What is the meaning of self-esteem? Self-esteem is how you look at yourself and how you perceive yourself. It has nothing to do with what do others perceived of you or how others feel about you. It is about the perception you have towards yourself, your self-value and self-worth during your high and lows moments. Just so you know, it is not about self-confidence. Self-confidence is in self-esteem. Even though you have self-confidence, it does not mean that you have a healthy self-esteem.

Low self-esteem is the negative opposite of healthy self-esteem. When you have a low self-esteem, your self-doubt is more superior than any positive thoughts you have. ​

Low self-esteem can be caused by several factors. It could be developed within you over the years which are influenced by your experiences with others and/or others influencing you. 

• You might be brought up by parents or guardians who pull you down even though you have accomplished in your studies and your career.
• The people you hangout with are influencing you in a negative way that influenced the way you think and behave.
• You might not be aware that you have a low self-esteem all this while. Without self-awareness, you might not realized that the causes of your fear and worries all this time could be due to your low self-esteem. To find out whether you are having a low self-esteem, you can submit your handwriting to us (Grapholistic International) and get it analyzed. 
• Once you are self-aware about yourself, then you have to move forward to improve this limitation so that you can keep moving forward and be grateful about your talents, and you as a person.
• Your past experiences could also be another factor that might be limiting you as a person, limiting your perception towards yourself, the beliefs that you are actually capable to do anything you imagined. These experiences, whether traumatizing, failures or anything that was not positive, were something that made you worry to try one more time. 

I have written this how to be happy article is because I just found that this seems to be a hot search topic. Furthermore, I noticed that everyone has different experiences and lifestyle so this write-up might or might not be practical. The ones that I listed here and talk about in one of my podcasts, Grapholistic Podcast, is to motivate individuals to have the courage to realize that happiness is within themselves. It is all in there, within you. There is no need to search for it in someone else or in any part of the world. Happiness is inhibited within you. You only need to resurfaced that feelings.

The first and foremost step is to be self-aware of your own character and personality. The foundation step to realizing and knowing about yourself. What you like and the triggers that could test your patience. Learning about your character is part of this step which will take some time for you to be comfortable with who you are. The results of this process can also be a defense mechanism when you encounter with challenges in your life. 

Secondly, is be aware of the surrounding which means that you have to self-reflect on the presence around you including other living entity such as the trees, animals, insects and humans. These could then develop you to feel at peace and also know that you are not alone. You will feel lighter when you have any problems.

Third step. This step is such a sensitive part to highlight but I find that it has been a pattern and consistent in my life when I deal with people. I realized recently too from posts in social media that this is a global human concerns --- Trust. Trusting someone and also be a person who is trustworthy.

Sometimes, you feel like you can trust strangers more than your family or friends because you know that hardly you will see them again. They might share your story to others but high probability those are not the people you know. Recently, I encountered with a situation on trust and I responded it in a way that those group of friends did not anticipated. I am considered a person with patience. Which means, I can stand and close one eye with remarks or comments that are unpleasant to me for years or for decades. It is not healthy but some things that I don't see everyday, I can mold it to be shifted in the unnecessary category in my life.

Recently, which is a couple months ago, there was this situation when I told this friend (@Emma) not to tell another friend (@Maya) first about the t-shirt which Maya gifted us because I couldn't fit in. I planned to actually take the design and make it into a t-shirt of my size so I can wear it later. Specifically, I told Emma not to tell Maya first because I do not want to hurt Maya's feelings until I told her myself. The reason I told Emma was because this group of friends planned to wear this shirt in our next outing. And guess what.. Emma told Maya. I found this out from Maya herself which she asked me in a nice way. I like Maya and did not want to hurt her feelings but instead I planned to surprise her with my idea of making it into another shirt. And I was not pissed off at her. But I was really pissed off at Emma. That was like the first within that 2 months Emma broke my trust. 

Then, subsequently, Emma behaved similarly by telling Maya again on the day I rented a car to drive to Maya's house for a birthday celebration. I found this out when Maya told me to drive safely on that day. I was like how did you know? And she emoji smiled at me. The only person who knew is Emma because we planned to surprise Maya and another friend of ours for their birthday. That day was like the maximum patience I had. Not counting the unpleasant time and friction I have been saving for the past 2 to 3 months whenever I was with them.  

I had totally forgotten about Emma's character which was told by a mutual friend about 20 years ago. This friend told me that Emma is a person with a big mouth and not to be trusted. Like I said, I prefer not to judge and evaluate a person by someone else's experience. And when it happened to me, it was something else. I had my patience in checked in the first incident, until the second incident happened right after that which pinned my bubble of patience.

This surprisingly did affect my happiness during that time, like a trigger to my patience which I had set for the past years when with them. Things that I kept it well-packed thinking that it is small released this trigger. I could feel the friction on our last two gatherings. I am a sensitive person in this way which means I could feel if something is not right about a person, or when I am with another person. At times, I will ignore but most of the times when the condition is consistent, I will make immediate decisions. 

The story to learn here is it doesn't matter how long you have known a person. But once they break your trust, you have to make sure you do something to it instead of being in that relationship and 'try to endure it'.  Frankly, and luckily I have never share any of my secrets or about me since we were friends for the past decades. With this group of friends, I have been extra careful. Normally, I will be affectionate with friends I hangout with but not these two excluding Maya. Maya is not in this picture. So, I tried for years but I couldn't say words like 'I Miss You all' or 'I love You all' or even anything about my opinions and anything I experienced. There is always some gap and signal to avoid saying it out loud whenever I feel like telling them anything. Well, seems like my guts and instinct are accurate. 

About 20 years ago, a friend who I used to hangout with did the same too. She broke my trust with her fantasy story. More of this detailed story in my podcast. That time, I had confronted her, she denied. But that doesn't stopped me from leaving the friendship and not to waste my time to hang around with her. We were friends but I avoid hanging out with her. And again, it was another gut feeling that proves to me that my reaction was a right step. Because recently, she did say something which I made sure I did not say it out loud to her throughout our friendship comparing to what our mutual friends will say to her. Well, this time, I had to be brave again and did a total cut-off. But the reason this time was about respect and how sometimes people don't care about how we feel, which I also talked about in my podcast. 

My type of person is once I am committed to leaving, I will do 100% and never turning back. I will not block you in social media but I will block your phone number because it is annoying. My patience level when I am an adult is not as much as last time, or I can say, I have seen too much in life that I am now more courageous to act on it. If you have friends like me or whoever in your life like this, don't take it lightly and don't take advantage of them. If you want people to respect you, make sure you respect them first. 

Apart from that, if someone tells you something, a story about them or their concerns, don't use it for your advantage. Meaning that you should not ever use it as sarcasm when communicating with each other. A few days ago, a friend I normally keep in touch with by letters even though we stay in the same country, used it in his text to me. I knew what he was implying but I acted as if I don't have any idea what he is trying to say. Again, I actually was contemplating whether to tell him about something. And he also is not the kind who can keep secrets. This is based on my personal experience with him when we were studying for our diploma together. But he is the type of person who is somewhat like genuine. He reminds me of my friend, Hans, who is also this style. Cannot keep secrets until you say keep it a secret. But because they are like the innocent decent type that is why I can still consider to tell stories to them. But the difference between him and the previous cases were, this friend of mine gets it real quick. He quickly said I am sorry just ignore the message (I planned to tell him in my next letter hahahaa). Comparing to the other two situations, they will never know the reasons until they read this. So, that is the difference.

And also people ... I hated this sentence (text messages I received from the first 2 situations), "If I did or say something wrong to you, I apologize". Fuck you, guys. Stop throwing this anyhow you like. Firstly, why apologize when you don't know what was the reason you are apologizing for? Secondly, I don't think you mean it because you don't know what it is about and so you will still do it again. Well, one of them did it again years later. Lastly, I am not interested anymore. You can live without me, and I am still alive without you. 

Also, learn to build this trustworthy character within you. It is actually a charm and an exemplary character that could make people be comfortable with you and be with you. I have friends who told me secrets and I have never told anyone even when we don't keep in touch anymore. Some of those friends had told me that they are inclined to chatting with me because of how I can keep secrets and stories. And yes, this is one of the communication skills that you need to start to build because it is a principled trait for personal and business use. 

Forth, stop comparing yourself with others. Doesn't matter in which perspectives, be sure that you focus on yourself instead of others. This includes comparing yourself with your siblings, relatives and friends. That is why the first step is so important which is building the architecture of your foundation. When I was about 12 years old, my mom used to compare me with my best friend who was also my neighbor during that time. Then, when I was about 16 or 17 years old, she started to do the same again with someone else and I told her if you like that person so much, you can take her as your daughter. Since then, she did not compare me with anyone. 

Fifth, please please remember to appreciate and be grateful with your accomplishments. Be grateful. And whenever you attained something in your life, reward yourself. It could be small tasks or goals that you have set in a day-to-day basis or it could be the large scale goals. As long as you remember to give yourself a pat on your shoulder and congratulate yourself, you will be motivated to live your life everyday. Rely on yourself and not on others to congratulate you.

Ten years ago, my morning motivational clock were a friend and my office neighbor. I used to hangout with my friend/classmate in MSN chat room years ago. PS. She is now one of my closest friends. Hanging out with her during office hours while doing my work is like a motivation for me to go to work. I was happy to go to work hahahah. And also there was this office neighbor that I looked forward to meet every morning. We used to go for lunch together since when I started to say hi to her. This happened for 1 to 2 years. When MSN chat room is not a thing anymore and my office neighbor moved out, I was worried that I will not have any motivation to go to office. However, luckily during that time, I have already started to set up this foundation by focusing in building my goals and objectives. So, those changes did not affect me at all. Anyway, they are both still my friends. 

Well, these points are the ones that I can remember at the moment and also the ones that I am experiencing in my life which I find it practical to share. At anytime, something else struck me, I will keep you updated. Enjoy the video! 


​SUMMARY POINTS:
1) Be Self-Aware. Learn to observe your own behavior and feelings.
2) Be aware of your surrounding
3) Sometimes keeping opinions to yourself is better than telling others. Why?
4) Stop comparing with others
5) Appreciate and be grateful of each and every of your accomplishments.
 
Listen more on Grapholistic Podcast
Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3vshd8X
Apple: https://apple.co/3cMrN3b
Google: https://bit.ly/3pW2IYQ
 
Podcast Transcripts are available at https://lnkd.in/gUWG65d
YouTube Live Recorded Video - https://bit.ly/3wXrtqv
 
Follow S.Sulianah on Social Media:
Instagram @ctsulianah23 @grapholistic 

Websites:
www.grapholistic.com
www.ctsulianah.com

I have written this how to be happy is because of how this seems to be a hot topic and everyone has different experiences and lifestyle that might or might not find this practical. The ones that I listed here and talk about in my podcast, Grapholistic Podcast is to motivate individuals to have the courage to realize that they have this happiness within themselves. It is all in there without the need to search for it. Inhibited within you. You only need to bring it out from your within.

Firstly, is to be self-aware of your own character and personality. The main step to realizing and knowing about yourself. What you like and the triggers that could test your patience. Learning about your character is part of this step which will take some time for you to be comfortable with who you are which can also be  a defense mechanism for you when you encounter with challenges in your life. 

Secondly is be aware of the surrounding which means that you have to be there in your life to self-reflect on the presence around you including other living environment such as the trees, animals, insects and humans. These could then develop you to feel at peace and also know that you are not alone. 

Thirdly, this is such a sensitive part to highlight but I find that it has been a pattern and consistent in my life when with people. This is about trust. Trusting someone and also being a person who is trustworthy.

Sometimes, you feel like you can trust strangers more than your family or friends because you know that hardly you will see them again. They might share your story to others but high probability those are not the people you know. Recently, I encountered with a situation on trust and I responded it in a way that those group of friends did not anticipate. I am considered a person with patience, like I can stand and close one eye with remarks or comments that are unpleasant to me for years or for decades. It is not healthy but some things that I don't see everyday, I can mold it to be in the unnecessary category in my life.

So, recently, which is a couple months ago, there was this situation when I told this friend (@Emma) not to tell another friend (@Maya) first about the t-shirt which Maya gifted us because I couldn't fit in. I planned to actually take the design and make it into a t-shirt of my size so I can wear it later. Specifically, I told her not to tell first because I do not want to hurt Maya's feelings. And guess what.. she told Maya. That was like the first within that month she broke my trust. Frankly, and luckily I did not tell her any of my secrets or about me since we were friends. Well, my guts and instinct seems to have good signals.

Then, subsequently, she did the similar thing by telling the same person about something else. I totally forgotten about her character which was told by a mutual friend about 20 years ago, how she is a person who has a big mouth and not to be trusted. Like I said, I prefer not to judge a person by someone else's experience. And when it happened to me, it was something else. I was patience too in the first instance, until something else happened right after that which pinned my bubble of patience. This in fact surprisingly, did affect my happiness during that time. I was fine until this happened. But I could feel the friction on our last two gathering. I am a sensitive person in this way which I could feel if something is not right about a person or when I am with another person. The story to learn here is it doesn't matter how long you have known a person. But once they break your trust, you have to make sure you do something to it instead of being in that relationship and 'try to endure it'.

About 20 years ago, a friend who I used to hangout with did the same too broke my trust with her fantasy story. And I did the same. Confronted her, she denied but that doesn't stopped me from leaving the friendship and not to waste my time to hang around with her. And again, it was another gut feeling that proves to me that my reaction was a right step. Because recently, she did say something which I made sure I did not say it out loud to her throughout our friendship. Well, this time, it was totally a cut-off. But this time it was about respect which I also talked about in my podcast. 

My type of person is once I am committed to leaving, I will do 100% and never turning back. If you have friends like me or whoever in your life like this, don't take it lightly and take advantage. If you want people to respect you, make sure you respect them first. 

Also, learn to build this trustworthy character within you. It is actually a charm and an exemplary character that could make people be comfortable with you and be with you. I have people who told me secrets and I have never told anyone even when we don't keep in touch anymore. Some friends had told me that they are inclined to chatting with me because of how I can keep secrets and stories. And yes, this is one of the communication skills that you need to start to build because it is a principled trait for personal and business use. 

Forth, stop comparing yourself with others. Doesn't matter in what perspective be sure that you focus on yourself instead of others which includes your siblings and friends. That is why the first step is so important which is the foundation. When I was about 10 to 12 years old, my mom used to compare me with my best friend who was also my neighbor during that time. Then, when I was about 16 or 17 years old, she started to do the same again with someone else and I told her if you like that person so much, you can take her as your daughter. Since then, she did not even mentioned or compare me with anyone. 

Fifth, please please remember to appreciate and be grateful with your accomplishments. Be grateful and whenever you attained something in your life, reward yourself. It could be small tasks or goals that you have set in a day-to-day basis or it could be the large scale goals. As long as you remember to give yourself a pat on your shoulder and congratulate yourself, you will be motivated to live your life everyday. Rely on yourself and not on others to congratulate you. 

Well these points are the ones that I can remember at the moment and also the ones that I am experiencing in my life which I find it practical to share. At anytime, something else struck me, I will keep you updated. Enjoy the video! 

SUMMARY POINTS:

1) Be Self-Aware. Learn to observe your own behavior and feelings. 
2) Be aware of your surrounding
3) Sometimes keeping opinions to yourself is better than telling others. Why?
4) Stop comparing with others
5) Appreciate and be grateful of each and every of your accomplishments.

Listen more on Grapholistic Podcast
Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3vshd8X
Apple: https://apple.co/3cMrN3b
Google: https://bit.ly/3pW2IYQ

Podcast Transcripts are available at https://lnkd.in/gUWG65d
YouTube Live Recorded Video - https://bit.ly/3wXrtqv

Follow S.Sulianah on Social Media:
Instagram @ctsulianah23 @grapholistic05

Websites:
www.grapholistic.com
www.ctsulianah.com

Out of the fifty people in the lecture hall, the only person that your eyes has on is that one person. Why?

Listen to Grapholistic Podcast on Spotify, Apple, Google, Anchor and all other platforms.

Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3vshd8X
Apple: https://apple.co/3cMrN3b
Google: https://bit.ly/3pW2IYQ
Podcast Transcripts are available at https://lnkd.in/gUWG65d
YouTube Live Recorded Video - https://bit.ly/3wXrtqv

#podcast #selfesteempodcast #handwritinganalysispodcast​

​The Tick is the first step of your journey in building your self-esteem. It is that feeling of realization telling you that there is something you need to do which is more than live in this world. 

That tick in your heart could also be a feeling that there is something within you that you need to change or improve. Self-realization with efforts, determination and willpower will and did paid off.

FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
Instagram @ctsulianah23 @grapholistic05
Website www.grapholistic.com

Listen to Grapholistic Podcast on Spotify, Apple, Google, Anchor and all other platforms.

Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3vshd8X
Apple: https://apple.co/3cMrN3b
Google: https://bit.ly/3pW2IYQ

Podcast Transcripts are available at https://lnkd.in/gUWG65d
YouTube Live Recorded Video - https://bit.ly/3wXrtqv

​[SNIPPETS] GRAPHOLISTIC PODCAST
Season 1 Episode 2 - (Phase 1) The Tick

"Talking about the topic of subconscious, there is this book which an ex-colleague of mine, Ramesh, shout out to him, who gave me as my farewell gift last year. The book title is The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy.

He explores on how subconscious mind works and how we can learn to use our subconscious mind in finding, setting and achieving our goals including the simplest thing such as solving our problems, finding the things we misplaced at our home."

Listen to Grapholistic Podcast with S.Sulianah on Spotify, Apple, Google, Anchor and all other platforms.

#bookrecommendations  #subconscious #podcast #handwritinganalysis #selfesteem #grapholisticpodcast