Have you ever experienced a moment or maybe moments in your life that you feel stuck? You may have everything which you have dreamed of since you were fifteen and then two decades later you have attained most of your goals gradually throughout the years. Then, you start to ask yourself what are the reasons in the first place you are here in this world when you have everything right now. You have the house of your dreams. Cars of your dreams. Qualifications and certifications as you had seek since you were fifteen. Traveled around the world. But still, you asked yourself what actually is your purpose in life, in this world. Are these the only journey that I need to pursue? Or should I do something else? You continuously kept aiming higher. Can say that you are happy with yourself and your achievements. You appreciated everything you had attained.  So, what else? Should you set these on repeat until you are 80? 

I kept asking myself this over and over again in the recent 3 to 4 years. Frankly, yes I am grateful that every time I have this question in mind, my social media timeline, feeds and #fyp will be filled with motivations from other individuals around the world with similar questions that they asked themselves and also they came up with words of wisdom to keep moving forward. There are people who discussed about the quantum possibilities in life. The unlimited and infinite. Also there are those who focused on the 'Now', appreciating and going through life in the moment to avoid anxiety and worries of the future. Those who suggested to keep moving on and do something else other than the usual and so on...

After watching those, I realised that those experiences each and every individuals had shared fit my life in practical when I integrate those perspectives and motivations for a better balance. And usually I will continuously open myself to any changes in the way I think, and how my thoughts and my thinking process impacted the way I feel and also any actions I will be taking.

Every time I feel like I am stuck, I will look into what I had foresee myself to be in the next 5 to 10 years. And for me, I had to imagine materials gaining to be part of my goals just so I do not feel bored. In fact, recently I have no shame to think of my life with only me sitting in the house of my dreams and merely write my books, articles, scripts, recording my podcasts and videos and not to worry about anything else including money and all. Well, I can say I am already doing those now but I decided to allow myself to think larger than this.

When I was a teen, I used to have an imagination that I will build my own house but over the years I feel like that dream is so temporary meaning owning a house. When I got to achieve my other dreams, I realized that I do not actually need a huge place. Actually if this world is safe, I do not mind staying anywhere but well let that thoughts be reserved for the afterlife. But since recently I have everything I had wanted (both the material aspect and humane contributions), I am kind of bored so I decided to venture my mind to think into attaining something larger than the usual goals I had for myself. I feel like everything is possible. When I said feel, it means that I think and my mind is telling me that. So, when I managed to attain those, I will share with you the journey and achievements. Basically, these new thoughts are the ones that let me move on and keep moving forward to continue and strive for new goals. Well, just by changing that it makes a lot of difference in inspiring myself to go on everyday. 

Whenever you feel stuck, test something different for your life. Do something different everyday. Think something else other than what you are used to. And while you are doing that, remind yourself to still enjoy the moments you are living right now. Be honest to yourself. It is okay that you want to stay contented, not filled with worries about our future and if money is a thing 'no money no talk' acknowledge that. 

Baseline is the base of your sentences. If it is descending, high chances is that you are undergoing moments of dejection, disappointments, sorrow, upset, sadness and possibilities of depression. Usually I do not diagnose any disorders like depression in my consultation sessions and graphology reports, but there are traits (not only baselines) that could help to recognise whether there are any consistencies in your thinking process. I have written an article on handwritings baselines and negative emotions if you need to know more about this topic. ​

Hi Everyone! Thank you for being a great support in 2021! 
We would like to take this opportunity to wish each and everyone of you wherever you are in this world a Happy New Year 2022! Wish you have a more amazing new experiences and time with yourself and your love ones in the new year.

Thank you supporting us by trusting us to be part of your self-development and self-exploration journey. 
We look forward to still be part of your life in the years to come. Stay safe!

Paperback book for Be Brave: Uncensored Motivational Quotes is no available in  Amazon, Barnes and Nobles and any online bookstores. For orders from Singapore and any parts of Asia, you can still order from our website at www.winterscribbler.com USE CODE: EBB23 during checkout for limited discount.

ebook is also available and at the moment only from our website at www.winterscribbler.com
USE CODE BBE13 at checkout for limited discount. ​

​The plan to write a book on ‘motivational quotes’ has been at the back of my mind. It was one of the books I wanted to write this year. At that time, I was in the midst of writing my first motivational/self-help book on self-esteem but then out of nowhere, I started to write this first instead 

The ideas were from my experiences meeting with people over the years. With those I worked with, acquaintances, and friends. Both good and unpleasant one were triggers for me to share every layers from my perspectives. ​Most importantly, how I managed to handle every bits and pieces of it and then move on and forward to the next chapters.

Ah... the first write-up, which is the first draft, it took me only about 7 hours. It was initially only 89 pages. Simple and straightforward kind of quotes which I had stored in my brain for years. The process that took so long were the second draft, third drafts and so on. After I sent my first draft for professional book critique and then editing plus proofreading, it took me additional weeks. So, from 3 August to end of Oct 2021, it took about 3 months.

Usually, I will run contests for my book covers and is open to designers worldwide. I will highlight the book designs’ requirements and as for this, specifically I would like these colours. How the designers want to play around with the design, it is up to them. ​I chose to award the winner, Ralph Cavero, because his design is different compared to the others’. See that cancelled line on the word DON’T, this made it different. Also, a metaphor for the contents of the book. Something like, when people say ‘No, you cannot do it’, you have to tell yourself ‘Yes, I Can!’

This book for me is different from the poetry books I had written. The poems I wrote were more of my experiences that are more personal, and usually love stories. Readers need not need to evaluate and apply to their own life. As for these motivational quotes, they are more like a handbook if readers need to use for self-encouragement. At first I was worried if the quotes will be too harsh since all of it are uncensored. And also quite concerned people will misinterpreted and misused the expressions in a negative way. ​However, my concerns were eventually resolved. Before the final book edit, I managed to analysed related videos and research articles by other motivational speakers and individuals just to make sure everything I had written are in the positive alignment.

Decided to gift my 2 favorite teachers from my secondary school. ​Ms Ow Yong, my Mathematics teacher from Sec 1 to 2. ​I talked about her before in my podcast. Because of her style and techniques she shared, I fall in love with the subject. Since then, even when I was in Uni, for any subjects related to Mathematics, my grades will always be above 80%. Another one is for Mdm Ida Lim, my Geography teacher from Sec 3 to 5. I also talked about her in my podcast. Always looked forward to her classes, and that contributes positively to my interests in Geography. ​

[Laugh] Initially, the book title I had for my first few drafts was ‘Uncensored Motivational Quotes with Tips to Respond to Idiots Confidently’. I was not comfortable with it and such a coincidence when I sent my draft for the pro book critique’s comments. I was suggested to look into the title again. Since the theme of this book is to Be Brave in making decisions, acknowledging yourself, and on the other hand, I don’t want to remove the word uncensored, finally I decided to titled it as what we have now for the final product. ​Also, before finalizing, I had to do more market research on the books in the market which is part of the process.

I cannot choose one. 
​
But but but...the specific one that will make me laugh everytime I re-read it especially during editing were the quotes under the chapter, ‘When You Need to Be Brave to Move on from Someone You Love’. 
The quotes that made me do not want to repeat the same experiences and meet with those type of people again in any phase of my life were the ones under the chapter, ‘When You Need to Be Brave to Confidently Respond to Certified Idiots’.

And as for the quotes that I feel like I have to still keep reminding myself to remember and not slipped out of my mind are the ones under the chapter, ‘When You Need to be Brave to Acknowledge Your Instincts’. 
Cos justifying can have a strong hold that could last as long as a decade which I don’t want it to happen again. 

So, usually before writing these Author’s notes, like when I had done for my first book, MIYH, similarly, I did an FB research on the person just so I can write something that relates to their life. The following are some examples in case any authors are searching for ideas like I did earlier.

Paperback book for Be Brave: Uncensored Motivational Quotes is no available in  Amazon, Barnes and Nobles and any online bookstores. For orders from Singapore and any parts of Asia, you can still order from our website at www.winterscribbler.com USE CODE: EBB23 during checkout for limited discount.

ebook is also available and at the moment only from our website at www.winterscribbler.com
USE CODE BBE13 at checkout for limited discount. ​

I had taken this opportunity to do a book signing for my new released book on 1 Nov 2021, Be Brave: Uncensored Motivational Quotes with a few questions and answers. Thank you to everyone who has ordered it. Any purchases of my books are a motivation for me to keep moving forward and explore new adventures and writing new genres. Most importantly, writing and then publishing something that I have been dreaming since I was a teenager. 

Paperback book for Be Brave: Uncensored Motivational Quotes is no available in  Amazon, Barnes and Nobles and any online bookstores. For orders from Singapore and any parts of Asia, you can still order from our website at www.winterscribbler.com USE CODE: EBB23 during checkout for limited discount.

ebook is also available and at the moment only from our website at www.winterscribbler.com
USE CODE BBE13 at checkout for limited discount. 

​The following case study is an extract from my soon to be published book under the HR and Management Series. I am starting with the case study of one of the Project Managers whom I used to worked with for 13 years. I decided to choose this first is because of its significance in the thread for the other case studies. Other than that, it will be a comprehensive story with evidence from the long-term study in a business organisation setting. In this book and its case studies, the areas that I focused on are mainly on human behavior and how  a personal trait could influence the individual’s decision-making, thinking pattern, observation, communication with colleagues, perceptions, the way they speak, the way the think, outlook towards their personal goals and their credibility in a business setting. In addition to that, I had also used the science of handwriting analysis to study their characters, behaviors and possible cause and effect, if any, during the course of my observations.
 
 
CASE STUDY
​
PROFILE:
Project Manager (Not real name: Lewis)
Over 30 years of work experiences
In his mid-50s
 
ABOUT THE PROJECT MANAGER, LEWIS
The first case study is of one of the most senior project managers in the company, Lewis. Lewis have been working in the engineering field for over 30 years with experiences as an engineer and as of this present day, a project manager.
 
EXPRESSING FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS (i.e. Ideas, opinions, feedback) 
The first few instances that I had noticed about his character is he is not the type who will say it out loud about his concerns such as what he is feeling or thinking toward others or situations unless I start talking about it and eventually when asked for his opinions. It is one of the good points in a relationship with co-workers or with anyone as you can expect that he can be trusted and will not share information to others. Which means when I tell him to ‘Keep this information to yourself because I do not trust others’, he will keep it to himself.
 
There are no handwriting traits that shows he is of a secretive nature. However, it is observed that his letters O are mainly closed and so, it is more likely that he will not share the information I had shared with him to others compared to if a person writes it with an open O.

There are traits of cautiousness shown on his left slanted handwriting even though the base of his writing is fixated on the ground pulling towards the right. Lewis has the desire to move one step ahead but usually will take another step backward to be careful with the things he says. He rather kept it to himself than to define his thoughts to the person he is talking to.
 
Since his opinions are well-kept and will only share with me when asked, I noticed it is quite difficult to understand what he thinks based on his expressions. However, the only areas I could analyse were based on the volume and the tone of his excitement, or disappointment. He will only be more inclined to share his feelings about something when I tell him my own personal story that might be related to the matter.
 
Another trait which I noticed is his positive expectation towards a thing that might not be necessary for me which by nature I will not do it anyway because I do not feel like wasting my time to do something which I do not deemed required. However, his attitude towards it is more “Yes, can! Why cannot??!” even though the matter is not even possible to do it that way. The handwriting trait visible signifying this is the all-capitals throughout his handwriting. On the other hand, even though ascending baselines are associated with someone with a positive mindset or more precise, optimism, his baseline mostly varies in ascending and declining, and eventually descending towards the end.
 
He does trusts others easily and could not see it in another angle. So, he will believe others and tell what is in his mind or the things people told him about without probably giving it a second thought just because he had known them for years. There was an incident that at first I thought I should not have told him but I am glad now looking back that my instinct was right, to tell him. About 8 years to our work relationship, during one of our conversations, I told him to be careful with whatever he shared with a certain colleague of ours. I decided to tell this because of the situations I had observed at every different angle — what our boss knows and told me, what other employees were chatting about him and the projects he was managing, what this colleague of ours told me and also based on my years of observing, understanding and analyzing each and everyone’s style of working and communicating with one another. Even though I am not the type who will usually do this but because I noticed that this Project Manager of ours seemed to be too gullible and trust everyone, I decided to advise him to just be careful with whatever he shares in the work site with employees. Especially anything to do with his conversation with the boss. Because apparently some works were shared around when it is supposed to be kept between them. Other than that, there was a few times our boss told me about what he found out from that colleague of ours about Lewis which I knew is a one-sided perspective and assumption. I was more assured of this when that colleague of ours were saying things behind his back and also to other employees in a not friendly tone. So, when Lewis found out the reason why I had advised to him which I usually don't, he was surprised. Because all this while he trusted this colleague and he really looked shocked with what happened. Their friendship actually had became more personal with him lending money to this guy and also being involved here and there with this guy’s relationship with his girlfriend during that time. And that is why he did not expect that this guy will talk behind his back. 

AGREEABLE TRAITS
Another trait that I observed from his demeanour is his tendency to agree to something that might not be feasible. I assumed probably is because that he is worried that it will affect his position or what others will think about him. He used to argue back to our boss and even to colleagues including me. But that changes over time. Based on my observations, this behaviour might have changed because of the changes in the work environment. The boss’ attitude and unfairness towards individuals at some points were emerging when we were both at our tenth year in the company. What I noticed is that this Project Manager tend to agree without arguments like he used to. The present handwriting that supported this are the closed spaces between letters. The spaces are closer than the ones he wrote ten years ago. This handwriting trait signifies the desire to be associated with people around him and forge a relationship. He prefers attachments with individuals.

BUY OUR IN-HOUSE CREATED HANDWRITING ANALYSIS TRAITS CHART
Suitable to assist you in recruiting the positions: Project Managers, Engineers

It might not be easy to tell people about how you feel when you are disappointed, upset or sad about a situation you are experiencing because sometimes you feel like you could not trust them enough to share about how you feel. Or it is not easy for you to express your feelings into words.
 
Then, you ended up keeping it to yourself. Yes, sometimes it works but at times it might not.
 
By keeping your feelings to yourself, you might feel constricted, then you tend to question your capabilities, and not believing in yourself. Feelings of paranoid will emerge.
 
These feelings of sorrow can be caused by any factors that you are experiencing such as loss of someone, holding on to your past, worrying about your future, disappointed because of failures, things that did not turn out as you have imagined. You then tend to loss interest with yourself and anything that you are doing.
 
Take note that this video is not to diagnose any psychological conditions related to depression or emotional conditions. This is merely to help you learn to be self-aware of your emotions, and character at the moment.
 
By looking into analyzing your handwriting, this is one of the ways for you to more insights about yourself and observe whether you are really experiencing the moments of hopelessness or negative emotions. 

Firstly, check the baseline of your handwriting.
 
Place your ruler on the baseline. Take the first 2 or 3 lines, the middle and the ending part of your essay.
 
Where is the baseline direction heading towards?
 
If you are experiencing a negative emotion such as disappointments, upset, wanting to give up, lose interest in yourselves and life, the baseline you will see will tend to descend or vary up and down inconsistently. 

​However, on the other hand, if your baseline is ascending above 10 degrees, with other supporting traits such as being too sensitive, nervousness, tiredness, this could mean that you are experiencing that sorrow and gloomy emotions but is trying to fight against it.  

Then, the next trait you can check is your signature’s baseline.
 
Most of the time, signature’s baseline usually match with your main text. As we have learnt in earlier video, main text is the part where you write your essay.
 
So, if your signature matches your main text with the baseline descending, it means that it is consistent that you feel the same – the feelings of dejection, low level of energy, fatigue even when you are socializing. That is the same as how you are portraying yourself to others. 

​The last handwriting trait is where you placed your t-bar on your t-stem. When you placed it low on the middle zone, that is a sign of low goals, and low perception of yourself.
 
If you are not having a positive impression about your achievements and what you can or cannot do, you will end up not being happy towards yourself, your life and the environment surrounding you. Then this depressive outlook towards your life will develop gradually over the years.

Remember that even though you have these traits, it doesn’t mean they are in a depressive phase.
 
You have to also make sure what is your writing position, the rhythm of your handwriting, pressure, other strokes and whether your handwriting is consistent with all those traits every time you write. If it is same, then it can be seen as embedded in your personality. However, if not, highest possibilities are that you are only having that emotion at that moment.

To re-post these contents on your website, social media, blogs, articles, YouTube etc, please remember to quote the Author's name, S.Sulianah, and link to her company's website www.grapholistic.com.

You are searching for someone to fill up the job position in your company.
 
This person has to be confident in speaking up when he needs to, not only to the colleagues he will be working with in the team, but also to your clients. He has to be confident to make decisions without worrying about how he is intimidated by the presence of your clients or even his colleagues. He has to have the confidence to represent your company.
 
So now, you have to select The One out of the 15 applicants you have interviewed over the last couple of weeks. You are trying to learn their genuine character beneath the ones they portrayed to you during the interviews.
 
How to identify out of these candidates, who is the one with confidence from their handwritings? 

​First, check the letter t-bar. Where is it placed on the t-stem? If he placed it below the middle zone, the candidate is expected to set low goals and is not confident to have a long-term vision for himself. This trait also shows the level of his self-esteem.
 
He will have doubts on his own capabilities and will feel like he does not have the desire and self-encouragement to push himself back up again when he is facing with challenges or failures.

While for the candidate with the higher placed t-bar on the upper zone, like this, he will be more confident about his talents and what he can do. Which means he will be self-assured when he is with your clients and his colleagues. ​

​The second step is to observe the size of his signature and his main text. His main text refers to the paragraphs of the essay he has written.
 
If his signature is smaller than the main text, he is more inclined to be less confident from the one who writes with a larger signature. Not only that, he feels intimidated and inferior compared to those around him. Usually this will be obvious from the eye of the beholder. 
 
A more confident person can be seen from his larger signature which is larger than the main text of his essay, bold and optimistic signature.

​Then, the next trait you can check is where he placed his signature on the paper. Is it on the left or the right side of the paper?
 
If it is on the left, he will tend to avoid introducing himself to your clients, for instance at a company event. So, if this position is related to marketing, sales, PR, or similar to these, the other applicant who signs on the right side of the paper will be more inclined and comfortable to present himself to your clients without you, the employer, by his side.

So, did you manage to find any of these traits on your candidates’ handwriting? 

To get your job interview candidates’ handwriting analysed, go to www.grapholistic.com 

Written By S.Sulianah (Certified Handwriting Analyst and Personality Growth Consultant of Grapholistic International). S.Sulianah ​has been practicing human resource management in organisations for over 15 years. She has worked with companies from manufacturing, service, engineering and construction industries. 

A keen explorer and curious to understand why human behave in a certain way. ​She has been applying this science in selecting personnel. Recruiting is not merely understanding the candidates’ capabilities, it is to learn how their personality traits could be the enhancer to their talents which would then benefit the organisation.

To re-post this contents on your website, social media, blogs, articles, YouTube etc, please remember to quote the Author's name, S.Sulianah, and link to her company's website www.grapholistic.com.

Self-esteem is the fundamental trait that you need to prioritize. When there is an absence of a healthy self-esteem, you will break the entire architecture of your personal identity, confidence and gradually affecting your perception towards your life and your surrounding. Focus on building on it and everything else will follow suit.

These are the core areas that you can focus on when you are building your self-esteem.

1. BE SELF-AWARE
Firstly, before you start developing your brain, mind and feelings to shape the way you perceive about yourself, you have to be clearly aware of how you actually feel towards yourself. Not what others tell you how you should be. Not what others tell you who you are. It is more on what is your reaction when others comment to you about things they don't like about you. Are you agreeing with them and start disliking yourself too? Or you totally disagree with them and instead you believe in yourself even more?

Because if you agree and follow what they want, then you are making them control your life. It doesn't matter whether what they said are the truth or not. You have to be self-aware of your behavior and your habits by yourself.  You have to acknowledge first, before you decide what to do. 

While you are doing that, learn to observe how your thoughts and feelings work together because this will help you understand better why at times you behave a certain way even though it is blatantly inappropriate. 

2. DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS
This is the one and only that will increase your anxiety, and will test your patience. Why? Because you are trying to match your life with your friends, siblings and those other people you see in social media, even though they are not important in your life. They have a different objectives and responsibilities in their life. Stay on your lane and live your own life. Create your own path that you have always wanted since you were a teenager. Always remember that the grass is greener on the other side. Are you willing to sacrifice something that you like, to get what you want like those people you are comparing with?

3. SET GOALS AND BE BRAVE TO DREAM
Create goals in your mind. Set what you want to have, to own, to live by, to experience. Imagine those in your mind and let yourself feel those moments. Don't be afraid to set high goals even though you think it might sound a bit too much. The universe is so vast that nothing is impossible. Remember when you were at school, you thought that you couldn't afford to drive a car? Well, now you do. Remember when you do not have enough money to travel to Europe when you started your first job? Well, you did went to Switzerland recently, didn't you? So, the point is, if you want it, you will get it.

When I was a HR Manager in one of the organisations I used to work in, I will observed how employees behaved, performed at work, spent their time when there was not much tasks to do, how they speak to one another, and their behavior in general. One day, the owner of the company informed me of his concerns related to the performance of the staff as of recent. He observed that they seemed demotivated even though he did gave out generous benefits and flexibility with time at work and all. So, I shared with him about what I had been observing over the years. I had highlighted to him about personal goals. Probably, a number of them had not set their own personal goals so they can keep moving towards it. This has nothing to do with the company's personal goals. Company's personal goals is the responsibility of the owner. What I meant was what they are looking for in their life. Not only earning money to feed the family back home. Not the routine. It is more than that.  If they have none, means they will drag themselves everyday to wake up every morning to come to work. Once they cannot imagine where they want themselves to be in the next 5 to 10 years, or 20 years, there is nothing that they will look forward to. And unfortunately, their demotivation will affect the company in some way. 

As for the employees who has their own set of mind who knows what they are looking for in the next few years for themselves such as attaining Masters Degree, running their own companies in the future, venturing to work in other companies for career development, looking forward to complete the projects assigned, you can notice the difference in their discipline, overall performance, the way they speak to others, the number of projects they can complete, the way they speak to clients, and their energy in comparison to those who has a narrow perspectives of what they are looking for at that time. 

5. READ AND READ
Yes, reading can develop your self-esteem. Why? Because it help you expand your mind to another world instead of just yours. You will learn many new knowledge that will make you be confident with yourself and make you think more in-depth of the situations which is surrounding you. At first you might only find out about the surface of a behavior by reading a few books, then when you start to question how it works and why it works, that is when you will start to be exposed with another set of new genre of books explaining the intricacy. Eventually, you will realized the abundance of opportunities, love and knowledge in this universe that you and I have not even explored.

Reading will also sharpened your conversational, comprehension, writing and analyzing techniques. When you are good at these, you need not worry about your confident to speak to people. You can be thrown in a mass of Aliens, and I bet you that you can make friends with them.

So...why wait? Start reading, again!

6. EXPRESSING YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
This is a tad bit subjective if you were to ask me, "But what if it is not worth it to express my opinions to them?". Yeah, that is when you have to evaluate before you say anything. At times, the situation and the person we are talking to are not suitable for us to share our opinions to. So, don't. 

What I meant here is being brave to say it when something is not right or when a person is saying something without any basis including being disrespectful to you that you feel like they need to learn. Then, if you are someone who is confident with the topic on hand, if you are having a high self-perception towards yourself, you will be more confident to enter into that argument with your own justification. But if not, you will end up keeping quiet and you wish that you have the confidence to reply to her back. 

I used to have this problem when I was a teenager and during my mid-20s. Usually, I will stand on my own opinion but personally I don't feel like arguing because at that time I was not confident with the way I communicate to people. I was less confident about my capabilities to speak and write because I feel like I was not good at my English language. Then, what I did was to sharpen my English writing and conversational skills over the years. I have a model in mind that I want to be like that person, and since then I never stopped writing and never stopped telling people what is in my mind. 

​7. CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY
Be friendly and not arrogant. That is the motto. But be cautious on who you let be in your inner circle of friends. This is important because the people you spend your time with will affect how you perceive yourself. You might be having a healthy self-perception towards yourself, but once someone who kept highlighting the negatives to you such as 'You should do this', or 'You are really dumb', or 'I don't think you deserve that recognition', then these will eventually crumble your walls of confidence. Be with people who has a growth mindset and whenever after you are done having dinner with them, you will leave with a smile on your face looking forward to the next one. Their presence should not be a drag to you.

8. NEVER STOP LEARNING
Once you stop learning, there goes the energy of your brain, withering until it makes you lose hope in life. Find new things to learn and explore. It can be as simple as learning how to edit a video. It can be as simple as learning how to cook. Go, grab something to master. Keep learning new skills. 

9. CHANGE HABITS
Discard habitual practices that are not benefiting you in any way. The brain has to evolve. Find new things to try and keep changing your routines. 

10. IGNORE OTHERS' NEGATIVE COMMENTS
Yes, I highlighted negative comments. There is no need for you to evaluate once you observe where the message is heading to. Once something is unsettled in your feelings, consider it as not a good thing. No arguments here please.

Why? Because if someone is really concerned with you and your feelings, they will not start the conversation with telling you, "Oh, you look like you gain weight". They can start it with, "Hey,how is life? Is everything doing good?" Which means, if you want to share further, "You know, I feel like I have gained weight..." then, you do it that way. Yeah, don't ask me why these people never think before they speak. I am quite tired writing the same things over and over again to tell my point here. 

Recently, I have learnt something from a video posted by @Jordan in Tiktok. She shared that her mum used to remind her since she was young to follow the 5-Second Rule. No, nothing to do about dropping your food on the floor. This rule is more on dropping your unnecessary opinions to people. If you see that a person could not change within 5-Second of that thing you noticed, don't even say it out. Which means if you noticed that the person has gain weight or lose weight, and they cannot change it within 5 seconds, there is no need to tell them. But if you see that his pants is torn, and by informing him, he can make decision to cover it in seconds, then tell him.  I think this is a good way to stop ourselves from being insensitive. 

​11. IGNORE WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU
This is another factor that can increase your anxiety and lower your self-esteem. Practicing this might be difficult at first but once you master the art of not caring what people think about you, you will live happily ever after. Anyway, who cares what they think of you? Whenever you have these thoughts, remind yourself these. Did they pay for your school fees? Did they pay for your meals everyday? Are they paying for you to live? No, right? Then, why are you even worried about what they think of you. Unless you want to know whether that girl you like, likes you back and you want to know what she thinks of you, that is a different scenario. 

Anyone who makes you uncomfortable being yourself, you have to step back and not allow that person to dominate your life. 

12. DON'T CRITICIZE YOURSELF
Why are you condemning each and every mistakes you have done? Acknowledge it to yourself, you made a mistake is fine. But why are you dwelling on everything you had done? You are conditioning your mind to keep telling you that you made a mistake, and kept telling you to regret.

Improve on those so you will not repeat the same mistakes, then move on. And never ever look down on yourself. If you think that the person you like is in love with someone else, don't tell yourself that, 'Ah she chose her is because she is better than I am'. Please, no honey. That is not how it works. You are meant for someone else who will appreciate you because remember that list you have created for yourself? The one that you had listed the type of person you want your partner to be. Yeah, well. That person is still out there. Be patience. 

13. DO NOT COMPROMISE WITH DISRESPECTFUL PEOPLE
I decided to add this point here is because this is indirectly going to affect the way you perceived yourself. If that person you are befriending with disrespect others as simple as someone who is working as a waitstaff, that friend will behave the same way with you, eventually. Being with them is reducing your self-worth. And yes, at first it will be you re-evaluating with Yeah, well they treat them that way but not with me, you said to yourself Don't be too oversensitive. Just close one eye. It is a small matter and will be gone soon. It will not.

Whenever you make decisions especially in situations where there are other factors to put in place before you decide, learn to sync your mindset with whatever you feel. If one of it identified it as wrong, keep re-evaluating and you have to be brave to decide what to do with it before your body take full control. 

​14. STAY FOCUS ON YOUR WELL-BEING
Your life is about you. Any decisions you make, please ask yourself whether you are hurting now and in the long-run. If something is not worth it, hold the decision first, or make the decision right away once you are confident with your evaluation. Doesn't matter who you are dealing with, whether that person is your parents, the love of your life, your siblings, friends, employers, or co-workers. Focus what is the best for you.
​

16. PRIORITIZE ON YOUR HAPPINESS. DON'T WORRY ON WHAT OTHERS WILL THINK OF YOUR CHOICE
At any point of time when you are trying to achieve greater things for your life, focus on what you want. There are some things that you need to probably do that will not be conditioned to what the society expects you to do, so you have to learn to prioritize. You may want to explore and test the market to be your own boss, building businesses of your own. Then, there will be influx of comments and opinions that you never asked for. And because of that, at times it will affect your own perception whether you are making the right decision. That is why, you have to learn to shut these off immediately without evaluating. These comments are coming from people who are having different set of life, principles and objectives in their life. If you follow what they say, you are living their life. Don't cave in to something that has no correlation with your objective. 

Currently, I have been running my businesses full-time after nearly 2 decades working for others. I had to keep this venture low profile especially from my mom. She doesn't know I am doing this just because I want to avoid listening to her opinions and worries of hers (not mine). A friend of mine told me, you should tell her who knows she will be proud of you instead. She told me twice and the recent one was indirectly asking me whether my dad has been to my new office. My dad knows about my adventures but since he did not requested, I did not show him. If I am so worried what my friend's opinion of me will be, I would cave in and tell my mom about it just because we are conditioned to tell our parents everything we do. But because I know why I made that decision, and because I will be the one who is in that position to listen to comments of my mom not my friend, I made a strong stance about my own decision. I really don't care if my friends think of me of anything else. Because this is my life, not hers. 

17. NEVER CLOSE ONE EYE ON DISRESPECTFUL BEHAVIOR
I have highlighted this earlier and I am writing the same here. 

18. BE BRAVE TO MOVE ON AND KEEP REINVENTING YOURSELF
​Stop dwelling on your past and move on. Yes, put in your best courage you have and move on. When I said move on means, stop thinking about the moments you had that made you feel down. Stop thinking about the failures from the past. You have done your share learning from your mistakes and improving on it so you will not repeat the same. Now it is the time to not regret it forever. Move on if you are still clinging to feeling loved towards someone who is not feeling the same way. You will not meet with someone else who is better than her or him if you still cling like a koala. You will not meet your soulmate if you refused to let go of someone who is not meant for you. By the way, I found out that our soulmate is actually ourselves. 

This method is possible. I have tried it myself. Even though it took extra one more month than my planned 6 months to forget and let go, in the end it still works. No hatred. Let go with love, but be determined to move on. ​

​You can learn so  much about yourself like how you will behave in stressful situations, the way you will usually express your feelings and many other possibilities when you are in situation. 

Don't let others determine who they want you to be. Be self-aware of who you are and harness your strengths for your benefit.

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