All my life, I have been talking about ‘self-esteem’. Why? Because there is a need to develop self-esteem as it helps us to ensure personal growth, positive relationships with others, realistic outlook on life, and so on. 

The first time I found out about self-esteem was when I was about 15 years old. This was when I had started learning about the science of handwriting analysis and from these books written by Bart Baggett, the founder of the Handwriting University, Success Secrets of the Rich and Happy and Secrets of Love, Sex and Relationships.

The first trait that Bart Baggett highlighted was the importance of self-esteem. He talked about how a person with talents and capabilities but with lack of self-esteem will feel towards themselves. These individuals will find themselves struggling to appreciate their own abilities which could lead to inability to handle criticism, depression, dissatisfaction and so on. In fact, self-esteem is not the same as being confident. We can be confident but not having a healthy self-esteem could pull us down. 

Since the day I found out about the significance of self-esteem, I have read countless books and did further research on this subject. That is the reason that every time when I conduct any seminars, personal consultation and write motivational articles, self-esteem will be mentioned directly or indirectly. 
 
It had taken me a lot of effort, time, and trial and error to build my own self-esteem. I am so grateful that I found this out when I was in secondary 3, so I have the space and time to test it at different phases of my life.

When in I was primary school (6 years of education), and during my early stage of my secondary school years (5 years of education), I have been struggling with communicating with people such as my friends and my parents. They irritate me most of the time. Anything they said hurt me a lot, which then I will questioned my worth.

Then I started learning on how to understand myself and eventually develop my personality to the positive spectrum. There are many ways to do these, but I had managed to overcome my struggles in three ways.

1. There was this valuable interpersonal skills subject which my secondary school had instituted. It was their first time to incorporate it in the curriculum, and was one of my favorite subjects in school apart from Mathematics and Geography. They have these activities and training on how to build interpersonal skills, communications skills, how to set goals, ways to accomplish it, and also developing other soft skills.  Setting goals can be in your head but we were taught to write it down because when you write it down, and you read it out, it will be registered in your mind. I find it helpful to write it down on my diary or anywhere permanent not on loose papers though. Except for daily plans like what to do, yeah on post it pad. I used to write daily activities plans on my computer. Or you can use available software like the Microsoft Outlook (I am not into that because this software always crashed my computer), or any other goal setting software in the market.  
   
   
2. The other way which I learnt was through the Graphotherapy technique. This is one of the important modules for my handwriting analysis certification course. I learnt about the techniques from the Handwriting University when I was 16 years old. The ways to improve or change my handwriting strokes that will improve self-esteem, eliminating sensitivity to criticism, removing sarcasm in conversation and any traits that were not pleasant for me during that phase.
   
   
3. Throughout those years and beyond, apart from reading novels, my best friend was books like self-motivation, communication skills, goals setting, how to make friends and 'be charming'. :)

 
Some of my favorite books which had contributed to the person who I am today are those written by Dale Carnegie - How to Win Friends and Influence People, Robert T.Kiyosaki's Rich Dad Poor Dad, Making Friends by Andrew Matthew. Most of these books are found in my dad’s library where he has wide collection of books, while some of it were purchased from my own pocket money.
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Learning about myself and improving my traits is a long-term process. I have been doing it for 23 years, and still am doing it. For me, this process is important. It learned to tap the concealed and passive side of myself while learning to be confident to stand by my own principles and views.

Even though at times I broke certain rules (most of the time to test and analyse), I will be completely aware of the reasons to my actions and know the limits. These stages are for me to feel more sure about who I am, what I like and the things I couldn't stand, what I want, and the type of people who I would like to be friends with. And every time someone else who could be my parents, relatives or friends interfered to tell me something such as “Hey you should do this” or “If I were you, I will….” in a judgmental and directive tone, when I know that I am not that type of person, I will be able to defend myself wisely and refused intelligently.

And the skills which I had learnt to eliminate sarcasm and sensitivity comes in handy and is working well so far. I  observed so much difference compared to when I was in primary school and during the early stage of my secondary school. Sensitive to what people said made me respond to remarks sarcastically. But now, when someone said something that sounded demoralizing or like criticizing, I managed to handle it in a way that they will realized that they sounded shallow, and then they will come back to me with apologies.
 
Understanding ourselves will take time and patience, but most importantly is the degree of interest we have towards ourselves. Something which I always kept in mind for any other goals that I am striving for.  
 
Meanwhile, if you feel the same way too, I wish you all the best in your journey to learn about the things you like, what you like about yourself, the type of people you would like to be with and any other values which will make your life interesting. Remember to learn to love yourself. Self-esteem is the most essential quality and is the main cause of positive life decisions.

#selfesteemdevelopment #selfesteemcoaching #buildingselfesteem #selfesteemcoach #singapore #asia #graphotherapy #handwritinganalyst #graphologist

When handwriting were analysed, I had applied the basic technical concept such as handwriting zones, pressure, directions and handwriting were consistent throughout the period of observation. To understand the basic technicalities, please refer to the seminar HR Struggles and Solutions to Recruiting the Right Employee. 

1.   Observe the handwriting in an aerial perspective. Which of these handwriting is consistent in terms of slants, pressure and direction?

As an employer or advisor to the Director, I would select Handwriting of Engineers A and B. They have the consistency throughout the handwriting, in particularly slants. They are predictable and will be consistent in their performance. I know I can rely on them to start and complete the projects.

How about Engineer C? Would I rely on him to run and complete the projects? Based on his handwriting, No. How about based on my in-person observation? My answer is still the same. My long-term observation of Engineer C being at site and working with the clients and co-workers support my analysis. In a sentence, there is a variation of slants, left, upward and right.

​He finds it challenging to decide who to believe, what to decide and who to support. He is fighting within himself and that put himself in an indecisive position. Whenever someone tells him something, he agrees to him and then he will switch back again and again when he speaks to another person, without particularly focusing on his personal perspective of the situation. Unpredictable mood and thoughts. 

2.   Illegibility in handwriting and possibilities of manipulating. Can I read the handwriting? Engineer A and B, Yes. But C, No.

Are you able to decipher which is ‘a’, ‘o’, ‘h’ for Engineer C's? I have to read the whole sentence to guess the word he is writing. And how is this employee, Engineer C, in person? Why wouldn’t I rely on this guy even though in person, he could be better in his technical knowledge compared to Engineer B?
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Engineer C has a good understanding in understanding the technical knowledge of the projects in the company such as how one equipment works. The downside of Engineer C is he is smart in manipulating situations, changing his words and stories that fit who he is talking to. If he speaks to the boss, he will change his words to suit what he wants with the boss, and then uses it with his manager, twist it well to fit what he needs. And when there are any conflicts, the argument will be between the boss and his manager, not him. And he will make sure that no one can read what he is thinking. In addition, Engineer C also has actual cases of manipulating data and readings at site, but he managed to twist the story and changed the blame to someone else's.  So, would you trust Engineer C with the projects in hand?

​3.  Who out of the three engineers will read, understand the project scope and communicate it to the technical team who works under him and the clients? I will select Engineer A as my first choice. However, if A is not available, I will select Engineer B but not C. 
 
Engineer A spends his time meticulously reading and understanding project scopes, and able to explain the technicalities of the project as in-depth as possible including the ins and outs. In comparison to Engineer B and C, Whenever there are conflicts regarding project scopes which clients, Engineer A normally will be able to defend factually based on the data and proposal. While Engineer B and C will often heat up the situations triggering clients to complain to the management. 

4.   Of these three engineers, who is able to decide logically? Observe the directions of the slants. 

If I want a project in charge to decide based on facts and data without being influenced by his feelings, I will rely on Engineer A.
 
If I would like to make sure someone can manage the employees and have empathy to the staff under them, I will choose Engineer B. However, if I want someone who doesn’t slash the employees with harsh words and able to manage his temper, I will still select Engineer A. There are signs of frustrations, bitterness and sarcasm in Engineer B’s handwriting which is also evident in person.
 
Engineer C is more adaptive to who he speaks to which will be a plus point, however, because he is unpredictable and couldn't decide which could and had caused conflicts and misunderstanding, I would say as an employer and manager, I will avoid selecting Engineer C. 

What is the truth behind the resistance? What are the factors that are stopping you from doing what you had planned and have in mind? Have you ever asked yourself these questions?
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You have a lot to do in mind. A lot of new experiences that you would like to venture. But did you ever make the first step to do it?

How to start is the standard question we will ask ourselves. It is common, because we are clueless. We have no idea how we can start to do it. What are the skills we need? Do we have enough money to pay for the cost? And then the ultimate question is, what if we fail? These whats and what-ifs are the ones messing in our head before deciding to make the first step. We are worried. It is fine to feel or think like that. As a human, that is how some minds works.
 
As long as you find out what are the potential mind playing games that could have stop or hold you back, you can have that inner dialog with yourself.

Let us not discuss about the external “noise” which could hold you back and give yourself an excuse that these people are holding you back. Remember, you cannot change people or stop them from talking about you either face-to-face or behind your back. It doesn’t matter. Ignore them. They could be someone who is closest to you like your mum or dad, friends who you hangout with, or even random strangers who at their own accord will tell you the things you should not do to achieve your goals.

Personally, most of the time, I will avoid telling people of what I want to do and my plans, except to one or two whom I trust. These are the people who listen, will not cut my conversations, and if ever they have their own experiences to share just so I can use it as a guide, they will make sure to listen first. Sometimes I do share randomly with acquaintances and strangers during conversation in public transport or even one-time at Long John’s Silver. These are people who emits positive aura and will encourage you in seconds when you need it. Naturally, I will avoid people who don’t make me feel good and I will take the risk of building gaps with them especially when it affects me in some way. You will notice the difference especially in raising your mood to work towards the goal you have in mind. So, if these are your excuses that stops you from putting your goals into action, I had given you some tips just so you know how to handle it.

Back to asking yourself the truth behind that resistance.

Firstly, you have to ask yourself what exactly you want for yourself. And has these goals and dreams been living in your head for a long time.  This inner dialog is one of those things you live with. And every day when you lead your life, it is there at the back of your mind to remind you the greater good that you are heading to.

Then, make small steps towards it.

For instance, you have been wanting to run your own business empires and study until you own a PhD, since you were 14 years old.

• VISUALIZATION. I learnt this since I knew about Law of Attraction from several books I read and also this Bioenergy course which I had taken when I was studying the Science of Biochemic years ago.  One of the books which has made an impact in the way I used words in my conversation and the way I think is The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. That was nearly 15 years ago when I first noticed that book exist.  I heard that now they have other The Secret Series set which I am looking forward to read it soon. 
• Visualize in detail that you are there in the office settings, with employees of your own surrounded with posh furniture of your taste in the room you are working in and the entire office floor that you own.
• Visualize what kind of businesses you are running such as probably a production company, a publishing company, consultancy company and a non-profit education center. 
• And then, remember to insert in your visualizations how are you feeling. Include these to make sure your visualization are real.
  • Imagine that you are content with your achievements.
  • You are happy and peaceful (because you do not want to have a stereotype mindset that rich people are not happy playing at the background of your mind in which this could affect you now and later)
  • You still have time to spend with your family and friends that matters to you.
  • You own a home of your dream. Visualize the interior and exterior look of your home and how it feels like when you spend time there.
  • You are spending more time with yourself (and your partner). The activities that you are doing in the house.
  • Visualize that how you will feel when you are at the stage graduating with your Masters and PhD.
  • Then, keep it and re-visualize it every time whenever you need to.
  • On the other hand, move forward in your daily life.

​There is this subconscious energy that will attract you to that visualization and dreams of yours. Whenever at times you will be out of rail and too tired to continue, that visualization stored in your subconscious is stronger than you think it is.

Remember the excuse of worrying too much like, “Oh, how can I do that if I don’t have enough money? What if I fail?” or "I am an introvert. I have social anxiety problem. I am too shy to speak to people." 

Let me share with you based on my personal experiences as of recent.  When it is time, everything will fall in to place. You will be surprised that when that moment happens, you will have abundance of support like you have never ever have it before. And then you will ask yourself, how can this even be possible? Where does it come from? Even though those sources are the seeds that you have been planting the past years. 

That resistance we are talking about comes within you. Ask yourself how hungry you are to be in that position you have been visualizing for the past twenty-four years? Ask yourself how important is that for you that define your identity and value? Because when you have all these answers, it will come to you naturally while you work for it.  
 
#coaching #buildself-esteem #buildself-confidence #personalcoaching #lifecoaching #businesscoaching 

The writing material which we will be using to write is as important as any other factors to produce an authentic handwriting. When we use a specific type of pen or a pencil, the handwriting results tend to have contrast with the another.

The handwriting’s pressure, flow, movement, consistency, the energy to write and the overall look of the written document will show difference even though the strokes and all will be the same throughout.
In the science of handwriting analysis, to analyse a handwriting, we will advised our client to write in pencil just so we can observe the pressure throughout. In this article, we are interested in the comfort while writing. Because if you write with stiffness just to be as comfortable as possible with the ball point pen which you are not used to, it will affect the analysis’ accuracy.  

These are the different results which you can see written by the same person using different type of pens or pencils.
  

Writing posture is one of the core factors to consider when we analyse handwriting of individuals. How the writer positioned herself will affect her handwriting’s strokes, pressure, rhythm and many other areas. This will eventually affect the accuracy in the analysis.

When you write something such as a note or letter to someone, you want to make sure it looks good and authentic. So does the person receiving the letter.

What is the advisable writing posture for an accurate handwriting analysis result?

1. Be comfortable.
2. Do not slouch.
3. Do not lie down while writing.
4. If you have no choice but to stand, make sure it is comfortable and not restraining the movement of your hand and shoulder.

It is advisable to sit when you write. Doesn’t matter on a bar highchair or the dining chair as long as the height is comfortable. Not too high or too low. Make sure your shoulder and arm are not restraining the movement while you are writing.

Read more on Handwriting Analysis Articles for Address Legibility on Envelopes

Calcarea Fluorica (Calc. Fluor) is the first remedy in The Biochemic System of Medicine.
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I have always related it as the remedy to solve any deficiency in elasticity of the skin, cells and bowels. I will complement this remedy with Calc. Phos, Kali Phos, Nat Phos and Mag Phos whenever I have problems with digestion which could result in abdominal bloating as mentioned in the earlier article on how Calc. Phos could improve digestion.

It makes a lot of difference because anything we eat might be able to digest, but does that mean the waste could be released easily from our body?

Another common use of Calc. Fluor is for ulcers. Four days ago, I had one which forms inside my mouth near the lips. As always, ulcers can be painful and most importantly distracting. I had attributed it to either dehydration, or my teeth accidentally bite it when I was sleeping.

I did not do anything to it for three days thinking that if I bite it off, it will secrete the pus and eventually will be gone. Well, I was right. It was gone but within the same day, it grew again.

On the fourth day around 4pm, I had decided to take three globules of Calc. Fluor. The ulcer subsided within the next hour. Take note that it depends on how your body responded to these remedies. Mine most of the time is quite immediate in less than 30 minutes.

There are other symptoms such as the skin near my fingers are chapped and dry, which is a signal to me that there is something deficient in my body.

What is Calcarea Fluorica?

Calcarea Fluorica is also known as Fluor-Spar, beautifully crystallized in lead-veins in nature. In our body, it is found in the surface of the bones, enamel of the teeth, elastic fibres and the cells of the skin. When our body has deficiency of this tissue salt, the fibres causes a continued dilatation or relaxed condition. This is seen in conditions like varicose veins, relaxation of abdominal walls with consequent sagging of the abdominal viscera, uterine and tumours haemorrhages, etc (Cited in Materia Medica of the Twelve Biochemic Remedies by George W. Carey, M.D).
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When there is relaxation in the elastic fibres of the blood vessels, connective tissue and lymphatic system, it will not able to absorb exudations. In order for exudations to be dismissed, having sufficient Calc Fluor will help to restore our body’s condition.