It might not be easy to tell people about how you feel when you are disappointed, upset or sad about a situation you are experiencing because sometimes you feel like you could not trust them enough to share about how you feel. Or it is not easy for you to express your feelings into words.
 
Then, you ended up keeping it to yourself. Yes, sometimes it works but at times it might not.
 
By keeping your feelings to yourself, you might feel constricted, then you tend to question your capabilities, and not believing in yourself. Feelings of paranoid will emerge.
 
These feelings of sorrow can be caused by any factors that you are experiencing such as loss of someone, holding on to your past, worrying about your future, disappointed because of failures, things that did not turn out as you have imagined. You then tend to loss interest with yourself and anything that you are doing.
 
Take note that this video is not to diagnose any psychological conditions related to depression or emotional conditions. This is merely to help you learn to be self-aware of your emotions, and character at the moment.
 
By looking into analyzing your handwriting, this is one of the ways for you to more insights about yourself and observe whether you are really experiencing the moments of hopelessness or negative emotions. 

Firstly, check the baseline of your handwriting.
 
Place your ruler on the baseline. Take the first 2 or 3 lines, the middle and the ending part of your essay.
 
Where is the baseline direction heading towards?
 
If you are experiencing a negative emotion such as disappointments, upset, wanting to give up, lose interest in yourselves and life, the baseline you will see will tend to descend or vary up and down inconsistently. 

​However, on the other hand, if your baseline is ascending above 10 degrees, with other supporting traits such as being too sensitive, nervousness, tiredness, this could mean that you are experiencing that sorrow and gloomy emotions but is trying to fight against it.  

Then, the next trait you can check is your signature’s baseline.
 
Most of the time, signature’s baseline usually match with your main text. As we have learnt in earlier video, main text is the part where you write your essay.
 
So, if your signature matches your main text with the baseline descending, it means that it is consistent that you feel the same – the feelings of dejection, low level of energy, fatigue even when you are socializing. That is the same as how you are portraying yourself to others. 

​The last handwriting trait is where you placed your t-bar on your t-stem. When you placed it low on the middle zone, that is a sign of low goals, and low perception of yourself.
 
If you are not having a positive impression about your achievements and what you can or cannot do, you will end up not being happy towards yourself, your life and the environment surrounding you. Then this depressive outlook towards your life will develop gradually over the years.

Remember that even though you have these traits, it doesn’t mean they are in a depressive phase.
 
You have to also make sure what is your writing position, the rhythm of your handwriting, pressure, other strokes and whether your handwriting is consistent with all those traits every time you write. If it is same, then it can be seen as embedded in your personality. However, if not, highest possibilities are that you are only having that emotion at that moment.

​First, check the letter t-bar. Where is it placed on the t-stem? If he placed it below the middle zone, the candidate is expected to set low goals and is not confident to have a long-term vision for himself. This trait also shows the level of his self-esteem.
 
He will have doubts on his own capabilities and will feel like he does not have the desire and self-encouragement to push himself back up again when he is facing with challenges or failures.

While for the candidate with the higher placed t-bar on the upper zone, like this, he will be more confident about his talents and what he can do. Which means he will be self-assured when he is with your clients and his colleagues. ​

​The second step is to observe the size of his signature and his main text. His main text refers to the paragraphs of the essay he has written.
 
If his signature is smaller than the main text, he is more inclined to be less confident from the one who writes with a larger signature. Not only that, he feels intimidated and inferior compared to those around him. Usually this will be obvious from the eye of the beholder. 
 
A more confident person can be seen from his larger signature which is larger than the main text of his essay, bold and optimistic signature.

​Then, the next trait you can check is where he placed his signature on the paper. Is it on the left or the right side of the paper?
 
If it is on the left, he will tend to avoid introducing himself to your clients, for instance at a company event. So, if this position is related to marketing, sales, PR, or similar to these, the other applicant who signs on the right side of the paper will be more inclined and comfortable to present himself to your clients without you, the employer, by his side.

So, did you manage to find any of these traits on your candidates’ handwriting? 

To get your job interview candidates’ handwriting analysed, go to www.grapholistic.com 

Self-esteem is the fundamental trait that you need to prioritize. When there is an absence of a healthy self-esteem, you will break the entire architecture of your personal identity, confidence and gradually affecting your perception towards your life and your surrounding. Focus on building on it and everything else will follow suit.

These are the core areas that you can focus on when you are building your self-esteem.

1. BE SELF-AWARE
Firstly, before you start developing your brain, mind and feelings to shape the way you perceive about yourself, you have to be clearly aware of how you actually feel towards yourself. Not what others tell you how you should be. Not what others tell you who you are. It is more on what is your reaction when others comment to you about things they don't like about you. Are you agreeing with them and start disliking yourself too? Or you totally disagree with them and instead you believe in yourself even more?

Because if you agree and follow what they want, then you are making them control your life. It doesn't matter whether what they said are the truth or not. You have to be self-aware of your behavior and your habits by yourself.  You have to acknowledge first, before you decide what to do. 

While you are doing that, learn to observe how your thoughts and feelings work together because this will help you understand better why at times you behave a certain way even though it is blatantly inappropriate. 

2. DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS
This is the one and only that will increase your anxiety, and will test your patience. Why? Because you are trying to match your life with your friends, siblings and those other people you see in social media, even though they are not important in your life. They have a different objectives and responsibilities in their life. Stay on your lane and live your own life. Create your own path that you have always wanted since you were a teenager. Always remember that the grass is greener on the other side. Are you willing to sacrifice something that you like, to get what you want like those people you are comparing with?

3. SET GOALS AND BE BRAVE TO DREAM
Create goals in your mind. Set what you want to have, to own, to live by, to experience. Imagine those in your mind and let yourself feel those moments. Don't be afraid to set high goals even though you think it might sound a bit too much. The universe is so vast that nothing is impossible. Remember when you were at school, you thought that you couldn't afford to drive a car? Well, now you do. Remember when you do not have enough money to travel to Europe when you started your first job? Well, you did went to Switzerland recently, didn't you? So, the point is, if you want it, you will get it.

When I was a HR Manager in one of the organisations I used to work in, I will observed how employees behaved, performed at work, spent their time when there was not much tasks to do, how they speak to one another, and their behavior in general. One day, the owner of the company informed me of his concerns related to the performance of the staff as of recent. He observed that they seemed demotivated even though he did gave out generous benefits and flexibility with time at work and all. So, I shared with him about what I had been observing over the years. I had highlighted to him about personal goals. Probably, a number of them had not set their own personal goals so they can keep moving towards it. This has nothing to do with the company's personal goals. Company's personal goals is the responsibility of the owner. What I meant was what they are looking for in their life. Not only earning money to feed the family back home. Not the routine. It is more than that.  If they have none, means they will drag themselves everyday to wake up every morning to come to work. Once they cannot imagine where they want themselves to be in the next 5 to 10 years, or 20 years, there is nothing that they will look forward to. And unfortunately, their demotivation will affect the company in some way. 

As for the employees who has their own set of mind who knows what they are looking for in the next few years for themselves such as attaining Masters Degree, running their own companies in the future, venturing to work in other companies for career development, looking forward to complete the projects assigned, you can notice the difference in their discipline, overall performance, the way they speak to others, the number of projects they can complete, the way they speak to clients, and their energy in comparison to those who has a narrow perspectives of what they are looking for at that time. 

5. READ AND READ
Yes, reading can develop your self-esteem. Why? Because it help you expand your mind to another world instead of just yours. You will learn many new knowledge that will make you be confident with yourself and make you think more in-depth of the situations which is surrounding you. At first you might only find out about the surface of a behavior by reading a few books, then when you start to question how it works and why it works, that is when you will start to be exposed with another set of new genre of books explaining the intricacy. Eventually, you will realized the abundance of opportunities, love and knowledge in this universe that you and I have not even explored.

Reading will also sharpened your conversational, comprehension, writing and analyzing techniques. When you are good at these, you need not worry about your confident to speak to people. You can be thrown in a mass of Aliens, and I bet you that you can make friends with them.

So...why wait? Start reading, again!

6. EXPRESSING YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
This is a tad bit subjective if you were to ask me, "But what if it is not worth it to express my opinions to them?". Yeah, that is when you have to evaluate before you say anything. At times, the situation and the person we are talking to are not suitable for us to share our opinions to. So, don't. 

What I meant here is being brave to say it when something is not right or when a person is saying something without any basis including being disrespectful to you that you feel like they need to learn. Then, if you are someone who is confident with the topic on hand, if you are having a high self-perception towards yourself, you will be more confident to enter into that argument with your own justification. But if not, you will end up keeping quiet and you wish that you have the confidence to reply to her back. 

I used to have this problem when I was a teenager and during my mid-20s. Usually, I will stand on my own opinion but personally I don't feel like arguing because at that time I was not confident with the way I communicate to people. I was less confident about my capabilities to speak and write because I feel like I was not good at my English language. Then, what I did was to sharpen my English writing and conversational skills over the years. I have a model in mind that I want to be like that person, and since then I never stopped writing and never stopped telling people what is in my mind. 

​7. CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY
Be friendly and not arrogant. That is the motto. But be cautious on who you let be in your inner circle of friends. This is important because the people you spend your time with will affect how you perceive yourself. You might be having a healthy self-perception towards yourself, but once someone who kept highlighting the negatives to you such as 'You should do this', or 'You are really dumb', or 'I don't think you deserve that recognition', then these will eventually crumble your walls of confidence. Be with people who has a growth mindset and whenever after you are done having dinner with them, you will leave with a smile on your face looking forward to the next one. Their presence should not be a drag to you.

8. NEVER STOP LEARNING
Once you stop learning, there goes the energy of your brain, withering until it makes you lose hope in life. Find new things to learn and explore. It can be as simple as learning how to edit a video. It can be as simple as learning how to cook. Go, grab something to master. Keep learning new skills. 

9. CHANGE HABITS
Discard habitual practices that are not benefiting you in any way. The brain has to evolve. Find new things to try and keep changing your routines. 

10. IGNORE OTHERS' NEGATIVE COMMENTS
Yes, I highlighted negative comments. There is no need for you to evaluate once you observe where the message is heading to. Once something is unsettled in your feelings, consider it as not a good thing. No arguments here please.

Why? Because if someone is really concerned with you and your feelings, they will not start the conversation with telling you, "Oh, you look like you gain weight". They can start it with, "Hey,how is life? Is everything doing good?" Which means, if you want to share further, "You know, I feel like I have gained weight..." then, you do it that way. Yeah, don't ask me why these people never think before they speak. I am quite tired writing the same things over and over again to tell my point here. 

Recently, I have learnt something from a video posted by @Jordan in Tiktok. She shared that her mum used to remind her since she was young to follow the 5-Second Rule. No, nothing to do about dropping your food on the floor. This rule is more on dropping your unnecessary opinions to people. If you see that a person could not change within 5-Second of that thing you noticed, don't even say it out. Which means if you noticed that the person has gain weight or lose weight, and they cannot change it within 5 seconds, there is no need to tell them. But if you see that his pants is torn, and by informing him, he can make decision to cover it in seconds, then tell him.  I think this is a good way to stop ourselves from being insensitive. 

​11. IGNORE WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU
This is another factor that can increase your anxiety and lower your self-esteem. Practicing this might be difficult at first but once you master the art of not caring what people think about you, you will live happily ever after. Anyway, who cares what they think of you? Whenever you have these thoughts, remind yourself these. Did they pay for your school fees? Did they pay for your meals everyday? Are they paying for you to live? No, right? Then, why are you even worried about what they think of you. Unless you want to know whether that girl you like, likes you back and you want to know what she thinks of you, that is a different scenario. 

Anyone who makes you uncomfortable being yourself, you have to step back and not allow that person to dominate your life. 

12. DON'T CRITICIZE YOURSELF
Why are you condemning each and every mistakes you have done? Acknowledge it to yourself, you made a mistake is fine. But why are you dwelling on everything you had done? You are conditioning your mind to keep telling you that you made a mistake, and kept telling you to regret.

Improve on those so you will not repeat the same mistakes, then move on. And never ever look down on yourself. If you think that the person you like is in love with someone else, don't tell yourself that, 'Ah she chose her is because she is better than I am'. Please, no honey. That is not how it works. You are meant for someone else who will appreciate you because remember that list you have created for yourself? The one that you had listed the type of person you want your partner to be. Yeah, well. That person is still out there. Be patience. 

13. DO NOT COMPROMISE WITH DISRESPECTFUL PEOPLE
I decided to add this point here is because this is indirectly going to affect the way you perceived yourself. If that person you are befriending with disrespect others as simple as someone who is working as a waitstaff, that friend will behave the same way with you, eventually. Being with them is reducing your self-worth. And yes, at first it will be you re-evaluating with Yeah, well they treat them that way but not with me, you said to yourself Don't be too oversensitive. Just close one eye. It is a small matter and will be gone soon. It will not.

Whenever you make decisions especially in situations where there are other factors to put in place before you decide, learn to sync your mindset with whatever you feel. If one of it identified it as wrong, keep re-evaluating and you have to be brave to decide what to do with it before your body take full control. 

​14. STAY FOCUS ON YOUR WELL-BEING
Your life is about you. Any decisions you make, please ask yourself whether you are hurting now and in the long-run. If something is not worth it, hold the decision first, or make the decision right away once you are confident with your evaluation. Doesn't matter who you are dealing with, whether that person is your parents, the love of your life, your siblings, friends, employers, or co-workers. Focus what is the best for you.
​

16. PRIORITIZE ON YOUR HAPPINESS. DON'T WORRY ON WHAT OTHERS WILL THINK OF YOUR CHOICE
At any point of time when you are trying to achieve greater things for your life, focus on what you want. There are some things that you need to probably do that will not be conditioned to what the society expects you to do, so you have to learn to prioritize. You may want to explore and test the market to be your own boss, building businesses of your own. Then, there will be influx of comments and opinions that you never asked for. And because of that, at times it will affect your own perception whether you are making the right decision. That is why, you have to learn to shut these off immediately without evaluating. These comments are coming from people who are having different set of life, principles and objectives in their life. If you follow what they say, you are living their life. Don't cave in to something that has no correlation with your objective. 

Currently, I have been running my businesses full-time after nearly 2 decades working for others. I had to keep this venture low profile especially from my mom. She doesn't know I am doing this just because I want to avoid listening to her opinions and worries of hers (not mine). A friend of mine told me, you should tell her who knows she will be proud of you instead. She told me twice and the recent one was indirectly asking me whether my dad has been to my new office. My dad knows about my adventures but since he did not requested, I did not show him. If I am so worried what my friend's opinion of me will be, I would cave in and tell my mom about it just because we are conditioned to tell our parents everything we do. But because I know why I made that decision, and because I will be the one who is in that position to listen to comments of my mom not my friend, I made a strong stance about my own decision. I really don't care if my friends think of me of anything else. Because this is my life, not hers. 

17. NEVER CLOSE ONE EYE ON DISRESPECTFUL BEHAVIOR
I have highlighted this earlier and I am writing the same here. 

18. BE BRAVE TO MOVE ON AND KEEP REINVENTING YOURSELF
​Stop dwelling on your past and move on. Yes, put in your best courage you have and move on. When I said move on means, stop thinking about the moments you had that made you feel down. Stop thinking about the failures from the past. You have done your share learning from your mistakes and improving on it so you will not repeat the same. Now it is the time to not regret it forever. Move on if you are still clinging to feeling loved towards someone who is not feeling the same way. You will not meet with someone else who is better than her or him if you still cling like a koala. You will not meet your soulmate if you refused to let go of someone who is not meant for you. By the way, I found out that our soulmate is actually ourselves. 

This method is possible. I have tried it myself. Even though it took extra one more month than my planned 6 months to forget and let go, in the end it still works. No hatred. Let go with love, but be determined to move on. ​

​You can learn so  much about yourself like how you will behave in stressful situations, the way you will usually express your feelings and many other possibilities when you are in situation. 

Don't let others determine who they want you to be. Be self-aware of who you are and harness your strengths for your benefit.

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#graphology #handwritinganalysis #selfdevelopment #selfawareness #selfesteem #selfconfidence #confidencebuilding #facts

Nobody is talking about this self-improvement strategy. Changing your handwriting to change your personality which is known as the Graphotherapy technique. Your handwriting tells you about your personality such as your self-esteem, your willpower, The possible reasons you  are procrastinating. Or why you always overthink and focus on the negatives. How can you improve yourself without knowing all these intricate details of your personality?

Get your handwriting analyzed at www.grapholistic.com

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Wondering what your t-bar of your handwriting says about you? Check out this t-bar Edition segment and find out what does the 'flying t-bar' you have signifies your personality


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To learn more about handwriting analysis and get your handwriting analysed, go to www.grapholistic.com

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​The FIVE interesting facts about your personality that you need to know from your handwriting. If you have these, you can do something to it using the Graphotherapy method. This method is a way you will be trained to change your handwriting for the objectives to improve, eliminate and enhance your personality traits. 

Your handwriting begins neatly but gradually descends. This is an indication that you might be disappointed or discouraged

Your t-bar is sharp and pointed like a dagger. This suggests you have the tendency to use sarcasms to defend yourself

You forget to dot your i’s. This signifies that you tend to procrastinate and/or easily get distracted.

​Your handwriting is left slanted. You keep your feelings to yourself and also prefers not to go out to socialize.

Your signature is legible. You feel good about yourself and don’t care whether people like you or not.

The reason I made this as one of the first few webinars/seminars is because of how important this trait is in your team. As an employer you have to be aware of who you can trust and who you should avoid telling your company's confidential information. But how can you know by merely chatting with your job applicants and your employees? It is complicated to identify through body language or even what and how they speak sometimes.

How can you know that your sales executive is sharing with you information that are the truth and not made up by him? How can you know that your engineer is lying when he said that he was working overnight when he was not? I have worked with business owners who were too busy to analyze situations and rely on convenience and relationship but most of the time they made a mistake by trusting the wrong person for the job or for the situations. And eventually, they lost the employees who are reliable and high-performer.

Well, some may say that "Well, good for the employees who will now find a better company which fits their character." Yes, it is true. I agree totally but we are talking about you now, the employer. Do you know why your company is still at that same place since the last 10 years? Do you know why you keep losing reliable employees recently? Did you realized that your narrow perspective had impacted your own business? Did you even realized that you have been listening to the wrong people? You didn't even noticed that the employees you have been trusting all these years are actually not at your side. You need someone to tell you instead. You could have avoided all these if you put in effort to learn about their character before your recruit them. You could have avoided all these if you have analyzed their behavior instead of solely relying on what they said. 

Book a Group Graphology Session to learn and build understanding between you, your employees and co-workers - https://bit.ly/2UAFhcg - Learn to understand each others' actual character from handwriting. 


Course is now available in Udemy. 
Dishonesty, Integrity, Trust Handwriting Traits in Accountants, HR, Project Managers and Engineers by Grapholistic International conducted by S.Sulianah is now available in UDEMY.

Registration link for Udemy is available on our website under Courses at www.grapholistic.com, and https://bit.ly/3kX7cy8

Changing Habits is the second step in the Journey to Building Self-Esteem Series by S.Sulianah (www.grapholistic.com)

This process can be done in small steps and should also make you satisfied when you complete those tasks you planned. This is an action task which is not an excuse for anyone who tend to say they talked more than they do. Imagination is of no value with no effort from your side to put it into actions.

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#motivational #relationship #friendship

Surround yourself with people who push you to do better in life and their presence is a motivation. Be with people who has positive energy, respect your opinion, respect you and of course others, trustworthy, and brings out the absolute best in you and each other with compassion.

Book a Group Graphology Session for your next gathering or celebration with your friends, family or co-workers - https://bit.ly/2UAFhcg

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GRAPHOLISTIC PODCAST
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#selfesteem #relationship #friendship #groupgraphologysession #comprehensivehandwritinganalysis

To re-post this video and its contents on your website, social media, blogs, YouTube etc, please remember to quote the Author's name, S.Sulianah, and link to her company's website www.grapholistic.com.