This article is written for the 16th episode of Grapholistic Podcast! In this episode, we shared about how you can use graphotherapy to build confidence in your handwriting, and ultimately, in yourself. Read episode 16 transcript.

As a handwriting analyst and HR and Management Consultant with over 20 years of experience, I've seen first-hand how handwriting can be a window into a person's personality and character. And one of the key traits that can hold people back in their personal and professional lives is a lack of confidence and low self-perception about oneself.

It's important to note that confidence and self-esteem are not the same thing. You can be confident in a particular area or situation, but still struggle with low self-esteem overall. Conversely, you can have high self-esteem but lack confidence in certain areas.
So, how can you use graphotherapy to build confidence in your handwriting and yourself? Let's dive in.

The first step is to identify any negative self-talk that may be holding you back. These are the thoughts and beliefs that tell you you're not good enough, smart enough, or talented enough to achieve your goals. They can be subtle, but they can have a big impact on your confidence.

One way to identify negative self-talk is by looking at your handwriting. Specifically, look at the placement of the t-bar on the t-stem. If it's low, it can signify low self-esteem and a tendency to look down on yourself. This can lead to a pessimistic outlook and a belief that you can't succeed, which can contribute to depression.

To combat this negative self-talk, use graphotherapy to practice raising the t-bar on the t-stem. Refer to image as follows. This can help you shift your mindset and start seeing yourself in a more positive light. 

Remember, don't let the t-bar fly off from its root as shown below. This can symbolize a tendency to talk but not put your words into action. ​

Another way to build confidence through graphotherapy is by examining the size and placement of your signature. If your signature is smaller than the main composition of your handwriting, it can signify a lack of confidence and a belief that you're not as good as others. Conversely, if your signature is larger, it can signify a desire for attention and recognition.

To build confidence in your signature, practice making it slightly larger than your main composition, and more prominent. This can help you feel more confident and assertive in your interactions with others.

Of course, building confidence is not just about changing your handwriting. It also requires changing your mindset and taking action to overcome your fears and doubts. Here are a few tips to help you get started:

1. First and foremost, practice positive self-talk. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones, and focus on your strengths and accomplishments rather than your weaknesses.

2. Set small, achievable goals. Start with something manageable and work your way up. Celebrate your successes along the way.

3. Step outside of your comfort zone. Try something new, even if it scares you. You might surprise yourself with what you are capable of.

4. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. Seek out friends, family members, or colleagues who will encourage and uplift you. Stay away from the ones who likes to complain and demean you. Their negative speeches could eventually let your confidence down.

In addition to these tips, consider seeking out professional help if you're struggling with low self-esteem or confidence. A therapist or counselor can help you work through your feelings and develop strategies for building your confidence and self-esteem. You can also get your handwritings analysed first to find out more about yourself that could be hidden from you all this while. And through Graphotherapy and personality development consultation, we could support your journey to building your self-esteem and confidence.

​Finally, if you're interested in learning more about graphotherapy and how it can help you build confidence in your handwriting and yourself, check out our recently published eBooks.

In conclusion, building self-confidence is a journey that takes time and effort. By using graphotherapy techniques and other strategies, you can take steps towards a more confident and fulfilling life. Remember to be patient and kind to yourself. Confidence is not something that is fixed or unattainable - it is a skill that can be developed and nurtured.

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Grapholistic Podcast Transcripts EPISODE 15 SEASON 1 
Written and Produced by S.Sulianah (Graphologist, Founder and HR and Management Consultant)
Grapholistic International
​www.grapholistic.com

Hi Everyone, welcome back to another episode of Grapholistic Podcast. The pod all about handwritings and characters analysis.

I am your podcaster, Sulianah. I am also the founder, the Graphologist and HR and Management Consultant of Grapholistic International.

Grapholistic International is a company which I had started for over 20 years specializing on personality development using the science of handwriting analysis.

​In this episode I will continue to the next trait that could lower your self-esteem, which is timidity.

Feeling timid is not only something which you will feel, in fact, if you have this, it will be obvious on the eye of the beholder. That is to anyone you are talking to. When you enter the room, it can be felt from your aura, your posture, your eyes and also the way you speak. This is something not only you are thinking to yourself like you are not as good as anyone else, you are looking down at yourself, you don’t look as good as them, you have a low status and all, these thoughts you have about yourself can be sensed by the other person who is observing you or who is having a conversation with you.

In which whenever this happens, that thoughts you have about yourself will gradually or sometimes in an instant lower your self-esteem and your self-confidence. Ask yourself why do you feel like this especially when you are with other people, whenever you are with your friends, your co-workers or anytime you socialize in public. 

Now the question is how can I not feel timid? How to not release that weak energy within myself? How can I get rid of the unassured way of thinking out of my mind and my day-to-day habits?
​

1. First and foremost, you must learn to change the way you speak to yourself. Never ever talk to yourself in a downgrading negative way. This includes the tone of voice you use to yourself. As simple as I can do better in a positive encouraging way, or I thought you said You can do better to yourself in a discouraging sarcastic way.
   
   
2. Next what you can do is; you have to learn to also identify your strengths and then be grateful with that good side of you. As modest as being able to wake up every morning.
   
   
3. The third point is, stop comparing yourself with others. This will not only get rid of your inferiority mindset, it will also help you get rid of anxiety and panic anticipating the unnecessary. Remember this, everyone of us has our own life. We are more concerned about how we look instead of how others does. We are more focus on whether we get to achieve our goals or how we can complete our daily tasks everyday. We usually do not have time or concerns to think about you. Unless we are interested in you. Even if someone is interested in you, he or she will be thinking about you in a way that they like you, and the times they had with you that are usually positive moments.
   
   So, don’t worry too much if you are concern about what others are thinking about you or whether you are better than them. Well, that is a good sign for you to also not compare yourself with them. 
   
   
4. And another point which you need to learn to train your mind are the perspectives you have for your personal growth. If you noticed that you have specific weaknesses or another word that I prefer to use instead of weakness is limitations, and you think that it can be changed, then do something to it. Find ways to improve on it. Make it a goal to change. For yourself not for others. Because if you do for others usually it will not last. But if you do for yourself, to be better at it then usually you will have longer stamina to complete those goals. Then, when you ended up improved and be good at that, no need to be perfect though, you can use it for the benefit of others. Whatever it is, the first thing is to learn to train yourself first before sharing with others so you will have more confident with whatever you intend to contribute.

You might still be wondering whether your low self-confidence has anything to do with being inferior about yourself.

One of the ways you can check is by using the science of handwriting analysis. Another word for the study of handwritings is called graphology that is by checking through the presence or absence of specific traits on your handwriting.

There is no simple rule like 1+1=2 when analysing handwriting. There is no rule that says having one trait correlates to another handwriting trait. I cannot say to you now that everyone with handwriting traits that shows timidity will also have low self-esteem or low productivity. That is not how analysis work. When I analyse handwritings I will be looking at the entity as a whole. But for the sake of explaining in this audio, I will be brief so you can learn the simplest part of it. 

If you would like to see the visual explanations, you can visit our website at www.grapholistic.com or our YouTube Channel, Grapholistic International.

Usually based on the analysis of handwritings, I will asked feedbacks from the individuals during the handwriting analysis sessions whether they did behaved specifically like that, or think like that according to their personality.

As for the cases or instances when I noticed timidity traits on handwritings, 99.9% of the time these individuals do experienced, feel and think that way.

What are the handwriting traits that can be identified that signifies timidity, inferiority, lack of courage and anything similar to that? 

Go and find a notebook or a paper. Write 3 to 4 lines of sentences on a paper or you can use your notes which you had written recently. Remember to add in your signature. Let us see if whatever your negative thoughts that you have in your mind has anything to do with timidity.

​I am going to share with you four handwriting traits here.

1. The first trait, check your right margin. How far did you end your sentences? Is it near to the right margin or far away? If the space is far from your right margin, that is roughly about 1.5 ~ 1.8 inches and above. This handwriting trait signifies over cautiousness, that stops you from moving forward or moving on. When you have this trait, you will be worried that any decisions you make will fail and it will ruin you or others. You will be worried and afraid to move forward and to be in your future.

In terms of socializing, usually you will feel uneasy when you are in contact with others, hence you will avoid to be in that situations.

​2. Another handwriting trait is to check whether there are very wide spacing between your sentences. If you noticed you write like this, this trait signifies isolation. You have the need to keep a distance from anyone around you. You usually feel that your privacy and your space is being invaded.

​3. The third handwriting trait would be the size of your signature. Is it smaller than your main text? Your main text is the main part of your notes and compositions. If your signature is smaller than your main text, this signifies lack of courage and confidence in your personality. 

4. In addition, if your signature is not only smaller than your main text but you placed it on the left side of the paper, then the intensity of this trait will be higher. Especially when you are in social settings, you would usually end up in the circle of friends that you are already comfortable with or maybe ended up not joining the gathering at all. Because from your perspective, you do not feel confident about yourself. I am not talking about avoiding the group of people that might not match your personality or they are the bad mean group of friends that of course in this case you should avoid. What I meant here is how you perceived yourself in comparison to when you are with others. You might feel like you are small, you have no talents, you are incapable, you are poor, you have no status, you are a loser. Those kind of perspectives you have towards yourself when in fact you are not any of those in actual. 

The next step is how to change your timidity personality trait through changing your handwriting apart from the solution I shared earlier? With this method called Graphotherapy, which is a technique to change your personality through your handwriting. 

​1. Consciously end your sentences nearer to the right margin. Not till the edge. Leave at least 0.5 to 0.8 inches. If you write till the edge, it will have a different point of significance. So don’t do that.

Then talk to your mind and to yourself and says that “Whatever there are in the past let go of it. Use those past experiences as reminder just so I will not repeat the same mistakes if needed to. Other than that, it is time to let go and move forward. There are more beautiful and wonderful experiences waiting for me. I attract only people with positivity and good energy and intention.”

​2. Then when you continue on the next line, just leave a moderate space between sentences. Sometimes if you change one handwriting trait, another handwriting will change automatically. As for this, observe whether there is any changes after you tried Graphotherapy for the first one. 

​3. Moving on to the third point, the other change that you can alter on your handwriting would be to adjust the size of your signature. Increase it to either the same size like your main text or you can increase your signature in 0.2 to 0.4x larger than your main text. Not too big just moderately larger. Remember that your signature signifies how you represent yourself in public. That is your public relation. If your signature is small, that shows how you want yourself to be perceived by your boss, your colleagues, your friends and anyone you randomly meet in public. 

4. The last handwriting trait which I mentioned was the small signature and the placement of your signature on the paper. As for this, I am not going to tell you to use Graphotherapy to adjust where to sign on your paper. Because you have to feel comfortable with yourself first before heading towards being openly comfortable to socialize with others.

And also, for this trait usually if a person is comfortable to be with others, they will automatically sign on the right side of the paper. And if not, it is still okay as long as you do not feel lack of courage when you are with people. 

Okay everyone that is all for this episode. Remember that any thoughts that you allow to enter your mind will make a difference to the way you lead your life, the way you portray your physical self, the people you will attract to be part of you, and how you will be handling the challenges you encounter in your life.

And traits like timidity which is another word for lacking courage, being inferior, feeling small, thinking that you are not worth it, thinking that others are better than you are so you are not worth it and anything similar to these should not even be allowed to enter your mind, your thoughts and your feelings. Do something to it if ever you have this perspective towards yourself. 

To get your handwriting analyzed for yourself, your partner or your employees, or your interview candidates, visit our website at www.grapholistic.com to select the suitable packages ranging from basic to comprehensive graphology reports and Graphotherapy consultation. Our Graphologist is also available for events bookings, seminars and trainings wherever you are in the world.

In the meantime, I wish you will find positivity from listening to this episode.
Stay safe and have a great week ahead!

To re-post these contents on your website, social media, blogs, articles, YouTube etc, please remember to cite the Author's name, S.Sulianah, and link to her company's website www.grapholistic.com

​Author: S.Sulianah (Graphologist and Founder of Grapholistic International)
Your Handwritings and Characters Analyst
www.grapholistic.com

If you are wondering, why am I including fickle-mindedness in the list of traits that could hinder your self-esteem and development, and how could it possibly influence your self-esteem?

Apart from the self-criticism trait that was highlighted in the earlier episode, the fickle-minded trait will make you questioned yourself and continuously changing your decisions.

It shows how you are not confident with your perspectives, opinions and even your own analysis. It tells you and of course the other people that you are working with or living with, that you have no idea why you had even made that decisions in the first place.

Furthermore, this trait will not only lower the perception you have towards yourself and diminish the confidence to make decision on your own, it will also affect your relationship with others.

When you constantly decide in an erratic way, it will be unpleasant and irritating to those people who are affected by your indecision. Gradually, you will create distrusts. Those people who you are dealing with will questioned not only your leadership, most importantly your credibility and reliability.

To begin with, being inconsistent and unsure when making decisions can happen when you have no idea what is going on. Or even if you do, you may not be sure about that subject or could be that you do not have any experiences dealing in that kind of situations. 

Because you were not sure, you might be  worried that “What if your decision could affect the entire team in a wrong way, or even tear apart the whole plan?”

Well, those worries are valid. Like for instance, your team is trying to save someone from drowning. The first step probably is to dive straight to the lake which you had instructed. But then suddenly someone saw an alligator. In this case, clearly you need to change the decision by probably getting a boat or rope instead of diving straight ahead to help. Changing decision like in this case is understandable. 

The kind of fickle decisions which could make you doubt yourself, or people to doubt your reliability is when you keep changing your 'final decisions' solely relying on others’ opinions.

For instance, you have decided with your team to fix those ceiling lights in your office. As usual, you had instructed your staff to source for suppliers and purchase those lights. Once you received the delivered items 2 weeks later, out of nowhere one of your friends who came to visit you in the office suggested you change the lights to bulb instead of LED. You decided to listen to your friend’s opinion even though you had spent hours deciding with your staff that LED is less costly for your office monthly electricity expenses.

You listened to a friend who was not involved in the decision-making and has no idea what is going on. The point is you rely on external inputs, wasting time and money. You did not even stop to think about it yourself. From your position you might not realized that your behavior is evident to your staff clearly showing how you are not confident with your own decisions and could easily be influenced. It is worst if this is not your first time. 

Because of the way he make decisions, employees do not trust him. They may look like they listened but in fact once they get out of the meeting, they let it go. It was not a surprise when employees could not handle it anymore that they decided to leave. Being fickle in small decisions for your personal one person situations may not affect anyone but if you are working in an organization, doesn’t matter whether you lead a team or not, the way you think, respond and when taking actions will impact you and other groups of people in a larger scale.

1. First and foremost, change it by being aware of your behavior and understand the way you think. You must first observe and analyze the way you respond to the surrounding and in different situations. How you will usually think, behave and respond in circumstances like when you have more time to decide, and in urgency.
   
   
2. Then, learn to focus on the problem solving instead of relying on what if you don’t listen to them, and you might lose them as your friend if you don’t consider their opinions. Build your own backbone.
   ​
   
3. If you have a boss or employee or even your partner who you think might have this character in them, you can check their handwriting slants.
   

1. In handwriting analysis, one of the handwriting traits that signifies inconsistent thinking like being fickle, you can observe that the handwriting will have variation in slants. Slants are the direction your letters are leaning to. Either left, right or upright. If the individual has inconstant decisions, their handwriting slants will be a mixture of two. The intensity will depend on the overall degree of slants and variations. 
   
   Also be careful if the person has three of this at one time in their handwriting. The person could be manipulative too. ​With reference to the previous example of an employer who I used to work with, he has two of slants mixed between left and upright most of the time. And sometimes the slants will be upright and towards the right. Yes, this could also signify someone who is flexible and in fact he was.
   
   However, if you have these traits you have to learn how and when to use it at the right place and at the right time. Because if not, the personality can turn to be an unpleasant behaviour not only to others but to your own disposition.
   
   
2. Other than that, you can also observe other traits that could possibly exists on the handwriting that signifies indecision. The variation in the size of the handwriting that is the height and or width or both of the middle zone. If it fluctuates intensively, it signifies that how he is not sure of himself. He might be okay now but, in a few minutes, he will not be.  
   
   For instance, you might notice that your employer will be so into not getting involved with the same client who has not been paying the project’s fees on-time to your company. Because of that your boss insisted he will not get involved with any new projects with them anymore. He will spend four hours talking to you about the client and how he will refuse their new project offer next time until they pay the outstanding. Then, two days later, your boss came to your room and tell you with excitement and pride that he just signed off a new agreement for a new project with the same client. Well, if this is how unpredictable your boss is, high possibility his handwriting sizes varies extremely. 
   
   
3. Another handwriting trait that will present in the person’s handwriting is low self-esteem. I had covered in earlier episode how to identify self-esteem on the handwriting. One of the low self-esteem trait is the placement of the t-bar which is below on the middle. T-bar is the horizontal line of your letter-t. If the person writes with a low t-bar, he is likely to be insecure about himself.
   
   High chances is he will doubt any of his decisions and tend to rely on others’ opinions. So, he will end up listening to someone else’s opinions instead of his especially if he has the desire to get approval from them mostly someone who sounds more authoritative.
   

1. As for variation in slants, learn to be conscious of how you write and the direction the slants is leaning to. If you tend to write upright, focus on upright. If right or left, do the same. Mixing slants slightly is okay but if too much, it will be too extreme and will definitely affect your behavior and the way you think. Be self-aware with the way you write.
2. This applies the same to the size of your handwriting. Be consistent. Not rigid just be consistent on your handwriting size.
3. As for your t-bar, write it above the middle zone. That is enough. The method of changing the handwriting is called Graphotherapy. It will take some time to noticed changes in your personality but definitely with the correct technique you will see the difference.

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Self-criticism can be developed either by ourselves or when we are brought up in that environment. The environment could be by our parents, siblings, friends you spend time with and anyone you spent your time with. This can also be developed by yourself from the past experiences and if it is self-criticizing, we can say that those are unpleasant and negative experiences which usually are the ones that had made a negative impact to you.

So, how can you identify self-criticism and whether you are experiencing this? There are signs such as you keep blaming yourself for anything wrong that had happened in your life. Any mistakes or tragedy that had happened which sometimes might not be even related to you but because of external factors but you still put the blame on yourself. Other than that, are the way you speak to yourself. Like “Urgh you are so stupid” “Or you can do better. You should have done better”. The tone of your voice which you used with yourself is negative, the same like how those others speak to you.

1. Firstly, you have to be self-aware that you are doing this to yourself.
2. Then, you need to learn to respect yourself. Whenever that voice seeps into your thoughts, your mind, you have to change it immediately to something that is inspiring and positive.
3. Immediately shut off that voice from finishing its sentences and clouding your mind. Visualize it from being cut off from entering the physical brain, from entering your frontal cortex and gradually the nerves of your whole-being. Quickly change your words into the good part of your imagination.
4. And then whenever you made a mistake, don’t dwell on it. Sometimes we have a tendency to remember moments that were embarrassing, or like Damn I shouldn’t say that. I would too like then I will say Fuck shit. But then what you have to do is to say to yourself, “Ah… I don’t think they even remember that moment. Forget about it.” You will be surprised on how this will work well and you will eventually forget about those unnecessary memories.
5. And remember not to let others include you in their self-criticizing. I used to have a friend who did this. During conversations with our friends when she would like to talk about her own body size, she will mention me and her. So, in response to that, usually I will ignored her remarks. Whenever I don’t find worth it to argue and waste my time with ignorance, I will rather not talk about it in front of the person especially if I observed that it is not worth it. However, eventually, ten years later, I was in my clearer mind and brave enough to distanced myself from her and listen to my instinct to avoid similar individuals who keeps bringing me down.  

One of the handwriting trait that signifies self-criticizing is a sharp stroke of your t-bar. Check your small letter-t. The horizontal stroke is called the t-bar. If you write from right to left and the bar is sharp like a dagger, that is one of the self-criticizing handwriting traits. Usually, it will be written from right to left and is sharp.
 
And another handwriting traits is the i-dot. When you write your small letters I, the dot is not round. It is slashed and downward direction which is written from top to down instead of just the usual dot.
 
The other handwriting trait would be your signature. Individuals who has the tendency or habit of criticizing themselves will strike-off the signature, even if it is a small part of the signature. 

Firstly, for your letter t-bar.
Write the opposite of it. Write from left to right for the t-bar strokes. Or if you are comfortable with writing from right to left, mellow down on the sharp dagger like stroke.
 
Secondly, as for the i-dot, just dot your letter i. That is why it is called i-dot. Mellow it down by jotting a dot instead of aiming downwards towards yourself.
 
Lastly, as for the signature, remove the strike line. If you would like to underline, write it below your signature. Do not touch the signature. That is it.
 
Practice these whenever you have the chance to write. While writing, remember to change your mindset and psycho your mind by telling yourself that you can improve on not being hard to yourself and not criticizing anything that you do. If it is unpleasant or you make a mistake, just change the way you do things so you will not make the same error again and then let it go. Keep in mind that anything is possible, if you want to change like you want to you will change.

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This article is an excerpt from the new episode 11 from Grapholistic Podcast written by S.Sulianah. The pod all about handwritings and characters analysis. I am your podcaster, S.Sulianah. I am also the founder and the Graphologist for Grapholistic International. Grapholistic International is a company which I had started since 2005 focusing on personality development and handwritings and characters analysis.
 
In episode 1, I promised that Phase 5 which is the self-defence episode will be aired in episode 9. However, I made a lot of changes and decided to revamp my podcast structure to make it more detailed for you to follow through. So, now we are at episode 12 which I would like to share more details on the traits that could lower your self-esteem first just so you can avoid it during the course of building the foundation of your personality.
 
In this episode, I will then share with you how to learn more about yourself and the level of your self-esteem using the science of handwriting analysis. Just for your info, another term for studying the science of handwritings is called graphology. I will also share with you how you can identify and change your handwriting with a technique called Graphotherapy in order to improve your personality.
 
The Graphotherapy technique is a method that I have used to build my personal self-esteem and confidence. And so far over the course of 20 to 27 years I have used it, it is molding into who I am today. 

​These are the traits which I found out that had affected my self-esteem during the time when I was in my teenage years.
 
The traits that directly and also indirectly could bring your self-confidence down. The traits that could impact the way you speak to people, and most importantly to yourself. These are some of the significant traits which could lower your self-esteem.

1. Self-critical
2. Fickle mindedness
3. Timidity
4. Low self-confidence
5. Sarcastic
6. Sensitive to criticisms
7. Not being trustworthy
8. Comparing with others
9. Too concern of what others think about you
10. Spending your time with the wrong people
11. Allowing others to disrespect you

 
Even at moments when you have set your goals, change bad habits, developing your skills and successfully achieving those goals, if these traits are still present in you and you let it grow with you, it will make your life uncomfortable, you will end up not being grateful with your accomplishments, and eventually will cause distress and lower your self-confidence. The goals you set and the life you have to live on should not be causing you stress or pain. It should motivate you to live your life and be happy with yourself.
 
You will wonder why do people still don’t feel happy when they have everything? Sometimes they will feel like everything are not enough when they have more than enough, when they have everything that they ever wanted. So, why? Because all these traits are still embedded in their personality. If you experienced this issue with yourself which is you will constantly criticize yourself, then you have to learn how to stop doing that.
 
 
Then you may ask now how can you stop doing that? How can you manage or eliminate these traits from your personality?
 
In the upcoming episodes, I will share with you how to improve these traits using the Graphotherapy technique. And if you are interested to know how to first know whether it is present on your handwriting and how to then eliminate or reduce these traits by changing your handwriting, continue to listen to the next episode.

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​The next important point is while you are telling your story, learn to also be attentive to observe the other person’s body language. Listen to their body language. It is a response to the message you are delivering. If you talk to a person, firstly make sure they are having eye contact with you. For instance, when you are sharing your ideas at work and your boss is busy typing his proposal and doing something and not looking at you, please stop. Don’t waste time talking to him. You can either immediately stop talking, or you can say to him “Seems like you are busy. I will come back later when you are available to have a discussion.”
 
If you are talking to a friend, if he or she is not looking at you most of the time or she kept checking her phone, you can learn to stop immediately or cut the conversation to the end. The things you are saying is not valuable to them but to you it is important. Save it for others who wants to listen.
 
So, if you are the type of person who talks so much then this is also a good point for you to learn and be aware of the feedbacks especially body language. Doesn’t matter what type of category of personality you are or the type of person you are, you have to learn when to stop talking. Do not give yourself excuses that you cannot. We all come from the same origins for sure you can adapt to situations and not giving excuses that you are that type of person or you are not that type of person. When it comes to respecting others, there is no leeway.
 
So, when you talk a lot, be attentive to body language of a person you are speaking to. They could be very tired listening to only you talking. This can be seen when they fidget too much or their eyes are already on somewhere else in the room other than you. When their feet or body is pointing towards the exit, those are some signs that you should know and learn to stop talking.  
 
I used to have an ex-colleague from the company’s sales department who talks a lot. If you read Thomas Erikson’s book surrounded by Idiots and Psychopaths, this ex-colleague of mine is in the Yellow category. Every time he talked, he will talked non-stop. At first I can manage to listen to him and casually respond to him. But then, gradually, when I realized that his vessels are empty I decided to change my style whenever he had conversation with me. I will turn only half of my posture to him whenever he comes into my room to tell me something. And I will make sure my hands are on my keyboard and my chair directing towards my computer instead of him. When he tells me something, I will only replied, with “Okay. Noted. Got it.” No more questions. He will leave in less than 2 minutes in comparison to 30 to 60 minutes in my room.  So for instance, if you encounter with similar situations in your workplace or your personal conversations with people, you have to know the basics in communication. And then play around with it according to the settings you are in.
 
Same goes to the earlier example when your friend inserted her story while you are sharing yours. You can stop them and say “I am telling my story which you wanted to know. So, this is about me not you. Please let me finish”. Usually I will go with compromising and be nice but when I noticed that the individuals will not listen to themselves, I will be honest to them. I have heard stories of people sharing about how their friends don’t listen to them or refused to acknowledge them or gaslighting. And for sure this will affect your personal happiness and self-esteem and even relationship with the person. Just remember one thing, focus on your instinct and what it tells you about your comfort level with the individuals. You can change yourself but you do not have control to tell others to change. So, decide based on what you think is right for you and keep moving forward. 

Hello Everyone!! Welcome back to another episode of Grapholistic Podcast. The pod all about handwritings and characters analysis. I am your podcaster, S.Sulianah.
 
In this episode, we are taking an in-depth look at Phase 4 in developing your communication skills. This episode I will teach you how to enhance your writing skills.  These are practical ways that will be helpful to guide you when you find that your writing skills is a bit questionable. When you realized that it is not up to a certain standard or you feel like you need to improve it.
 
Before you go ahead to apply for a course on how to write creatively or fluently to improve this writing skills of yours, the first step is to know what you want out of being skillful in your writing. Such as is it to get better grades, to write a convincing presentation, to publish your books, to write scripts and many other possible reasons.  Because there are many courses out there that have different objectives. If you want to write for your books, then it is better to look for courses that is related to authorship and publishing instead of writing movie scripts. If you want to improve on your English writing skills as a beginner, it is better to look for courses that fits the level you are looking for. Focus on your main objectives.
 
The second step is to focus first on your basics like grammar, forming sentences, using the correct vocabulary that suits the environment you are in. You can learn bombastic vocabulary which I used to do but nowadays I can rely on thesaurus to help add more spice to the words in my articles. As for conversation like this, I will usually use the simplest words depending on my audience.  
 
 
The third step is to keep writing. Write in private before publishing anything if you have no confident yet to let people read your contents. Start by writing on your diary about your daily feelings and thoughts. Write about your ideas. Write your own blogs. When you travel, write about your experiences, the food you eat, how you feel about the landscapes and the people you met. When you read books or articles, watch movies or went to a concert or listen to a music album, write your opinions about it like a review. Apply what you had learnt in those courses you had taken and test whether it is practical. If writing a full paragraph is too heavy for you, start with writing mind maps or in points first. Then, gradually from there build your momentum. 
 
The last step is to let people read what you had written. This part usually will develop when it is time. There will this moment when you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and opinions and feelings to strangers. These could be through any forms like blogs, books, articles, websites, newspapers, magazines or even writing to your friends. It doesn’t mean that you felt that whatever you had written are perfect. I don’t believe in 100% perfection in writing because there will be at some points on the final article there could still be space for improvements even after final edit and after you published.

​I hope you get all the main four points. So, now what are the possible challenges that you might face while trying to achieve your target to be a published author, or well-known quality scriptwriter or even having A+ for your thesis, for your reports?
 
Firstly, remember that all these steps are to be done phase by phase. It takes time. When I say time means months and years. So, keep writing and keep learning. Do not give up.
 
When your readers shared with you their perspectives on what you had written, listen. Then if you would like to tell them why you wrote like that, tell them your points respectfully. They are your readers and usually for me I will listen to those who reads my contents but not to people who criticized but didn’t even care about reading what I had written. So focus on your readers, your followers and your fans.
 
Secondly, since your main goal is to be better in your writing skills, you have to be opened to learn and gain new knowledge. If you disagree with the instructor’s opinions and teachings in class or lectures, process the information first before telling her or him that you disagree or if you do not like what was shared. Be respectful.
 
Also, there is no need to be embarrassed when you want to take any courses. Doesn’t matter your age, your status quo, or any excuses that you have in mind. When I was in secondary 1, I told my dad to enrol for me a creative English class because I feel like I was really weak with my English writing skills. The class was conducted in one of the community centers near my place and the instructor was quite detailed with the technicality which for me was what I needed during that time. I was not embarrassed to request my dad to help me register for it and telling him frankly I need to improve. And when I had completed that course, I felt one more level of confidence achieved because I get to learn new techniques which raised my knowledge and skills in writing.
 
The third challenge is applying whatever you had learnt into actions. Because it will be such a waste of money and time if you don’t. Frankly, I don’t apply everything I had learnt because there are a load of information to be applied. So, I will selectively apply whenever I needed it. But don’t waste your money and time if you don’t think that is what you want.
 
The fourth point is made sure you complete everything and never ever do anything halfway and leave without finishing your tasks. Again, it will be waste of money and time if you do things halfway or you study halfway. If you are 1/3 working on it, and you get tired of it like really you hated it not because you feel lazy about, if you really hated it, find out why. Is it because of the course’s syllabus or the instructor? Is it because somebody told you that it is not worth it? Is it because you have no energy to do it anymore? That is why before you embark on anything, or register your application, think first.
 
And on the other type of challenges especially when you start writing a book, why are you doing it halfway? You have to ask yourself why can’t you finish it? Possible reasons when you are unable to finish the book you are writing are for instance there is still not much evidence to support your theory so you need more time, it could be because you think you have writers’ block, or probably you need to be heartbroken first to finish the poetry book. Find out the reasons and attempt to it immediately. Do not drag. Just for your information, whenever you have writers’ block, go grab a book and read. This will make you go back to writing fluently and complete it within the next few days. About the heartbroken or frustrated situations, sometimes this could be a trigger to make you write. My first poetry book that I published years ago it was an immediate decision which I managed to compile all the poems I had written over the years and publish it within 2 to 3 days. My 2nd poetry book was when I was a little bit heartbroken and I wanted to shut off the chapter immediately, so I wrote the last few pages in a day and then proceed to publish it after a week. As for my latest book, Be Brave : Uncensored Motivational Quotes, it took me about 8 hours to write all the quotes plus 2 days to add in details to the backstory of those quotes before I proceed to publish it. This was written when I wanted to vent my last few feelings of frustrations towards a group of individuals. So, because I wanted to change to a new chapter in my life, I had to let go of the past in that way.
 
Make full use of your current situations to complete your writing tasks and goals. This is one of the possible important reasons to complete your writings.

Before I end this episode, I have a story to share with you, my personal journey when I was trying to improve my writing skills.
 
Over the years, my writing skills had the ups and downs moments. It was not like I became so good in a year after doing all those steps I just shared with you earlier. But there is one significant moment that happened about 14 years ago which made a lot of difference to this journey and I can say after that it goes up gradually in a positive way.
 
14 years ago when I was taking my part-time bachelor degree, I encountered with problems of not having good results for my psychology thesis. Just so you know, I was a business management student and psychology was foreign to me. The requirements for their reports are totally different from when I was doing my diploma in business management, 5 years before that. My thesis grades were like C, B- It was actually stressing me out in a way that my psychology modules grades were not as good as when I was taking my diploma.
 
There was this classmate of mine who I admired who is now one of my closest friends. She is so good in her conversational and writing skills. I was exposed to her everyday which made me want to make sure I can speak well like her. She is so fluent in her conversation that sometimes she can be witty and will always make me laughed. I don’t laugh easily usually. And not only the way she speaks, apparently she is also good in writing. I mean her background study was in law and she probably speaks English with her family.
 
Anyway, remember when I mentioned in earlier episode about having a model that you have to imagined you would like to be like as your target before you start improving on certain skills? Okay, this friend of mine was my model target.
 
I said to myself literally, and in my prayers daily that I want to speak and write as fluent as her. Yes guys, if you pray at home whatever your beliefs are, please do it in a way that when you pray say in detailed. I have said this many times in my podcast too. Prayers is actually saying it out loud to yourself what you want and need, your problems, your thoughts. Some may called this the manifestation technique.
 
For this case, I literally mentioned my friend’s name and the aspects that I want to improve for myself and which part of her skills that I would like to improve myself on. So, in terms of the communication aspect of her, I admired how she is so fluent when she speaks. She could express herself well and also so cool when she said something witty. I was on the other hand during that time more to like yes, was confident, but I feel like constricted to speak out what I feel or think. I felt that was because I was thinking about how my English language was not that good in terms of forming sentences and not using the correct grammar. Oh, before I forget, during this period, my reading habit was slacking too. I was too much focused on my daily work in office and responsibilities that I did not even spend time to read. Just so you know, this is one of the reasons.
 
One day, I accidentally read one of her psychology thesis reports. I have no idea why all my classmates’ thesis reports were right in front of me during that time. And then, by reflex, I had a glance on how she writes and forms her sentences on that thesis while another friend of mine who was beside me checked who has the highest score in class. It was actually just a glance I am not kidding. I was not even reading a whole paragraph and I didn’t even try to read the whole thesis and understand what she wrote.
 
This was what I found out. Usually, I will write a sentence like this, “The weather is hot”…for her, she made her sentence like this, “The weather is scorching hot.” That was what I caught from that seconds of glance on her psychology thesis.
 
Then, what I did next was for my next psychology assignment, I tried to write exactly that way. Guess what everyone? My grade was usually B- and C. And then all my thesis and overall grades turned out to A+, A- after that.
 
Funny, right? I was surprised with the results, it was crazy. I was like wow just like that? So, I used that formula for my marketing thesis too during that time and it works all damn good. I was so impressed how it turns out.
 
Another most important moment in that timeline was what happened after that. Since then, my confidence to write kept building up. And I didn’t stop writing. It is not only about writing, but also the confidence to write the contents and let people to read. Because of that confidence, the difference was so obvious. This was like a big change that made a lot of difference in my interest to express myself and my feelings into words. Since then, I have been writing articles related to handwriting analysis, motivation, poems and even have the courage to publish it in my websites and also as physical books for people to read.
 
I have been writing poems in my second language since I was in secondary school but never had the courage to publish it. But since that moment, like I said the confidence just keep building up.
 
This is exactly the same when I am planning to produce and write the contents for this podcast. I know that there are so much for me to add or improve but I also know if I don’t start to speak and broadcast what I had written for my podcasts, I will never do it ever. I managed to get rid of all those excuses that I created for myself when I wanted to publish my podcasts. Excuses like I don’t like my voice, or I will be sharing my deepest secrets that I have kept and what if my friends or family listens to it. Or excuses like my room is not suitable for podcast recording because of the echo blah blah blah. So, what I did is to fight off those excuses and worries I had in my mind and go ahead with it anyway.
 
Remember that it is not about perfection in the writing. For sure there will still be mistakes and errors in the use of grammar and how you express yourself. Nothing will be perfect until you start on practising what you have in mind into writing. Listen … the most important thing is you work on your goals. Then gradually make improvements along the way.
 
Also meanwhile, please don’t stress yourself. Do all these steps at your own pace and whenever needed. Do not compare with others. You can use them as a model goal but never ever underestimate your potential.
 
I would like to wish you all the best in developing your writing skills. A simple quote for you before I end this episode… Write, read, edit, re-write and remember to publish.
 
See you next week. Byeee

To re-post these contents on your website, social media, blogs, articles, YouTube etc, please remember to cite the Author's name, S.Sulianah, and link to her company's website www.grapholistic.com

What is the meaning of self-esteem? Self-esteem is how you look at yourself and how you perceive yourself. It has nothing to do with what do others perceived of you or how others feel about you. It is about the perception you have towards yourself, your self-value and self-worth during your high and lows moments. Just so you know, it is not about self-confidence. Self-confidence is in self-esteem. Even though you have self-confidence, it does not mean that you have a healthy self-esteem.

Low self-esteem is the negative opposite of healthy self-esteem. When you have a low self-esteem, your self-doubt is more superior than any positive thoughts you have. ​

Low self-esteem can be caused by several factors. It could be developed within you over the years which are influenced by your experiences with others and/or others influencing you. 

• You might be brought up by parents or guardians who pull you down even though you have accomplished in your studies and your career.
• The people you hangout with are influencing you in a negative way that influenced the way you think and behave.
• You might not be aware that you have a low self-esteem all this while. Without self-awareness, you might not realized that the causes of your fear and worries all this time could be due to your low self-esteem. To find out whether you are having a low self-esteem, you can submit your handwriting to us (Grapholistic International) and get it analyzed. 
• Once you are self-aware about yourself, then you have to move forward to improve this limitation so that you can keep moving forward and be grateful about your talents, and you as a person.
• Your past experiences could also be another factor that might be limiting you as a person, limiting your perception towards yourself, the beliefs that you are actually capable to do anything you imagined. These experiences, whether traumatizing, failures or anything that was not positive, were something that made you worry to try one more time. 

I have written this how to be happy article is because I just found that this seems to be a hot search topic. Furthermore, I noticed that everyone has different experiences and lifestyle so this write-up might or might not be practical. The ones that I listed here and talk about in one of my podcasts, Grapholistic Podcast, is to motivate individuals to have the courage to realize that happiness is within themselves. It is all in there, within you. There is no need to search for it in someone else or in any part of the world. Happiness is inhibited within you. You only need to resurfaced that feelings.

The first and foremost step is to be self-aware of your own character and personality. The foundation step to realizing and knowing about yourself. What you like and the triggers that could test your patience. Learning about your character is part of this step which will take some time for you to be comfortable with who you are. The results of this process can also be a defense mechanism when you encounter with challenges in your life. 

Secondly, is be aware of the surrounding which means that you have to self-reflect on the presence around you including other living entity such as the trees, animals, insects and humans. These could then develop you to feel at peace and also know that you are not alone. You will feel lighter when you have any problems.

Third step. This step is such a sensitive part to highlight but I find that it has been a pattern and consistent in my life when I deal with people. I realized recently too from posts in social media that this is a global human concerns --- Trust. Trusting someone and also be a person who is trustworthy.

Sometimes, you feel like you can trust strangers more than your family or friends because you know that hardly you will see them again. They might share your story to others but high probability those are not the people you know. Recently, I encountered with a situation on trust and I responded it in a way that those group of friends did not anticipated. I am considered a person with patience. Which means, I can stand and close one eye with remarks or comments that are unpleasant to me for years or for decades. It is not healthy but some things that I don't see everyday, I can mold it to be shifted in the unnecessary category in my life.

Recently, which is a couple months ago, there was this situation when I told this friend (@Emma) not to tell another friend (@Maya) first about the t-shirt which Maya gifted us because I couldn't fit in. I planned to actually take the design and make it into a t-shirt of my size so I can wear it later. Specifically, I told Emma not to tell Maya first because I do not want to hurt Maya's feelings until I told her myself. The reason I told Emma was because this group of friends planned to wear this shirt in our next outing. And guess what.. Emma told Maya. I found this out from Maya herself which she asked me in a nice way. I like Maya and did not want to hurt her feelings but instead I planned to surprise her with my idea of making it into another shirt. And I was not pissed off at her. But I was really pissed off at Emma. That was like the first within that 2 months Emma broke my trust. 

Then, subsequently, Emma behaved similarly by telling Maya again on the day I rented a car to drive to Maya's house for a birthday celebration. I found this out when Maya told me to drive safely on that day. I was like how did you know? And she emoji smiled at me. The only person who knew is Emma because we planned to surprise Maya and another friend of ours for their birthday. That day was like the maximum patience I had. Not counting the unpleasant time and friction I have been saving for the past 2 to 3 months whenever I was with them.  

I had totally forgotten about Emma's character which was told by a mutual friend about 20 years ago. This friend told me that Emma is a person with a big mouth and not to be trusted. Like I said, I prefer not to judge and evaluate a person by someone else's experience. And when it happened to me, it was something else. I had my patience in checked in the first incident, until the second incident happened right after that which pinned my bubble of patience.

This surprisingly did affect my happiness during that time, like a trigger to my patience which I had set for the past years when with them. Things that I kept it well-packed thinking that it is small released this trigger. I could feel the friction on our last two gatherings. I am a sensitive person in this way which means I could feel if something is not right about a person, or when I am with another person. At times, I will ignore but most of the times when the condition is consistent, I will make immediate decisions. 

The story to learn here is it doesn't matter how long you have known a person. But once they break your trust, you have to make sure you do something to it instead of being in that relationship and 'try to endure it'.  Frankly, and luckily I have never share any of my secrets or about me since we were friends for the past decades. With this group of friends, I have been extra careful. Normally, I will be affectionate with friends I hangout with but not these two excluding Maya. Maya is not in this picture. So, I tried for years but I couldn't say words like 'I Miss You all' or 'I love You all' or even anything about my opinions and anything I experienced. There is always some gap and signal to avoid saying it out loud whenever I feel like telling them anything. Well, seems like my guts and instinct are accurate. 

About 20 years ago, a friend who I used to hangout with did the same too. She broke my trust with her fantasy story. More of this detailed story in my podcast. That time, I had confronted her, she denied. But that doesn't stopped me from leaving the friendship and not to waste my time to hang around with her. We were friends but I avoid hanging out with her. And again, it was another gut feeling that proves to me that my reaction was a right step. Because recently, she did say something which I made sure I did not say it out loud to her throughout our friendship comparing to what our mutual friends will say to her. Well, this time, I had to be brave again and did a total cut-off. But the reason this time was about respect and how sometimes people don't care about how we feel, which I also talked about in my podcast. 

My type of person is once I am committed to leaving, I will do 100% and never turning back. I will not block you in social media but I will block your phone number because it is annoying. My patience level when I am an adult is not as much as last time, or I can say, I have seen too much in life that I am now more courageous to act on it. If you have friends like me or whoever in your life like this, don't take it lightly and don't take advantage of them. If you want people to respect you, make sure you respect them first. 

Apart from that, if someone tells you something, a story about them or their concerns, don't use it for your advantage. Meaning that you should not ever use it as sarcasm when communicating with each other. A few days ago, a friend I normally keep in touch with by letters even though we stay in the same country, used it in his text to me. I knew what he was implying but I acted as if I don't have any idea what he is trying to say. Again, I actually was contemplating whether to tell him about something. And he also is not the kind who can keep secrets. This is based on my personal experience with him when we were studying for our diploma together. But he is the type of person who is somewhat like genuine. He reminds me of my friend, Hans, who is also this style. Cannot keep secrets until you say keep it a secret. But because they are like the innocent decent type that is why I can still consider to tell stories to them. But the difference between him and the previous cases were, this friend of mine gets it real quick. He quickly said I am sorry just ignore the message (I planned to tell him in my next letter hahahaa). Comparing to the other two situations, they will never know the reasons until they read this. So, that is the difference.

And also people ... I hated this sentence (text messages I received from the first 2 situations), "If I did or say something wrong to you, I apologize". Fuck you, guys. Stop throwing this anyhow you like. Firstly, why apologize when you don't know what was the reason you are apologizing for? Secondly, I don't think you mean it because you don't know what it is about and so you will still do it again. Well, one of them did it again years later. Lastly, I am not interested anymore. You can live without me, and I am still alive without you. 

Also, learn to build this trustworthy character within you. It is actually a charm and an exemplary character that could make people be comfortable with you and be with you. I have friends who told me secrets and I have never told anyone even when we don't keep in touch anymore. Some of those friends had told me that they are inclined to chatting with me because of how I can keep secrets and stories. And yes, this is one of the communication skills that you need to start to build because it is a principled trait for personal and business use. 

Forth, stop comparing yourself with others. Doesn't matter in which perspectives, be sure that you focus on yourself instead of others. This includes comparing yourself with your siblings, relatives and friends. That is why the first step is so important which is building the architecture of your foundation. When I was about 12 years old, my mom used to compare me with my best friend who was also my neighbor during that time. Then, when I was about 16 or 17 years old, she started to do the same again with someone else and I told her if you like that person so much, you can take her as your daughter. Since then, she did not compare me with anyone. 

Fifth, please please remember to appreciate and be grateful with your accomplishments. Be grateful. And whenever you attained something in your life, reward yourself. It could be small tasks or goals that you have set in a day-to-day basis or it could be the large scale goals. As long as you remember to give yourself a pat on your shoulder and congratulate yourself, you will be motivated to live your life everyday. Rely on yourself and not on others to congratulate you.

Ten years ago, my morning motivational clock were a friend and my office neighbor. I used to hangout with my friend/classmate in MSN chat room years ago. PS. She is now one of my closest friends. Hanging out with her during office hours while doing my work is like a motivation for me to go to work. I was happy to go to work hahahah. And also there was this office neighbor that I looked forward to meet every morning. We used to go for lunch together since when I started to say hi to her. This happened for 1 to 2 years. When MSN chat room is not a thing anymore and my office neighbor moved out, I was worried that I will not have any motivation to go to office. However, luckily during that time, I have already started to set up this foundation by focusing in building my goals and objectives. So, those changes did not affect me at all. Anyway, they are both still my friends. 

Well, these points are the ones that I can remember at the moment and also the ones that I am experiencing in my life which I find it practical to share. At anytime, something else struck me, I will keep you updated. Enjoy the video! 


​SUMMARY POINTS:
1) Be Self-Aware. Learn to observe your own behavior and feelings.
2) Be aware of your surrounding
3) Sometimes keeping opinions to yourself is better than telling others. Why?
4) Stop comparing with others
5) Appreciate and be grateful of each and every of your accomplishments.
 
Listen more on Grapholistic Podcast
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I have written this how to be happy is because of how this seems to be a hot topic and everyone has different experiences and lifestyle that might or might not find this practical. The ones that I listed here and talk about in my podcast, Grapholistic Podcast is to motivate individuals to have the courage to realize that they have this happiness within themselves. It is all in there without the need to search for it. Inhibited within you. You only need to bring it out from your within.

Firstly, is to be self-aware of your own character and personality. The main step to realizing and knowing about yourself. What you like and the triggers that could test your patience. Learning about your character is part of this step which will take some time for you to be comfortable with who you are which can also be  a defense mechanism for you when you encounter with challenges in your life. 

Secondly is be aware of the surrounding which means that you have to be there in your life to self-reflect on the presence around you including other living environment such as the trees, animals, insects and humans. These could then develop you to feel at peace and also know that you are not alone. 

Thirdly, this is such a sensitive part to highlight but I find that it has been a pattern and consistent in my life when with people. This is about trust. Trusting someone and also being a person who is trustworthy.

Sometimes, you feel like you can trust strangers more than your family or friends because you know that hardly you will see them again. They might share your story to others but high probability those are not the people you know. Recently, I encountered with a situation on trust and I responded it in a way that those group of friends did not anticipate. I am considered a person with patience, like I can stand and close one eye with remarks or comments that are unpleasant to me for years or for decades. It is not healthy but some things that I don't see everyday, I can mold it to be in the unnecessary category in my life.

So, recently, which is a couple months ago, there was this situation when I told this friend (@Emma) not to tell another friend (@Maya) first about the t-shirt which Maya gifted us because I couldn't fit in. I planned to actually take the design and make it into a t-shirt of my size so I can wear it later. Specifically, I told her not to tell first because I do not want to hurt Maya's feelings. And guess what.. she told Maya. That was like the first within that month she broke my trust. Frankly, and luckily I did not tell her any of my secrets or about me since we were friends. Well, my guts and instinct seems to have good signals.

Then, subsequently, she did the similar thing by telling the same person about something else. I totally forgotten about her character which was told by a mutual friend about 20 years ago, how she is a person who has a big mouth and not to be trusted. Like I said, I prefer not to judge a person by someone else's experience. And when it happened to me, it was something else. I was patience too in the first instance, until something else happened right after that which pinned my bubble of patience. This in fact surprisingly, did affect my happiness during that time. I was fine until this happened. But I could feel the friction on our last two gathering. I am a sensitive person in this way which I could feel if something is not right about a person or when I am with another person. The story to learn here is it doesn't matter how long you have known a person. But once they break your trust, you have to make sure you do something to it instead of being in that relationship and 'try to endure it'.

About 20 years ago, a friend who I used to hangout with did the same too broke my trust with her fantasy story. And I did the same. Confronted her, she denied but that doesn't stopped me from leaving the friendship and not to waste my time to hang around with her. And again, it was another gut feeling that proves to me that my reaction was a right step. Because recently, she did say something which I made sure I did not say it out loud to her throughout our friendship. Well, this time, it was totally a cut-off. But this time it was about respect which I also talked about in my podcast. 

My type of person is once I am committed to leaving, I will do 100% and never turning back. If you have friends like me or whoever in your life like this, don't take it lightly and take advantage. If you want people to respect you, make sure you respect them first. 

Also, learn to build this trustworthy character within you. It is actually a charm and an exemplary character that could make people be comfortable with you and be with you. I have people who told me secrets and I have never told anyone even when we don't keep in touch anymore. Some friends had told me that they are inclined to chatting with me because of how I can keep secrets and stories. And yes, this is one of the communication skills that you need to start to build because it is a principled trait for personal and business use. 

Forth, stop comparing yourself with others. Doesn't matter in what perspective be sure that you focus on yourself instead of others which includes your siblings and friends. That is why the first step is so important which is the foundation. When I was about 10 to 12 years old, my mom used to compare me with my best friend who was also my neighbor during that time. Then, when I was about 16 or 17 years old, she started to do the same again with someone else and I told her if you like that person so much, you can take her as your daughter. Since then, she did not even mentioned or compare me with anyone. 

Fifth, please please remember to appreciate and be grateful with your accomplishments. Be grateful and whenever you attained something in your life, reward yourself. It could be small tasks or goals that you have set in a day-to-day basis or it could be the large scale goals. As long as you remember to give yourself a pat on your shoulder and congratulate yourself, you will be motivated to live your life everyday. Rely on yourself and not on others to congratulate you. 

Well these points are the ones that I can remember at the moment and also the ones that I am experiencing in my life which I find it practical to share. At anytime, something else struck me, I will keep you updated. Enjoy the video! 

SUMMARY POINTS:

1) Be Self-Aware. Learn to observe your own behavior and feelings. 
2) Be aware of your surrounding
3) Sometimes keeping opinions to yourself is better than telling others. Why?
4) Stop comparing with others
5) Appreciate and be grateful of each and every of your accomplishments.

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