen.
 
So, if you are the type of person who talks so much then this is also a good point for you to learn and be aware of the feedbacks especially body language. Doesn’t matter what type of category of personality you are or the type of person you are, you have to learn when to stop talking. Do not give yourself excuses that you cannot. We all come from the same origins for sure you can adapt to situations and not giving excuses that you are that type of person or you are not that type of person. When it comes to respecting others, there is no leeway.
 
So, when you talk a lot, be attentive to body language of a person you are speaking to. They could be very tired listening to only you talking. This can be seen when they fidget too much or their eyes are already on somewhere else in the room other than you. When their feet or body is pointing towards the exit, those are some signs that you should know and learn to stop talking.  
 
I used to have an ex-colleague from the company’s sales department who talks a lot. If you read Thomas Erikson’s book surrounded by Idiots and Psychopaths, this ex-colleague of mine is in the Yellow category. Every time he talked, he will talked non-stop. At first I can manage to listen to him and casually respond to him. But then, gradually, when I realized that his vessels are empty I decided to change my style whenever he had conversation with me. I will turn only half of my posture to him whenever he comes into my room to tell me something. And I will make sure my hands are on my keyboard and my chair directing towards my computer instead of him. When he tells me something, I will only replied, with “Okay. Noted. Got it.” No more questions. He will leave in less than 2 minutes in comparison to 30 to 60 minutes in my room.  So for instance, if you encounter with similar situations in your workplace or your personal conversations with people, you have to know the basics in communication. And then play around with it according to the settings you are in.
 
Same goes to the earlier example when your friend inserted her story while you are sharing yours. You can stop them and say “I am telling my story which you wanted to know. So, this is about me not you. Please let me finish”. Usually I will go with compromising and be nice but when I noticed that the individuals will not listen to themselves, I will be honest to them. I have heard stories of people sharing about how their friends don’t listen to them or refused to acknowledge them or gaslighting. And for sure this will affect your personal happiness and self-esteem and even relationship with the person. Just remember one thing, focus on your instinct and what it tells you about your comfort level with the individuals. You can change yourself but you do not have control to tell others to change. So, decide based on what you think is right for you and keep moving forward. 

Hello Everyone!! Welcome back to another episode of Grapholistic Podcast. The pod all about handwritings and characters analysis. I am your podcaster, S.Sulianah.
 
In this episode, we are taking an in-depth look at Phase 4 in developing your communication skills. This episode I will teach you how to enhance your writing skills.  These are practical ways that will be helpful to guide you when you find that your writing skills is a bit questionable. When you realized that it is not up to a certain standard or you feel like you need to improve it.
 
Before you go ahead to apply for a course on how to write creatively or fluently to improve this writing skills of yours, the first step is to know what you want out of being skillful in your writing. Such as is it to get better grades, to write a convincing presentation, to publish your books, to write scripts and many other possible reasons.  Because there are many courses out there that have different objectives. If you want to write for your books, then it is better to look for courses that is related to authorship and publishing instead of writing movie scripts. If you want to improve on your English writing skills as a beginner, it is better to look for courses that fits the level you are looking for. Focus on your main objectives.
 
The second step is to focus first on your basics like grammar, forming sentences, using the correct vocabulary that suits the environment you are in. You can learn bombastic vocabulary which I used to do but nowadays I can rely on thesaurus to help add more spice to the words in my articles. As for conversation like this, I will usually use the simplest words depending on my audience.  
 
 
The third step is to keep writing. Write in private before publishing anything if you have no confident yet to let people read your contents. Start by writing on your diary about your daily feelings and thoughts. Write about your ideas. Write your own blogs. When you travel, write about your experiences, the food you eat, how you feel about the landscapes and the people you met. When you read books or articles, watch movies or went to a concert or listen to a music album, write your opinions about it like a review. Apply what you had learnt in those courses you had taken and test whether it is practical. If writing a full paragraph is too heavy for you, start with writing mind maps or in points first. Then, gradually from there build your momentum. 
 
The last step is to let people read what you had written. This part usually will develop when it is time. There will this moment when you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and opinions and feelings to strangers. These could be through any forms like blogs, books, articles, websites, newspapers, magazines or even writing to your friends. It doesn’t mean that you felt that whatever you had written are perfect. I don’t believe in 100% perfection in writing because there will be at some points on the final article there could still be space for improvements even after final edit and after you published.

​I hope you get all the main four points. So, now what are the possible challenges that you might face while trying to achieve your target to be a published author, or well-known quality scriptwriter or even having A+ for your thesis, for your reports?
 
Firstly, remember that all these steps are to be done phase by phase. It takes time. When I say time means months and years. So, keep writing and keep learning. Do not give up.
 
When your readers shared with you their perspectives on what you had written, listen. Then if you would like to tell them why you wrote like that, tell them your points respectfully. They are your readers and usually for me I will listen to those who reads my contents but not to people who criticized but didn’t even care about reading what I had written. So focus on your readers, your followers and your fans.
 
Secondly, since your main goal is to be better in your writing skills, you have to be opened to learn and gain new knowledge. If you disagree with the instructor’s opinions and teachings in class or lectures, process the information first before telling her or him that you disagree or if you do not like what was shared. Be respectful.
 
Also, there is no need to be embarrassed when you want to take any courses. Doesn’t matter your age, your status quo, or any excuses that you have in mind. When I was in secondary 1, I told my dad to enrol for me a creative English class because I feel like I was really weak with my English writing skills. The class was conducted in one of the community centers near my place and the instructor was quite detailed with the technicality which for me was what I needed during that time. I was not embarrassed to request my dad to help me register for it and telling him frankly I need to improve. And when I had completed that course, I felt one more level of confidence achieved because I get to learn new techniques which raised my knowledge and skills in writing.
 
The third challenge is applying whatever you had learnt into actions. Because it will be such a waste of money and time if you don’t. Frankly, I don’t apply everything I had learnt because there are a load of information to be applied. So, I will selectively apply whenever I needed it. But don’t waste your money and time if you don’t think that is what you want.
 
The fourth point is made sure you complete everything and never ever do anything halfway and leave without finishing your tasks. Again, it will be waste of money and time if you do things halfway or you study halfway. If you are 1/3 working on it, and you get tired of it like really you hated it not because you feel lazy about, if you really hated it, find out why. Is it because of the course’s syllabus or the instructor? Is it because somebody told you that it is not worth it? Is it because you have no energy to do it anymore? That is why before you embark on anything, or register your application, think first.
 
And on the other type of challenges especially when you start writing a book, why are you doing it halfway? You have to ask yourself why can’t you finish it? Possible reasons when you are unable to finish the book you are writing are for instance there is still not much evidence to support your theory so you need more time, it could be because you think you have writers’ block, or probably you need to be heartbroken first to finish the poetry book. Find out the reasons and attempt to it immediately. Do not drag. Just for your information, whenever you have writers’ block, go grab a book and read. This will make you go back to writing fluently and complete it within the next few days. About the heartbroken or frustrated situations, sometimes this could be a trigger to make you write. My first poetry book that I published years ago it was an immediate decision which I managed to compile all the poems I had written over the years and publish it within 2 to 3 days. My 2nd poetry book was when I was a little bit heartbroken and I wanted to shut off the chapter immediately, so I wrote the last few pages in a day and then proceed to publish it after a week. As for my latest book, Be Brave : Uncensored Motivational Quotes, it took me about 8 hours to write all the quotes plus 2 days to add in details to the backstory of those quotes before I proceed to publish it. This was written when I wanted to vent my last few feelings of frustrations towards a group of individuals. So, because I wanted to change to a new chapter in my life, I had to let go of the past in that way.
 
Make full use of your current situations to complete your writing tasks and goals. This is one of the possible important reasons to complete your writings.

Before I end this episode, I have a story to share with you, my personal journey when I was trying to improve my writing skills.
 
Over the years, my writing skills had the ups and downs moments. It was not like I became so good in a year after doing all those steps I just shared with you earlier. But there is one significant moment that happened about 14 years ago which made a lot of difference to this journey and I can say after that it goes up gradually in a positive way.
 
14 years ago when I was taking my part-time bachelor degree, I encountered with problems of not having good results for my psychology thesis. Just so you know, I was a business management student and psychology was foreign to me. The requirements for their reports are totally different from when I was doing my diploma in business management, 5 years before that. My thesis grades were like C, B- It was actually stressing me out in a way that my psychology modules grades were not as good as when I was taking my diploma.
 
There was this classmate of mine who I admired who is now one of my closest friends. She is so good in her conversational and writing skills. I was exposed to her everyday which made me want to make sure I can speak well like her. She is so fluent in her conversation that sometimes she can be witty and will always make me laughed. I don’t laugh easily usually. And not only the way she speaks, apparently she is also good in writing. I mean her background study was in law and she probably speaks English with her family.
 
Anyway, remember when I mentioned in earlier episode about having a model that you have to imagined you would like to be like as your target before you start improving on certain skills? Okay, this friend of mine was my model target.
 
I said to myself literally, and in my prayers daily that I want to speak and write as fluent as her. Yes guys, if you pray at home whatever your beliefs are, please do it in a way that when you pray say in detailed. I have said this many times in my podcast too. Prayers is actually saying it out loud to yourself what you want and need, your problems, your thoughts. Some may called this the manifestation technique.
 
For this case, I literally mentioned my friend’s name and the aspects that I want to improve for myself and which part of her skills that I would like to improve myself on. So, in terms of the communication aspect of her, I admired how she is so fluent when she speaks. She could express herself well and also so cool when she said something witty. I was on the other hand during that time more to like yes, was confident, but I feel like constricted to speak out what I feel or think. I felt that was because I was thinking about how my English language was not that good in terms of forming sentences and not using the correct grammar. Oh, before I forget, during this period, my reading habit was slacking too. I was too much focused on my daily work in office and responsibilities that I did not even spend time to read. Just so you know, this is one of the reasons.
 
One day, I accidentally read one of her psychology thesis reports. I have no idea why all my classmates’ thesis reports were right in front of me during that time. And then, by reflex, I had a glance on how she writes and forms her sentences on that thesis while another friend of mine who was beside me checked who has the highest score in class. It was actually just a glance I am not kidding. I was not even reading a whole paragraph and I didn’t even try to read the whole thesis and understand what she wrote.
 
This was what I found out. Usually, I will write a sentence like this, “The weather is hot”…for her, she made her sentence like this, “The weather is scorching hot.” That was what I caught from that seconds of glance on her psychology thesis.
 
Then, what I did next was for my next psychology assignment, I tried to write exactly that way. Guess what everyone? My grade was usually B- and C. And then all my thesis and overall grades turned out to A+, A- after that.
 
Funny, right? I was surprised with the results, it was crazy. I was like wow just like that? So, I used that formula for my marketing thesis too during that time and it works all damn good. I was so impressed how it turns out.
 
Another most important moment in that timeline was what happened after that. Since then, my confidence to write kept building up. And I didn’t stop writing. It is not only about writing, but also the confidence to write the contents and let people to read. Because of that confidence, the difference was so obvious. This was like a big change that made a lot of difference in my interest to express myself and my feelings into words. Since then, I have been writing articles related to handwriting analysis, motivation, poems and even have the courage to publish it in my websites and also as physical books for people to read.
 
I have been writing poems in my second language since I was in secondary school but never had the courage to publish it. But since that moment, like I said the confidence just keep building up.
 
This is exactly the same when I am planning to produce and write the contents for this podcast. I know that there are so much for me to add or improve but I also know if I don’t start to speak and broadcast what I had written for my podcasts, I will never do it ever. I managed to get rid of all those excuses that I created for myself when I wanted to publish my podcasts. Excuses like I don’t like my voice, or I will be sharing my deepest secrets that I have kept and what if my friends or family listens to it. Or excuses like my room is not suitable for podcast recording because of the echo blah blah blah. So, what I did is to fight off those excuses and worries I had in my mind and go ahead with it anyway.
 
Remember that it is not about perfection in the writing. For sure there will still be mistakes and errors in the use of grammar and how you express yourself. Nothing will be perfect until you start on practising what you have in mind into writing. Listen … the most important thing is you work on your goals. Then gradually make improvements along the way.
 
Also meanwhile, please don’t stress yourself. Do all these steps at your own pace and whenever needed. Do not compare with others. You can use them as a model goal but never ever underestimate your potential.
 
I would like to wish you all the best in developing your writing skills. A simple quote for you before I end this episode… Write, read, edit, re-write and remember to publish.
 
See you next week. Byeee

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Have you ever experienced a moment or maybe moments in your life that you feel stuck? You may have everything which you have dreamed of since you were fifteen and then two decades later you have attained most of your goals gradually throughout the years. Then, you start to ask yourself what are the reasons in the first place you are here in this world when you have everything right now. You have the house of your dreams. Cars of your dreams. Qualifications and certifications as you had seek since you were fifteen. Traveled around the world. But still, you asked yourself what actually is your purpose in life, in this world. Are these the only journey that I need to pursue? Or should I do something else? You continuously kept aiming higher. Can say that you are happy with yourself and your achievements. You appreciated everything you had attained.  So, what else? Should you set these on repeat until you are 80? 

I kept asking myself this over and over again in the recent 3 to 4 years. Frankly, yes I am grateful that every time I have this question in mind, my social media timeline, feeds and #fyp will be filled with motivations from other individuals around the world with similar questions that they asked themselves and also they came up with words of wisdom to keep moving forward. There are people who discussed about the quantum possibilities in life. The unlimited and infinite. Also there are those who focused on the 'Now', appreciating and going through life in the moment to avoid anxiety and worries of the future. Those who suggested to keep moving on and do something else other than the usual and so on...

After watching those, I realised that those experiences each and every individuals had shared fit my life in practical when I integrate those perspectives and motivations for a better balance. And usually I will continuously open myself to any changes in the way I think, and how my thoughts and my thinking process impacted the way I feel and also any actions I will be taking.

Every time I feel like I am stuck, I will look into what I had foresee myself to be in the next 5 to 10 years. And for me, I had to imagine materials gaining to be part of my goals just so I do not feel bored. In fact, recently I have no shame to think of my life with only me sitting in the house of my dreams and merely write my books, articles, scripts, recording my podcasts and videos and not to worry about anything else including money and all. Well, I can say I am already doing those now but I decided to allow myself to think larger than this.

When I was a teen, I used to have an imagination that I will build my own house but over the years I feel like that dream is so temporary meaning owning a house. When I got to achieve my other dreams, I realized that I do not actually need a huge place. Actually if this world is safe, I do not mind staying anywhere but well let that thoughts be reserved for the afterlife. But since recently I have everything I had wanted (both the material aspect and humane contributions), I am kind of bored so I decided to venture my mind to think into attaining something larger than the usual goals I had for myself. I feel like everything is possible. When I said feel, it means that I think and my mind is telling me that. So, when I managed to attain those, I will share with you the journey and achievements. Basically, these new thoughts are the ones that let me move on and keep moving forward to continue and strive for new goals. Well, just by changing that it makes a lot of difference in inspiring myself to go on everyday. 

Whenever you feel stuck, test something different for your life. Do something different everyday. Think something else other than what you are used to. And while you are doing that, remind yourself to still enjoy the moments you are living right now. Be honest to yourself. It is okay that you want to stay contented, not filled with worries about our future and if money is a thing 'no money no talk' acknowledge that. 

Baseline is the base of your sentences. If it is descending, high chances is that you are undergoing moments of dejection, disappointments, sorrow, upset, sadness and possibilities of depression. Usually I do not diagnose any disorders like depression in my consultation sessions and graphology reports, but there are traits (not only baselines) that could help to recognise whether there are any consistencies in your thinking process. I have written an article on handwritings baselines and negative emotions if you need to know more about this topic. ​

Hi Everyone! Thank you for being a great support in 2021! 
We would like to take this opportunity to wish each and everyone of you wherever you are in this world a Happy New Year 2022! Wish you have a more amazing new experiences and time with yourself and your love ones in the new year.

Thank you supporting us by trusting us to be part of your self-development and self-exploration journey. 
We look forward to still be part of your life in the years to come. Stay safe!